PSX5Central
Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Cyrus on June 27, 2002, 03:10:03 PM
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We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here are the Rules from the male side. These are our rules! Please note ... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You\'re a big girl. If it\'s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don\'t hear us *****ing about you leaving it down.
1. Birthdays, Valentines, and Anniversaries are not quests to see if we can find the perfect present yet again!
1. Sometimes we are not thinking about you. Live with it.
1. Sunday racing. It\'s like the full moon or the changing of the tides. Let it be.
1. Don\'t cut your hair. Ever. Long hair is always more attractive than short hair. One of the big reasons guys fear getting married is that married women always cut their hair, and by then you\'re stuck with her.
1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to think of it that way.
1. Crying is blackmail.
1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one: Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious hints do not work! Just say it!
1. We don\'t remember dates. Mark birthdays and anniversaries on a calendar. Remind us frequently beforehand.
1. Most guys own three pairs of shoes - tops. What makes you think we\'d be
any good at choosing which pair, out of thirty, would look good with your dress?
1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.
1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That\'s what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.
1. A headache that last for 17 months is a problem. See a doctor.
1. Check your oil! Please.
1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7 days.
1. If you won\'t dress like the Victoria\'s Secret girls, don\'t expect us to act like soap opera guys.
1. If you think you\'re fat, you probably are. Don\'t ask us. We refuse to answer.
1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways, and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
1. Let us ogle. We are going to look anyway; it\'s genetic.
1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.
1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say during commercials.
1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions, and neither do we.
1. The relationship is never going to be like it was the first two months we were going out. Get over it. And quit whining to your girlfriends.
1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
1. We are not mind readers and we never will be. Our lack of mind-reading ability is not proof of how little we care about you.
1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," we will act like nothing\'s wrong. We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.
1. If you ask a question you don\'t want an answer to, expect an answer you don\'t want to hear.
1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine. Really.
1. Don\'t ask us what we\'re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
1. You have enough clothes.
1. You have too many shoes.
1. Foreign films are best left to foreigners. (Unless it\'s Bruce Lee or some war flick where it doesn\'t really matter what the hell they\'re saying anyway.)
1. It is neither in your best interest or ours to take the quiz together. No, it doesn\'t matter which quiz.
1. BEER is as exciting for us as handbags are for you.
1. Thank you for reading this; Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight, but did you know we really don\'t mind that, it\'s like camping.
1. I\'m in shape. ROUND is a shape.
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Originally posted by Kaldertaut
1. Don\'t ask us what we\'re thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as navel lint, the shotgun formation, or monster trucks.
daisy knows this one well.
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Kaldertaut for president!!!
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I hope my girlfriend reads this. While I was reading I could see an example for each rule in my relationship!
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I\'ve been wearing the same clothes for three years...
j/k;)
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Wait....what\'s rule nr.2?
:p
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HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
WOW thats perfect, i hope you dont mind copying and pasting and sending this to people(girls), ok.....you dont?.......cool
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Amen to that.
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LOL that was some funny Shyzt. :laughing:
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1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You\'re a big girl. If it\'s up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don\'t hear us *****ing about you leaving it down.
Fine, you can sit in your own piss when you forget to leave the toilet seat down and you need to take a dump.
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Originally posted by Rya
Fine, you can sit in your own piss when you forget to leave the toilet seat down and you need to take a dump.
Um, I hardly think anyone would forget to take it down. :)
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Originally posted by Samwise
Um, I hardly think anyone would forget to take it down. :)
I bet you never had a need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, didn\'t want to blind yourself by turning on the light, and then sitting down on the toilet seat that\'s supposed to be there. This is the reason why my dad has his own bathroom, leaving another bathroom for me and my sisters and mom to use. :)
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Originally posted by Rya
I bet you never had a need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, didn\'t want to blind yourself by turning on the light, and then sitting down on the toilet seat that\'s supposed to be there. :)
I always turn on the light and put the toilet seat down, regardless of what state I\'m in or what time it is. :)
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Originally posted by Rya
I bet you never had a need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, didn\'t want to blind yourself by turning on the light, and then sitting down on the toilet seat that\'s supposed to be there. This is the reason why my dad has his own bathroom, leaving another bathroom for me and my sisters and mom to use. :)
I dont think Ive ever had to take a dump in the middle of the night...
Either way I turn on the light when i have to go in the middle of the night. I gotta get my aim down.
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The only reason I need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night is to grab some toilet paper :D
j/k ;)
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Originally posted by Rya
I bet you never had a need to use the bathroom in the middle of the night, didn\'t want to blind yourself by turning on the light, and then sitting down on the toilet seat that\'s supposed to be there. This is the reason why my dad has his own bathroom, leaving another bathroom for me and my sisters and mom to use. :)
Weee use........SUNGLASSES:fro: