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Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Living-In-Clip on July 07, 2001, 10:57:26 AM

Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Living-In-Clip on July 07, 2001, 10:57:26 AM
I wrote this one day after gettin\' annoyed by Mcdonalds service.. Use at your own risk.
;)

Torture Mcdonalds...

"No, you may not!" --Act 1--

 "May I help you?", it happens everytime you go thru Mcdonald\'s Drive-Thru.. Its not like they actually expect you to say "No, thanks." , now is it?   Well, now you do! This prank is simple, and can be extremely annoying. Find a slow night, and go up to the drive-thru machine, when they "May I help you?" simply go "No, Thanks".  Then drive back thru, wait in line.. Do it again. By the 10th time, you should start to get more rude. When they go "May I help you?", go "NO! I TOLD YOU FOR THE LAST TIME ..NO!", and drive thru (if you can back out, that\'d be sweet).. Get more aggresive each time, and more "paranoid" in your little responses.  Within 20 mintues of doing this, you will get someone extremely pissed off..

"I\'d like whopper..er..what?." --Act 2--

 Go to Mcdonalds (or whatever), and ask for a Whopper. But, of course they don\'t sell one, so let them explain that. So, then ask for  curly fries, which they don\'t sell.   When you do this, be sure to be really slow, and act old. Draw this whole thing as much as possible, and act very confused. Once you\'ve limited everything out, ask them what THEY do sell. This of course, will piss them off, because you have a menu infront of you. So, if by chance, they point that out, go "My eye-sight isn\'t so good sonny.." that way they HAVE to explain to you what they do sell. If you done this right, and made it last long enough, you should have a line behind you. If you\'ve got a line long enough behind you, and they are pissed, simply go.. "You serve pepsi?", when they answer "Yes", go "I\'d like a small pepsi, please!" . Of course, they are going to be pissed off, and so are the people behind you, when they pull up to see you wasted all their time, for one small Pepsi..

"Thats how much?" --Act 3--

 Work at Mcdonalds for awhile,(not that I have) and one of the most annoying things you\'ll encounter is when people ask you how much something is, even though they can read the menu. So, simply order something, and keep asking how much it is. Once you add to that order, like a soda, ask for a total. Then add more to it again. Make a limit on price though. Once you get to your 5 dollars, go, "Well, I don\'t quite have that much..How much would a small fry be?".  This joke is rather boring, but still can provide some amusement. Then repeat the ordeal.

"I want ELAINE, DAMNIT!"--Act 4--

 This one requires research,  and money! Money you ask? Why yes! You need to buy a phonecard! Now for the research part... Find an employee\'s first name, perferably a new one. Once you do this, go to a pay-phone, use your phonecard, and call Mcdonalds. Ask for the employee (elaine is example). Once they ask you if its an emergency go, "No! Elaine told me to call here, and talk to her when bored.", in which they should explain she is busy working. Hang up, and do it again later. Do it a few times, till they get pissed at Elaine. THe next night, do it again, except be more rude. Eventually, you\'ll get the manager if you continue this up. Once you do this, and you know you have the manager, say something like. "Look, Elaine said I could call any ****ing time I wanted. She ain\'t worried about being fired by you. So, put Elaine on the phone *****.", this should call quite a stir among Elaine and her manager. Why, you ask? (1) You insulted him/her. Thats a no-no. (2) The buisness phone is not for personal calls. Otherwise could result in termination of employment.

             "The Biggie" --Act 5--  

 This one is my second favorite (I love the first) . This one also takes more then one car to be as fun as possible. Also, need to find an extremely slow night, like only you and your freind. Try late at night, before they close, for best results.  The first car (and second) are going to place extremely big orders. Heres what to do.. Drive to the menu-monitor-thingy, and order 35 (or more) burgers, with special request. Like one with cheese, one without, one with onion, 3 without. Then order a bunch of fries, and apple pies. 20 or more sodas. Back out of the parking lot, and have your freind drive up. Have him place an even larger amount. Wait a few mintues, and then one of you should go inside (if possible) and order just something to eat, to listen to them *****, and run around about all the food that was wasted, and the work they done. This NEVER FAILS, if the joke was pulled right.  For an added effect, make them read the order back, and act like they got something wrong, and change most the order completely! Do this a few times, for maxium results.
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Halberto on July 07, 2001, 11:07:55 AM
:laughing:

act one and five are the best :)
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: RichG on July 07, 2001, 11:12:45 AM
LOL nice one. :) Except the Elaine one, thats mean. Heh.

"The Meal" - Act 6.

Walk into McDonalds and ask for a meal. Once they ask what kind of meal you want, ask them to list them. Then once completly listed, reask for a "meal". Then once again they will ask for the type of meal you want and once again you will ask for the list of meals they serve, saying something like "what meals do you have again?". Start to get angry, demanding your meal. Once the manager comes ask if they serve meals. Once he replies with yes and lists them. Ask for meal. By this stage he/she will probably bring a random one. Then complain that it isnt the right meal, telling them you wanted the Whopper meal (or something which Burger King serve).
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Falcon4 on July 07, 2001, 11:17:29 AM
hahaahhaahahahahahahahahahahahahhahahahahahahah
oh yeah!!!!!!

i gotta pull these with my buds tonite!!!!!!

now well be busy(on july 4th we put an artillery shell in a porta poddie, man, there was sh!t everywhere!! it made a huge bang, and the door blew open.)

now for mcdonalds.....
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Living-In-Clip on July 07, 2001, 11:22:16 AM
Quote
Originally posted by RichGUK
LOL nice one. :) Except the Elaine one, thats mean. Heh.

"The Meal" - Act 6.

Walk into McDonalds and ask for a meal. Once they ask what kind of meal you want, ask them to list them. Then once completly listed, reask for a "meal". Then once again they will ask for the type of meal you want and once again you will ask for the list of meals they serve, saying something like "what meals do you have again?". Start to get angry, demanding your meal. Once the manager comes ask if they serve meals. Once he replies with yes and lists them. Ask for meal. By this stage he/she will probably bring a random one. Then complain that it isnt the right meal, telling them you wanted the Whopper meal (or something which Burger King serve).


:laughing: Nice one.


Here is another one you can do.

If you notice that even ONE employee in the back is not wearing gloves to handle the food. Get in line, then order something. Then mention that they are not wearing gloves. If they say something, start to debate with them how sanitary that is. Make sure when you do this, there is people behind you. Start making comments like, "and what if that person goes to the bathroom? I don\'t want to eat after they just used the bathroom and are not wearing gloves". Drag the situation out as long as possible and make gross but valid comments about the fact they are not wearing gloves. Do not get too gross though, as you don\'t want them to have a reason to kick you out. If you did it right or if it worked, the people will behind you will get grossed out, the manager and employee\'s will be pissed off and you\'ll have a good laugh at the end of it.


I thought that one up one day, after goin\' in a Mcdonalds and NONE of the employee\'s had gloves on when handling the food.
Title: me and my friends did this...
Post by: Halberto on July 07, 2001, 11:50:39 AM
Go up to the counter/speaker and say "I\'d like a cheeseburger with no cheese." When you get it back say "What?!?! I said cheeseburger! Not Hamburger! Geez!"


I know, pretty stupid but its better than sitting on ur ass all day watching cheesey talk shows.
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: kopking on July 07, 2001, 12:04:10 PM
you are one evil batard, i like you...lol
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: SER on July 07, 2001, 02:39:33 PM
Yeah, and ask for milkshake with no milk! hahahahhaha :laughing:
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Ashford on July 07, 2001, 02:54:22 PM
Order confusing items like a large orange Coke or a small medium fries.

Speak into the receiver in a garbled, incomprehensible speech, then when picking up your order, speak the same way.

Walk through the Drive-Thru.

Drive through backwards.

Order a lot of food, then cut out of line and watch the guy behind you get tons of food.

Hide someone in the trunk, then when picking up your food, have him/her bang loudly and yell, like they\'re being kidnapped.

Order a Whopper at McDonalds, a Big Mac at Taco Bell, etc.

Engage in a lengthy conversation with the drive-thru attendant.
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: §ôµÏG®ïñD on July 07, 2001, 03:49:05 PM
None of them would work where i live.. We don\'t have the voice box thing.. We talk too the people personaly in drive thrus.
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: SER on July 07, 2001, 04:02:20 PM
You live in a third world country?
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Jumpman on July 07, 2001, 04:09:36 PM
Quote
Originally posted by serrano007
You live in a third world country?

Yes he does. It\'s called Australia. :D
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: §ôµÏG®ïñD on July 07, 2001, 04:43:23 PM
yea.. Thank god it\'s not a sh@thole like america. :D
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Bobs_Hardware on July 07, 2001, 04:47:21 PM
Quote
Originally posted by §ôµÏG®ïñD
None of them would work where i live.. We don\'t have the voice box thing.. We talk too the people personaly in drive thrus.


dood...how tehnilogically advanced is Melbourne...the voice box thingies have been available for years man
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: §ôµÏG®ïñD on July 07, 2001, 04:56:48 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Bobs_Hardware


dood...how tehnilogically advanced is Melbourne...the voice box thingies have been available for years man



this coming from a 56k\'r.... BUHAHAHAHAHA


We have the voice box thingies at KFC, Sub-Way, Red Roaster, Hungry jacks.. The yanks know it as Burger King etc.. But being in a 3rd world country and all.. we don\'t come by them a lot.
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: w1ngman on July 07, 2001, 05:02:54 PM
During a pledge trip this lil\' trick got me summarily booted out of the Burger King a number of years ago...

Buy a "boxed" burger (doesn\'t matter...just something that comes in a flip-top box).  Remove the burger.  Take the box into the restroom.  Drop a load...that\'s right...a nice stinky load...into the flip-top box.  Take the box (closed) to the counter and complain that your burger tastes like sh1t!!!  And it ain\'t no fun if you don\'t get them to open the box, ...right???  Nasty...nasty prank.  Quite foul.  And also not extremely fun without friends to enjoy it with you! ;)
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Toxical on July 07, 2001, 05:32:13 PM
I try not to torture these people, you never know what they will put in your burger next time they see you. right? Unless you never eat at that particular location, might as well. :D
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Sublimesjg on July 07, 2001, 07:01:15 PM
exactly what i was thinking

i need to try some of these though since i have some friends that work there and all

it would be pretty funny for me
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: SER on July 07, 2001, 09:15:13 PM
Since when did Subway have drive thrus????? WOW. haha. Man, I am jealous of that!
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: on July 07, 2001, 09:35:08 PM
haha

or you could ask for like 20 cheese burgers and 20 drinks and when they finnaly have it ready say o i dont have enough money for this and walk away.....its funny i\'ve tried it...and it really REALLY pisses them off!
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Coredweller on July 07, 2001, 11:58:00 PM
I have to be the one to say this.

Here\'s the best trick of all:  Get a job at a McDonalds, or any other US fast food chain.  Work endless hours and long nights accepting a perpetual barrage of abuse from dimwitted customers, while being paid virtual slave wages, then... wait till some twit tries any of these pranks on you, and SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT.

Why don\'t you post a list of pranks to pull on someone who deserves it, like meter maids.
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: §ôµÏG®ïñD on July 08, 2001, 12:16:07 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Coredweller
I have to be the one to say this.

Here\'s the best trick of all:  Get a job at a McDonalds, or any other US fast food chain.  Work endless hours and long nights accepting a perpetual barrage of abuse from dimwitted customers, while being paid virtual slave wages, then... wait till some twit tries any of these pranks on you, and SEE HOW YOU LIKE IT.

Why don\'t you post a list of pranks to pull on someone who deserves it, like meter maids.



When i try some of these pranks.... I\'ll be thinking of u. ;)
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: fastson on July 08, 2001, 12:33:16 AM
HHAA!

Thats very funny! :)

Perhaps Ill try one of them some day.. (we have a voicebox on our McD..)

But Im not a lazy american.. So I go into the resturant an order :)
(j/k)
(Almost no one uses the drive-in here!)
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Hawke on July 08, 2001, 12:58:33 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Living-In-Clip

"I\'d like whopper..er..what?." --Act 2--
*snip* ...you should have a line behind you. If you\'ve got a line long enough behind you, and they are pissed, simply go.. "You serve pepsi?", when they answer "Yes", go "I\'d like a small pepsi, please!" . Of course, they are going to be pissed off, and so are the people behind you, when they pull up to see you wasted all their time, for one small Pepsi..


Hm, that\'s a potential spot for even more annoying fun here in finland, where the McDonalds do not serve Pepsi at all (Pepsi is served at other fast-food chains, MD here has some deal with Cocaine-Cola, i think).

And if you ask for Pepsi at a McDonalds, they give you Coke. If you ask for Coke in a Pepsi-serving food outlet, they give you Pepsi.

"What the heck is this, I clearly stated that I wanted Pepsi, and you just filled my cup with this... this, *bleep* *add endless lines of vile insults*"
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Gradman on July 08, 2001, 03:00:27 AM
Quote
None of them would work where i live.. We don\'t have the voice box thing.. We talk too the people personaly in drive thrus.



That\'s crazy, like ole bobby boy said up here in Brisbane we get voice boxes for every drive thru there is, saves hassle. And the car idea wouldn\'t work, because I don\'t know how they operate in america, but here they have a closed circuit camera that watches the drive through. When a car comes, they see it, and that way they know to take the order, and they also know which car placed which order.

But the voice box thing reminds me of a VERY VERY funny story... this one had me in tears months after it happened. Up here, at the entrace to a lot of drive through\'s, like just before you drive in there is a big green bin, that\'s rectangular shaped. Noone really uses it cos you generally don\'t have the food before you go in the drive through, but this is one of those things I\'ll never forget:

It was Macdonalds near the Gold Coast I think, and there was a pretty healthy line of cars, all driving into the drive through one after the other and placing their order in the box. Anyhoo this old man rocks up in one of those putt putt cars that go as fast on the highway as a regular car does in a car wash. He rolls up into the car park, drives forward and stops. He places his order as usual....... into the bin!!!!!
HAHAHHAHAHAHH FUNNIEST THING EVER

ohhh man I was in tears, I couldn\'t believe how funny that was. hahahahahah the maccas people had to lean out of the window and tell him that he wasn\'t ordering in the right place. VERY VERY FUNNY
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: RichG on July 08, 2001, 03:03:26 AM
We don\'t have voice box in the UK.

Also same with the Coke. They serve coke at our McDonalds but if you ask for Pepsi they give you Coke etc.

Is it true that you Americans get free refills for your drinks ?
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Weltall on July 08, 2001, 03:05:28 AM
Yeah, we get free refills, UNLIMITED free refills. Land of the free and home of the brave. And all the Sprite you could ever hope for:)

We also get free refills on coffee, which is why I go there sometimes in the morning. There isn\'t a cheaper way to get completely wired:D
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: Gradman on July 08, 2001, 03:07:41 AM
they got that here in Australia too, if you eat in the restaurant itself, you get free refills. So the smart thing to do is, ALWAYS buy a small size drink, and get refills, instead of drinking as much and spending more on a large. SO many people don\'t think to do that, it\'s quite funny
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: METALGEAR007 on July 09, 2001, 08:46:34 AM
we do have voice sensore here in the uk well aberdeen has !!!
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: AlteredBeast on July 09, 2001, 09:39:34 AM
How about this one.

Go in to Macdonalds (worst fast food available) and order a couple hamburgers and a milkshake.

After you get the burgers, stuff an entire one in your mouth and go into the bathroom, chew it up and get it all soggy and stuff and spit it out all over one of the stalls and toilets. The flush the toilet and wait a second and take the next one and drop it in the toilet (It should be towards the end of the flush, therefore clogging the toilet. Then take the chocalate milkshake and spill part of it into the bowl and around the seat and walk out of the bathroom and get the manager and tell him that someone had an accident in there.

:)

Then go over to ANY other fast food place and get food that isnt made of grade Q beef and rat turds.


Eric Jacob
Title: How to torture Mcdonalds...
Post by: §ôµÏG®ïñD on July 10, 2001, 05:41:32 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Gradman
they got that here in Australia too, if you eat in the restaurant itself, you get free refills. So the smart thing to do is, ALWAYS buy a small size drink, and get refills, instead of drinking as much and spending more on a large. SO many people don\'t think to do that, it\'s quite funny


In melbourne we get unlimited refills at hungry jacks... Mc\'ers gives us unlimited coffee.. But i hate coffee.. Infact.. I pretty much hate coke too. :)