PSX5Central
Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: project86 on May 16, 2002, 05:27:43 AM
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RICH WIDOW LOOKING FOR MAN TO SHARE LIFE AND FORTUNE WITH THE
FOLLOWING QUALIFICATIONS:
1. WON\'T BEAT ME UP
2. WON\'T RUN AWAY
3. HAS TO BE GREAT IN BED
For several months, her phone rang off the hook, her doorbell was ringing constantly, she received tons of mail...all to no avail. None of the men seemed to meet her qualifications.
Then one day the doorbell rang yet again. She opened the door to find
a man, with no arms and no legs, lying on the welcome mat. Perplexed, she asked,
"Who are you and what do you want?"
"Hi," said the man "Your search is over, for I am the man of your
dreams.
I\'ve got no arms, so I can\'t beat you up and I\'ve got no legs, so I
can\'t
run away."
The old woman asked, "What makes you think you\'re so great in bed?"
To which he replied, "I rang the doorbell, didn\'t I?"
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lol nice one
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I heard that when I was in like 4th grade, still kinda funny though.
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ha ha ha.... thats funny!!!
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i geddit - he had three arms!!!!
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Originally posted by PS2_-\'_\'-_PS2
i geddit - he had three arms!!!!
???????? :rolleyes:
I got a joke. Here it is.
Theres these three guys camping. They go to bed sleeping in a row side by side. and the next morning the guy on the left side says "wow i had the greatest dream. I dreamt that i was getting a hand job" The guy on the right is like wow mee too . The Guy in the middle is like ohh, thats nothing i dreamt i was skiing.
:laughing: My friend told it to me the other day.
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Haha...they both made me smile.
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Originally posted by Psycomantis101
???????? :rolleyes:
I got a joke. Here it is.
Theres these three guys camping. They go to bed sleeping in a row side by side. and the next morning the guy on the left side says "wow i had the greatest dream. I dreamt that i was getting a hand job" The guy on the right is like wow mee too . The Guy in the middle is like ohh, thats nothing i dreamt i was skiing.
:laughing: My friend told it to me the other day.
Heh. That was my signature before the one I\'m using now. Great, isn\'t it? :bounce:
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:laughing: :laughing:
LOL
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Originally posted by Tom G
Heh. That was my signature before the one I\'m using now. Great, isn\'t it? :bounce:
I like your signature you got now, it suits you better.;)
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OK here\'s a nice nasty one
What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for her birthday?
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Cancer
:D
OK, it doesn\'t look as funny as it sounds.
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My Criminology Profesor told that one last semester, funny then, funny now.
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:laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
Sick jokes are THE BEST!!
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Originally posted by nO-One
OK here\'s a nice nasty one
What did the girl with no arms and no legs get for her birthday?
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Cancer
:D
OK, it doesn\'t look as funny as it sounds.
yeah tell me about it, i didnt find it funny at all you sick ba$tard;)
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Yeah I know a few more sick jokes like that, always funny :D
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You\'re gonna get banned at PALGN for this... ;) :D
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Originally posted by nO-One
Yeah I know a few more sick jokes like that, always funny :D
Come on then, lets have them!!
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Why is that joke so damn funny? Every time I read that thing I get a chuckle. Sick bastard.
You icelandic people are freaks.
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as long as were on this topic i also have a joke, it is best told with friends names that are listening to the joke so ill use member names who have responded to this thread.
Ok so Vid, nO-One and "PS2_-\'_\'-_PS2" were speeding down the highway in Vids new car, he wanted to impress them so he was pushing his car to the limit. Out of no where a cop pulled the car over for speeding. So the officer walks out to the car and asks Vid how fast he was going and all that junk. Vid pleads with the officer to let him off with a warning just this time. The officer responds with a rather suprising offer. He says that if the three of your penises measure 19 or more inches long together that he will let you go. So Vid whips is out and it measures 10 inches not bad says the officer. Next nO-One\'s his measures 8 inches. Then "PS2_-\'_\'-_PS2" takes his out and it measures 1 inch. Boy says the officer i dont know whether or not to feel sorry or happy for you but whatever it is you can go becuase you guys met the qualifications. So Vid slowly drives away. Later as they are once again speeding down the road "PS2_-\'_\'-_PS2" turns to Vid and nO-One and says "jeez,...you two are lucky that i had an erection"
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I have a bigger penis than No-One.:D
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Originally posted by Videoholic
I have a bigger penis than No-One.:D
\'Have,\' or, \'Are\'????? :D
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Both or course.
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Damn Kimahri I was going to tell that joke.
OK, here\'s another one.
This guy was in some city on a buisness trip. After a long meeting he took a cab to his hotel. Feeling kinda bored and wanting some action he asked the cab driver "Hey man, where can a guy get laid around here?" the cab driver answered "Well there are always those icky street girls, however I\'ll tell you a secret, I\'ll drive you to this monestary (spelling?), just dress up like a munk, ask for a nun called sister Jane, tell her you are Jesus she\'ll do anything for you"
The guy liked that, so he got a robe, went to the monestary and asked for the nun, she came wearing that nun thing, he told her he was Jesus, she became very happy and said she\'d do anything for him. He said "Well, I\'d like to get laid" She said sure, however I\'m having my periods, so that might be a problem, the guy said "thats no problem, I\'ll just go in the backdoor".
Well they started going on, after it was over the guy started laughing, he took off his hood and said "hah hah hah, I\'m not Jesus I\'m just some guy hah hah hah"
Then the nun took off her hood and said "hah hah hah I\'m not a nun I\'m the cab driver hah hah hah"
:D
And here\'s another evil one.
It was christmas time and little Suzy looked under the tree, after some time searching she found out there was no package for her. She went to her mom and said "Mommy, how come I don\'t get any gifts"
Her mom looked at her and said "Suzy, you know you\'ve got cancer, we can do better things with out money than wasting it"
^^^
OK that one was probly a little harshe.
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lol...those are both pretty funny.
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Originally posted by nO-One
It was christmas time and little Suzy looked under the tree, after some time searching she found out there was no package for her. She went to her mom and said "Mommy, how come I don\'t get any gifts"
Her mom looked at her and said "Suzy, you know you\'ve got cancer, we can do better things with out money than wasting it"
^^^
OK that one was probly a little harshe.
I would suggest you start donating to the Cancer Society immediately.
:thepimp:
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Originally posted by Kimahri
as long as were on this topic i also have a joke, it is best told with friends names that are listening to the joke so ill use member names who have responded to this thread.
Ok so Vid, nO-One and "PS2_-\'_\'-_PS2" were speeding down the highway in Vids new car, he wanted to impress them so he was pushing his car to the limit. Out of no where a cop pulled the car over for speeding. So the officer walks out to the car and asks Vid how fast he was going and all that junk. Vid pleads with the officer to let him off with a warning just this time. The officer responds with a rather suprising offer. He says that if the three of your penises measure 19 or more inches long together that he will let you go. So Vid whips is out and it measures 10 inches not bad says the officer. Next nO-One\'s his measures 8 inches. Then "PS2_-\'_\'-_PS2" takes his out and it measures 1 inch. Boy says the officer i dont know whether or not to feel sorry or happy for you but whatever it is you can go becuase you guys met the qualifications. So Vid slowly drives away. Later as they are once again speeding down the road "PS2_-\'_\'-_PS2" turns to Vid and nO-One and says "jeez,...you two are lucky that i had an erection"
rofl!!!!! man that is just so funny, heard it ages ago, but totally forgot about it
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I take back what I said about a boner.
I just thanked god I don\'t have a weiner after reading this....
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You know you want one!!!
No-One, you are my new god, they were great!!