PSX5Central
Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: GmanJoe on March 04, 2002, 03:40:17 PM
-
Nutrition facts
Q: I\'ve heard that cardiovascular exercise can prolong life. Is this true?
A: Your heart is only good for so many beats, and that\'s it... don\'t waste them on exercise. Everything wears out eventually. Speeding up your heart will not make you live longer; that\'s like saying you can extend the life of your car by driving it faster. Want to live longer? Take a nap.
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.
Q: Is beer or wine bad for me?
A: Look, it goes to the earlier point about fruits and vegetables. As we all know, scientists divide everything in the world into three categories: animal, mineral, and vegetable. We all know that beer and wine are not animal, and they are not on the periodic table of elements, so that only leaves one thing, right? My advice: Have a burger and a beer and enjoy your liquid vegetables.
Q: How can I calculate my body/fat ratio?
A: Well, if you have a body, and you have body fat, your ratio is one to one. If you have two bodies, your ratio is two to one, etc.
Q: What are some of the advantages of participating in a regular exercise program?
A: Can\'t think of a single one, sorry. My philosophy is: No Pain - Good.
Q: If I stop smoking, will I live longer?
A: Nope. Smoking is a sign of individual expression and peace of mind. If you stop, you\'ll probably stress yourself to death in record time.
Q: Aren\'t fried foods bad for you?
A: You\'re not listening. Foods are fried these days in vegetable oil. In fact, they\'re permeated in it. How could getting more vegetables be bad for you?
Q: What\'s the secret to healthy eating?
A: Thicker gravy.
Q: Will sit-ups help prevent me from getting a little soft around the middle?
A: Definitely not! When you exercise a muscle, it gets bigger. You should only be doing sit-ups if you want a bigger stomach.
Q. Is chocolate bad for me?
A: Are you crazy? Cocoa beans... Another vegetable. It\'s the best feel-good food around!
I hope this has cleared up any misconceptions you may have had about food and diets. Have a cookie... flour is a veggie!
Eat it suckas! :D
-
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Now, only if it were true. :(
-
Lol, nice. These are unfortunately very squewed (sp?) views of the matter.
1) Your heart isn\'t \'good for so many beats\'. It\'s a muscle, like any other, and can be strengthened. However, not excercising, can cause buildup of things like fat and cholesterol, which can negatively affect your heart.
2) The fact that meat is a \'more concentrated form of vegetables\' is untrue. Each time you move up the ladder of food, you loose much of the original energy, because the animals have converted much of the energy to survive. When you eat meat you also get a lot more of the unhealthy parts of eating animal, fat, cholesterol, etc.
3) I just realized that this obviously a joke. :laughing:
-
You forgot :
4) FatalXception is slow.
:D
-
It may not be true, but I like these answers MUCH better than the "real" ones. I think I like this list, and I just might be living by it. ;)
-
This is my new bible.
So much truth in so few words.
-
vegitarian= someone who is too insensitive to hear the screams of a helpless carrot.
-
(https://psx5central.com/community/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnetdare.com%2Fwhopper%2Fimage6VA.JPG&hash=d0aa37912b1947d38aa730135d1345247c1da1c7)
Mmmmmm Dig in! I love being a Vagiterian! --> (no, this is not a spelling error):D
-
Vegiterian = Apache word for "Bad Hunter"! :D
-
Originally posted by GmanJoe
Vegiterian = Apache word for "Bad Hunter"! :D
Vagiterian = English word for "Lap Licker"!:D
-
Addendum :
Q: What\'s the best way to lose weight?
A: Muscles weigh more than fat. If you want to lose weight, lose the muscle but gain fat! Excercise is a no no. I\'m actually only 75 pounds of fat. 75 pounds.....that\'s nearly anorexic weight! I need to eat more.
-
heheheh, funny stuff man.
-
Very funny, but there\'s no call for needless Vegetarian bashing. I\'m not bashing your eating habits, don\'t bash mine.
-
Why is someone always offended when humor is posted?
-
Originally posted by EThuggV2
Very funny, but there\'s no call for needless Vegetarian bashing. I\'m not bashing your eating habits, don\'t bash mine.
It\'s a joke, murderer of Mr. Potato Head, terror of the peace loving Carrot clan. ;)
-
I shall put these theories into practice.......
.........Starting 20 years ago.
-
...20 years ago
BWAHAHA! Funny thing about those "theories" is it may actually be true....in a sense.
Anyone heard about The Atkins Diet? Lots of meat, lots of vegetable ruffage and absolutely NO carbohydrates (no potatoes, no pasta, no bread). From the many people who stampeded to try out this controlled test (who could resist a "lots of steak and no veggie" diet?), those who had the Atkins diet lost more weight the the old contemporary diet.
I\'m not aware of the minute details regarding the controlled experiment.
http://atkinscenter.com/
-
Originally posted by luckee
Why is someone always offended when humor is posted?
The 1st post was humorous, and I said it was funny. The follow up jokes got steadily stupider, and weren\'t funny. And saying it was unecessary isn\'t being \'offended\'.
-
Q: Should I cut down on meat and eat more fruits and vegetables?
A: You must grasp logistical efficiencies. What does a cow eat? Hay and corn. And what are these? Vegetables. So a steak is nothing more than an efficient mechanism of delivering vegetables to your system. Need grain? Eat chicken. Beef is also a good source of field grass (green leafy vegetable). And a pork chop can give you 100% of your recommended daily allowance of vegetable slop.
With that logic then eating cow sh!t is as healthy as eating vegetables
:D
btw:I am an insensitive "Lap Licker",Bad Hunter" Apache that shows no mercy to carrots:p
-
Originally posted by Unicron!
With that logic then eating cow sh!t is as healthy as eating vegetables
:D
We wanna get within 2 degrees of veggies. Hey....you\'re an herbivore! And that means......you\'re a tasty PREY! :D
-
I\'m offended you dicks....
oops I just used a word that I don\'t approve of, I just offended myself. horse shit
-
Originally posted by GmanJoe
Hey....you\'re an herbivore! And that means......you\'re a tasty PREY! :D
:sconf: Oh oh...!!I hope u are not a carnivore.I suddenly dont feel safe
-
I love beef. I can never see myself a vegitarian. BTW, interesting fact. The pressure it takes to bite through a baby carrot is the same amount of pressure to bite off your pinkey. But don\'t try this at home ;)