PSX5Central

Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: videoholic on December 24, 2002, 11:32:36 AM

Title: Dear Santa
Post by: videoholic on December 24, 2002, 11:32:36 AM
If Santa answered his mail honestly
Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud
boy all yeer.
Yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You\'re on your way to a career in lawn care.
How about I send you a freaking book so you can learn to
read and write? I\'m giving your older brother the space
ranger. At least HE can spell!
Santa
----------
Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for
is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn\'t they?
Santa
----------
Dear Santa,
I don\'t know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I\'d like for
my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see
what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad\'s banging the babysitter like a screen door in
a hurricane. Do you think he\'s gonna give that up to come
back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It\'s
time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos
instead.
Santa
----------
Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love, Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer fart in my
face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a favor?
Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa
----------
Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you
busy making toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in Vegas,
where I spend most of my time making low-budget porno
films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and squeezing the
asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at the craps
table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa
----------
Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we\'re sleeping, do you really know
when we\'re awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do.
I\'m skipping your house.
Santa

----------
Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please
PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that
crap doesn\'t work with me. You\'re getting a sweater again.
Santa
----------
Dearest Santa,
We don\'t have a chimney in our house, how do you get into
our home?
Love, Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that\'s why you\'re getting
your ass whipped at school. Second, you don\'t live in a
house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex. Third, I get
inside your pad just like all the burglars do, through your
bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa
Title: Re: Dear Santa
Post by: Viper_Fujax on December 24, 2002, 11:40:27 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Videoholic

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for
is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn\'t they?
Santa
----------
Dear Santa,
I don\'t know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I\'d like for
my mommy and daddy to get back together. Please see
what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad\'s banging the babysitter like a screen door in
a hurricane. Do you think he\'s gonna give that up to come
back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass constantly? It\'s
time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice Legos
instead.
Santa


hahaha. These 2 are the best IMO.
Title: Dear Santa
Post by: on December 24, 2002, 11:44:03 AM
lol banging deh baby sitter like a screen door in a hurricane.. that was the best part.
Title: Dear Santa
Post by: Unicron! on December 24, 2002, 12:03:16 PM
LOL:laughing:

There is no mistake in this one either:laughing:
Title: Dear Santa
Post by: Kurt Angle on December 24, 2002, 01:06:24 PM
Funny!
Quote

Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv ben a gud
boy all yeer.
Yer Frend, BiLLy


Is Kopking\'s real name Billy by any chance?;)
Title: Dear Santa
Post by: on December 24, 2002, 08:15:24 PM
That or Jepidia.
Title: Dear Santa
Post by: Heat on December 24, 2002, 08:22:48 PM
Good stuff, takes some of the pain away.
Title: Dear Santa
Post by: Titan on December 25, 2002, 02:15:44 PM
Hehe. This is probably how Santa feels too :laughing:
Title: Dear Santa
Post by: Bobs_Hardware on December 25, 2002, 03:34:43 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Titan
Hehe. This is probably how Santa feels too :laughing:


Someone needs to have a talk with his parents.
Title: Dear Santa
Post by: Nickj119 on December 25, 2002, 04:15:28 PM
Haha!
Those are great. I loved that one about his dad banged the babysitter like a screen door in a hurricane.
Title: Dear Santa
Post by: Mr. Kennedy on December 25, 2002, 04:30:41 PM
ROFL, that says enough.