PSX5Central
Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Bobs_Hardware on January 10, 2002, 04:34:07 AM
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so, i was chatting to my friend.....GRADMAN....yah, anyway he sent me along this story...and i must say...i feel sorry for this guy (sorry/jealous...same things)
this is a guy who won the "Worst Job in Singapore" award...quite prestigious
http://www.studentmagazine.com/thisweek/thisweek_article.asp?articleID=213
Wildlife Reserves Singapore (WRS), which runs the Singapore Zoo,has set up a bank of sperm and animal tissue in order to help preserve species.
The thankless task of collecting the sperm falls to Mr. Binatang\'s, starting his rounds at 4 a.m. "We start so early in the morning because a lot of the animals have \'morning glory\' when they wake up, and it\'s easier to collect the sperm.
Wearing rubber gloves and carrying a cooler box filled with ice and tupperware, Mr. Binatang, 25, told us that he\'d just graduated from Singapore Polytechnic with a diploma in life sciences. He liked nature and animals, and thought that the Singapore Zoo would be the perfect place to work.
"I never thought I\'d be giving an orang-utan a hand job every morning," he said somewhat ruefully. "And he is the worst, he expects to be kissed first. "As we approached the orang-utan enclosure, we saw the Zoo\'s most famous resident lying casually on his back, hands behind his head, and sporting a huge erection.
Applying the massage oil onto his gloves, he lingered outside the enclosure before entering and knelt before the orange beast. About 2 minutes\' worth of squelching noises could be heard before Mr.Binatang emerged again.
Next the tiger enclosure, the big cats were sprawled lazily on the grass verge, in a somewhat half-hearted manner as he put on a fresh set of gloves and entered the enclosure. "Here, kitty, kitty,kitty..."
Moments later, he emerged with several tupperware full of viscous fluid.
"Isn\'t it dangerous?" we asked.
Mr. Binatang was silent for a while.
"They know I\'m not there as an enemy," he finally said, a glazed, faraway look in his eyes.
Worked his way round the zoo, finished his rounds at 3 pm in the afternoon. Carrying out his duties with the tapirs, the rhinoceros, giraffe and the gorillas, amongst others. "Each animal is different," he said, removing his gloves, now speckled with traces of polar bear spunk.
"The chimpanzees always want to be hugged afterwards. The elephant is the most tricky because of the size of its thing... sometimes I have to use both my arms to tug on it."
"As you can expect it\'s really affecting my sex life. I can\'t help it. Each time my wife initiates sex, these ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind."
How long will he stay difficult to know, but deputy assistant director Lai Jee Seow thinks it is important to continue.
"It\'s because the animals have gotten too used to Binatang coming over every morning to pull them off," said "Many of them now can\'t be bothered to engage in real sex."
by Kway Png
brilliant....utterly....amazing
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THey had a guy on the radio the other day who collects sperm from elephants. He has to stick his arm into the elephants ass to stroke his prostate or something or other to get the elephant excited.
Makes producing and directing a tv show not seem so bad after all.
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i can dig it....suckah
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Thats my dream job
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I wish someone would collect from me sometime soon. I\'m getting tired of doing it myself. :o
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Originally posted by serrano007
I wish someone would collect from me sometime soon. I\'m getting tired of doing it myself. :o
You cumming to New Zealand anytime soon??
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hmmm this gives me and idea
I\'ll buy I ticket to Singapore, buy a monkey suit and sneak my self into the zoo....and voila free hand job every morning
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Oh man....That is one unfortunate employment situation.
Originally posted by nO-One
hmmm this gives me and idea
I\'ll buy I ticket to Singapore, buy a monkey suit and sneak my self into the zoo....and voila free hand job every morning
Sorry pal. But I think he\'s been around enough monkey c0ck in his lifetime to tell if it\'s real or not...
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Bad Joke in....
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3...
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Wow, talk about spanking the monkey HAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH OM MY GOD IM SO FUNNY, HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA, HAHAHAHAHAHHAHA THATS HILARIOUS, HAHAHAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHHHAHAHA
*isnt funny*
:fro: toot on
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and why wasnt i informed of this practice!!?!?!
all i ever got was dozens of needles stuck in my posterior
:mad:
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Originally posted by nO-One
hmmm this gives me and idea
I\'ll buy I ticket to Singapore, buy a monkey suit and sneak my self into the zoo....and voila free hand job every morning
Yeah I can start saving money now.
If I worked with this dude, I\'d bring a cd player and play "Lets get it on" by Marvin Gaye every morning.
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:eek: that dood is sick!!! next thing you know he is going to start giving the chimp a blowjob!
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gr0an! :rolleyes:
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Dosent the make machines for these things now?
/me should know ;)
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I saw on the "Man Show" about a turkey um......sperm collector (there\'s another word for it ;) ) and he was describing his job. I\'d hate doing that job every morning. Interesting yet sick and educational article.
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Originally posted by Majin Prince
:eek: that dood is sick!!! next thing you know he is going to start giving the chimp a blowjob!
He\'ll do what he has to man, if the chimp isn\'t on the mood he\'ll just have to do what ever he can to get that lifemaking fluid.
:p
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and I thought being a jizz mopper at a peep show to be pretty bad
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Oh my God! That article is sick! Poor guy...
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:eek:
Thats my dreamjob!
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You guys see the Andy **** Show where he plays a "Endangered Species Preservist"?
He "excites" like 100 endangered species to keep their sperm and them alive. It\'s funny.
EDIT: Okay this censorship is getting pathetic I mean, "Di_ck" is the dude\'s name. Wow this place is tight.
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It takes a real man to admit that this is what he does for a living.
I wonder how his "real dates" go when they ask him what he does for a living. I mean this question usually pops up when the salad is being served at a nice restaurant. It probably doesn\'t help matters if his dates orders Blue Cheese or Creamy Ranch dressing
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OH
MY
GOD
*what follows is text from an ICQ conversation with a friend of mine*
Solid Snake 88(19:07 PM) :
oh
Solid Snake 88(19:07 PM) :
my
Solid Snake 88(19:07 PM) :
god
Solid Snake 88(19:07 PM) :
read this, NOW
Solid Snake 88(19:07 PM) :
http://www.psx2central.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=17653
Renegade[CSR](19:08 PM) :
i dont want to read
Renegade[CSR](19:10 PM) :
collecting + sperm=something bad
Renegade[CSR](19:10 PM) :
eew this is sifck
Solid Snake 88(19:12 PM) :
read the replies
Renegade[CSR](19:12 PM) :
no
Solid Snake 88(19:12 PM) :
AHAHA! I love this place!
Renegade[CSR](19:12 PM) :
its sick
Solid Snake 88(19:12 PM) :
yes its very sick
Solid Snake 88(19:12 PM) :
omg
Solid Snake 88(19:13 PM) :
thats just, eww
Solid Snake 88(19:13 PM) :
i dont want to even think about it
Renegade[CSR](19:13 PM) :
see
Renegade[CSR](19:13 PM) :
see?!
Solid Snake 88(19:13 PM) :
can you imagine yourself in a job like that?
Renegade[CSR](19:13 PM) :
no
Renegade[CSR](19:13 PM) :
i dont really want to try you sick kid
Solid Snake 88(19:13 PM) :
quite literally "spanking the monkey" every morning
Renegade[CSR](19:13 PM) :
ok stop talking
Solid Snake 88(19:15 PM) :
"Applying the massage oil onto his gloves, he lingered outside the enclosure before entering and knelt before the orange beast."
Renegade[CSR](19:16 PM) :
im not reading this anymore. dont send me this **** or ill lblock you
Solid Snake 88(19:16 PM) :
/me falls off chair laughing
Solid Snake 88(19:17 PM) :
"Each time my wife initiates sex, these ejaculating hippos keep floating through my mind."
Solid Snake 88(19:17 PM) :
"the animals have gotten too used to Binatang coming over every morning to pull them off"
Renegade[CSR](19:17 PM) :
thats it
Solid Snake 88(19:17 PM) :
lol
Solid Snake 88(19:18 PM) :
AHAHA
Message was sent. User is Offline.The message will be delivered when user goes Online.
/me dies of laughter
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:laughing:
Solid Snake really making friends. :laughing:
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Originally posted by Vapor Snake
EDIT: Okay this censorship is getting pathetic I mean, "Di_ck" is the dude\'s name. Wow this place is tight.
Relax dude, it\'s automatic. It\'s not like any mods edited the word out.
Anyways, that job is COOL! :laughing:
Makes for some intereting conversation at least. :)