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Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: videoholic on September 19, 2001, 02:28:04 PM

Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: videoholic on September 19, 2001, 02:28:04 PM: It seems that any joke is offensive to someone. Kind of hard to find a joke that isn\'t degrading to jews or women or pollocks, whatever. Can you think of a joke that doesn\'t offend anyone?

I\'m going to take a stab at it.

What\'s the difference between having sex and taking a dump?

You don\'t have to cuddle the turd for twenty minutes when you\'re done.

Crap, that is offensive to turds.
OK, now you try.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: THX on September 19, 2001, 02:54:18 PM: Q: What kind of food do you eat on a first date?
A: relationchips

Q: How do you know if you\'re gonna be a math teacher when you grow up?
A: At age 12 you start growing cubic hairs.

Q: What happened to Clark Kent when he changed in the bathroom?
A: He became pooperman

Q: What do ghosts put on their mashed potatoes?
A: Gravey

Q:What do you eat while watching Showgirls?
A: Popporn

And yes I made these up myself thank you.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: GAMES on September 19, 2001, 03:02:10 PM: Quote
Originally posted by THX
Q: What kind of food do you eat on a first date?
A: relationchips

Q: How do you know if you\'re gonna be a math teacher when you grow up?
A: At age 12 you start growing cubic hairs.

Q: What happened to Clark Kent when he changed in the bathroom?
A: He became pooperman

Q: What do ghosts put on their mashed potatoes?
A: Gravey

Q:What do you eat while watching Showgirls?
A: Popporn

And yes I made these up myself thank you.

Those have got to be the funnies jokes ever:laughing: :laughing:

J/K:D
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Bladez on September 19, 2001, 03:50:05 PM: Here\'s one.....What\'s your most musical body part?

Your nose. You can pick it and blow it.:laughing:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Falcon4 on September 19, 2001, 03:51:02 PM: Why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side... duh :D

i doubt thats degrading
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: ajoh432 on September 19, 2001, 04:03:35 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Falcon4
Why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side... duh :D

i doubt thats degrading
LOL! I get it!:D
Quote
Here\'s one.....What\'s your most musical body part?

Your nose. You can pick it and blow it.
I don\'t get it....:confused:

:laughing: Aren\'t I fuuuuunny?

I suck at jokes....:cool:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Halberto on September 19, 2001, 04:04:14 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Falcon4
Why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side... duh :D

i doubt thats degrading

Oh... My... God...

:eek:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: videoholic on September 19, 2001, 04:25:56 PM: You can pick your friends and you can pick your nose, but you can\'t wipe your friends on the couch.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Lord of Darkness on September 19, 2001, 04:35:42 PM: I don\'t know any jokes that don\'t contain the words "There was a man from Nantucket..."
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: SonyFan on September 19, 2001, 06:53:26 PM: Polock jokes are non-offencive. That\'s because polocks are too stoopid to understand them. :p
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: IronFist on September 19, 2001, 08:28:33 PM: Q: What do you call a Jamaican proctologist?

A: A Pokemon!
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Weltall on September 19, 2001, 10:31:38 PM: DOCWIZ.

:laughing:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: SmallLady on September 20, 2001, 03:14:56 AM: Sexy jokes usually don\'t offend anyone, that\'s why they\'re my favorite. (well actually it\'s because they are the funniest)
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: eNeMyTooTH on September 20, 2001, 03:54:27 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Weltall
DOCWIZ.

:laughing:

God that\'s bringing tears to my eyes! :laughing: :laughing:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Stupid Mop on September 20, 2001, 04:28:35 AM: Why did Sally fall off the swing?

She had no arms.

But thats offensive to people with no arms
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: videoholic on September 20, 2001, 05:31:12 AM: Quote
Originally posted by THX
Q: What kind of food do you eat on a first date?
A: relationchips

Offensive to Ruffles.

Quote

Q: How do you know if you\'re gonna be a math teacher when you grow up?
A: At age 12 you start growing cubic hairs.
[/B]

Offensive to Math Geeks.

Quote

Q: What happened to Clark Kent when he changed in the bathroom?
A: He became pooperman
[/B]

Offensive to Sanitation workers.

Quote

Q: What do ghosts put on their mashed potatoes?
A: Gravey
[/B]

Offensive to nt only dead people, but the entire potato industry.

Quote

Q:What do you eat while watching Showgirls?
A: Popporn
[/B]

Offensive to all people who enjoy movies. God that movie SUCKED!!

Quote
And yes I made these up myself thank you. [/B]
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Bossieman on September 20, 2001, 08:32:25 AM: What is the difference on a duck?

One leg is green, the other leg is also blue.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Bozco on September 20, 2001, 08:38:45 AM: You guys wanna hear a dirty Joke??????????

-A guy fell in some mud:laughing:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: videoholic on September 20, 2001, 09:16:02 AM: What\'s the difference between a golf ball and a \'G\' spot?

Guys will look twenty minutes for a golf ball.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Falcon4 on September 20, 2001, 11:51:50 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Videoholic
What\'s the difference between a golf ball and a \'G\' spot?

Guys will look twenty minutes for a golf ball.

heeh yep...

but you never told me if my joke offends somthing.....

but i bet thats one that dosent offend.

i like to look for golf ballz.....
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: pstwo on September 20, 2001, 12:17:13 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Videoholic
What\'s the difference between a golf ball and a \'G\' spot?.

Videoholic, where the hell is the "G" spot. I\'ve been with my girlfriend over 11 years and still can\'t find it!!
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Living-In-Clip on September 20, 2001, 12:43:58 PM: Quote
Originally posted by pstwo

Videoholic, where the hell is the "G" spot. I\'ve been with my girlfriend over 11 years and still can\'t find it!!

Right next to your credit card and wallet....
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: videoholic on September 20, 2001, 12:47:15 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Falcon4
Why did the chicken cross the road?

to get to the other side... duh :D

i doubt thats degrading

This joke offends all who read it because it sucks so bad.

hehehe:laughing:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Falcon4 on September 20, 2001, 03:24:19 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Videoholic

This joke offends all who read it because it sucks so bad.

hehehe:laughing:

nice one
i guess it works, nobody laughes at that one anymore, exept the occasional foreigner who dosent know waht it means to he laughs anyways and makes a fool outta himself...
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: videoholic on September 20, 2001, 06:07:38 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Falcon4

nice one
i guess it works, nobody laughes at that one anymore, exept the occasional foreigner who dosent know waht it means to he laughs anyways and makes a fool outta himself...

OK, now you have offended the foreigners.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Toxical on September 20, 2001, 06:45:51 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Living-In-Clip

Right next to your credit card and wallet....

So true. :crying:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Sublimesjg on September 20, 2001, 07:36:58 PM: actually its different for all girls

i found my gfs in about 2 minutes and we have been going out two monthes now :)
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: M4 on September 21, 2001, 02:05:04 AM: What\'s the most offensive joke you\'ve ever heard? Considering the question in point (the one I just asked), anyone who calls a joke offensive to them here is stating THE BLATANTLY-****ING-OBVIOUS.

Now then, I\'ll post the most offensive joke I\'ve heard, and if anyone says it offends them I\'ll just point out that THAT\'S THE POINT.

Without further ado (be offended, be very offended):

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?

6 million and 4: 2 in the front, 2 in the back, 6 million in the ashtray.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: videoholic on September 21, 2001, 02:22:04 AM: Don\'t stand next to M4 anyone. I think the doorway to the pits of hell have just opened and I would hate for any one else to fall in.

:laughing:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Toxical on September 21, 2001, 04:41:01 PM: Quote
Originally posted by M4
What\'s the most offensive joke you\'ve ever heard? Considering the question in point (the one I just asked), anyone who calls a joke offensive to them here is stating THE BLATANTLY-****ING-OBVIOUS.

Now then, I\'ll post the most offensive joke I\'ve heard, and if anyone says it offends them I\'ll just point out that THAT\'S THE POINT.

Without further ado (be offended, be very offended):

How many Jews can you fit in a Volkswagen?

6 million and 4: 2 in the front, 2 in the back, 6 million in the ashtray.

That joke is offensive, and btw, you better watch out for phone taps, lol, the CIA might start listening to your conversations LOL they might think you are some radical. haha Doh! ;) :nut:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: M4 on September 21, 2001, 10:33:29 PM: Quote
That joke is offensive

(https://psx5central.com/community/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theaskguys.com%2F%257Epics%2Fcaptobvious.gif&hash=4e5abd6649c3c79b7feb789f90beb143c9b49e47)
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Toxical on September 22, 2001, 06:51:12 AM: Quote
Originally posted by M4

(https://psx5central.com/community/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.theaskguys.com%2F%257Epics%2Fcaptobvious.gif&hash=4e5abd6649c3c79b7feb789f90beb143c9b49e47)

LOL, good one, but i was sarcastic anyway. :nerd:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Falcon4 on September 22, 2001, 07:31:23 AM: ah, good ole m4, always going out on the limb to make things different.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Luke on September 22, 2001, 08:33:09 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Sublimesjg
i found my gfs in about 2 minutes and we have been going out two monthes now :)

well hello mr. fancy pants.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Jumpman on September 22, 2001, 08:47:25 AM: You people weren\'t ready for this. :rolleyes:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Luke on September 22, 2001, 08:55:48 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Bossieman
What is the difference on a duck?

One leg is green, the other leg is also blue.

That, my friend, is the greatest joke I have ever heard in my life.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Falcon4 on September 22, 2001, 08:58:03 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Jumpman

This has no real purpose other than being sick twisted humour only enjoyed by demented people like myself. :D

yep, especially people like you. man that is soo sick, the microwave one is the worst. thats gonna give me nightmares.... you are soo sick. that should be deleted for the virgin eyes of weltall..
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Jumpman on September 22, 2001, 09:05:03 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Falcon4

yep, especially people like you. man that is soo sick, the microwave one is the worst. thats gonna give me nightmares.... you are soo sick. that should be deleted for the virgin eyes of weltall..

Admit it, you laughed. :D
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: fastson on September 22, 2001, 09:09:12 AM: LMAO @ M4!

BWAHAHAHAHAH! :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Coredweller on September 22, 2001, 09:16:04 AM: Quote
Originally posted by M4
Now then, I\'ll post the most offensive joke I\'ve heard, and if anyone says it offends them I\'ll just point out that THAT\'S THE POINT.
The first time I heard that joke was when a German told it to me, in German. It was very surprising. I mean, no one should tell a joke like that, but especially not Germans. BTW, I\'ve heard worse.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: w1ngman on September 22, 2001, 10:41:05 AM: Quote
Originally posted by Sublimesjg
actually its different for all girls

i found my gfs in about 2 minutes and we have been going out two monthes now :)

Dang, man! I found your girlfriend\'s "G" spot within 1 minute... :eek:

Hmmm, if we call this a joke, is it offensive??? :D
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Luke on September 22, 2001, 10:56:44 AM: Quote
Originally posted by w1ngman

Dang, man! I found your girlfriend\'s "G" spot within 1 minute... :eek:

well hello Mr. Fancy Pants to you too.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: videoholic on September 22, 2001, 12:53:27 PM: Quote
Originally posted by w1ngman

Dang, man! I found your girlfriend\'s "G" spot within 1 minute... :eek:

Hmmm, if we call this a joke, is it offensive??? :D

With your tongue?
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Falcon4 on September 22, 2001, 12:57:38 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Videoholic

With your tongue?

whatcha think he\'s talking about? his ear or somthing?

;) jk
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: on September 22, 2001, 01:18:00 PM: Well i am a blonde...and I have never heard a dumb blonde joke as bad as this :rpissed: (And I\'ve heard a lot of them!)

nararator: These three girls walk into a bar one night, a blonde, a redhead, and a brunette

Bartender: "Hey! you know there is a magic mirror over there and you tell it a true statement about yourself and it\'ll give you what you\'ve always wished for, but if you lie you will dissappear into the mirror forever!."

Brunette:"Come on girls lets try it!"

nararator: So they did

Brunette: "I think I am the most beautiful girl in the state!"

nararator: And $1,000,000 popped into her hands!

Redhead:"I think I am the most intelligent person around!"

nararator:And the keys to a new Jaguar poppped into her hands!

Blonde: "I think..."

nararator: And she dissappeared!!!

Now tell me what you think?
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: w1ngman on September 22, 2001, 05:41:22 PM: Quote
Originally posted by w1ngman

Dang, man! I found your girlfriend\'s "G" spot within 1 minute... :eek:

Hmmm, if we call this a joke, is it offensive??? :D

Hey Sublimesjg...I saw your pic with your chick over on the "photos" thread.... real cutie...

Sorry guys, but I\'d stuck my tongue in some other girl\'s twat. Musta been a mix up at the same party or something.
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Luke on September 22, 2001, 07:00:28 PM: Quote
Originally posted by w1ngman

Sorry guys, but I\'d stuck my tongue in some other girl\'s twat.

man, twat is such a nasty word to me. and i swear like a mother fu*ker

but for some reason, that word seems so dirty to me.

maybe im just a moron. wait.....yeah thats it.....nevermind
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: M4 on September 22, 2001, 07:08:55 PM: webhead:

That one is so damn old it\'s not even funny.

Coredweller: NOTHING is worse than that one! If you disagree, I don\'t care; your opinion is dead wrong!
Title: Do they make jokes that don\'t offend?
Post by: Sublimesjg on September 23, 2001, 12:06:11 AM: Quote
Originally posted by w1ngman

Hey Sublimesjg...I saw your pic with your chick over on the "photos" thread.... real cutie...

Sorry guys, but I\'d stuck my tongue in some other girl\'s twat. Musta been a mix up at the same party or something.

lol yea you thought you were funny huh

yea that pic is not all that great as i doesnt even really look like me or her - but once i get some better pics i will scan em and show you guys

and i would like to say i was not offended by his joke - see it is possible :p

EDIT: ok here is one i just found

q: why do ladies have legs?
a: so they don\'t leave snail tracks

yay yay i know its sick but funny - sorry its 4:30 am here and i am about dead from today