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Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Cerberus on January 01, 2003, 12:44:31 PM

Title: A joke
Post by: Cerberus on January 01, 2003, 12:44:31 PM: I got it off a friends website, I\'m sure he won\'t mind.

Mr. Jones gets a call from the hospital. They tell him his wife\'s been in a terrible car accident.

He rushes to the hospital, runs in to the ER and says his wife\'s been in an accident.

They tell him Dr. Smith is handling the case. They page the doctor. He comes out to the waiting room to see a terribly upset Mr. Jones.

"Mr. Jones?" the doctor asks. "Yes sir, what\'s happened? How is my wife?"

The doctor sits next to him and says, "Not good news. Your wife\'s accident resulted in two fractures of her spine."

"Oh my God" says Mr. Jones, "what will be her prognosis?"

"Well, Mr. Jones, her vital signs are stable. However, her spine is inoperable. She\'ll have no motor skills or capability. This means you will have to feed her."

Mr. Jones begins to sob. "And you\'ll have to turn her in her bed every two hours to prevent pneumonia."

Mr. Jones begins to wail and cry loudly.

"Then, of course," the doctor continued, "you\'ll have to diaper her as she\'ll have no control over her bladder and of course these diapers must be changed at least five times a day."

Mr. Jones begins to shake as he cries, sobs, wails.

The doctor continues: "And you\'ll have to clean up her feces on a regular basis as she\'ll have no control over her sphincter. Her bowel will engorge whenever and quite often I\'m afraid. Of course you must clean her immediately to avoid accumulation of the putrid effluent she\'ll be emitting regularly."

Now Mr. Jones is convulsing sobbing uncontrollably and beginning to wither off the bench into a sobbing pitiful mass.

Just then Dr. Smith reaches out his hand and pats Mr. Jones on the shoulder. "Hey, I\'m just f*cking with you. She\'s dead."
Title: A joke
Post by: Metal Gear on January 01, 2003, 01:06:52 PM: Lame joke.
Title: A joke
Post by: on January 01, 2003, 01:37:12 PM: Am I suppose to laugh?

Brought a smile to my face.
Title: A joke
Post by: SER on January 02, 2003, 05:37:37 AM: I thought it was funny. :laughing:
Title: A joke
Post by: Tyrant on January 02, 2003, 05:49:22 AM: ^^me too
Title: A joke
Post by: Unicron! on January 02, 2003, 06:45:16 AM: Funny but not as funny as the other ones:)
Title: A joke
Post by: videoholic on January 02, 2003, 08:27:15 AM: Me likey.. :D
Title: A joke
Post by: Darth Joyda on January 02, 2003, 09:25:05 AM: I quess that\'s one way to ease the sorrow...

Not bad - but not very good either.
Title: A joke
Post by: Kurt Angle on January 02, 2003, 10:14:55 AM: HA HA HAAA!
Title: A joke
Post by: square_marker on January 02, 2003, 01:05:49 PM: Well, i would laugh if my Father didnt tell that joke everytime we have a family get together.
Title: A joke
Post by: on January 02, 2003, 01:12:58 PM: :laughing: my grandma says the same joke everytime too : Why did the chicken cross the road? To get the chinese newspaper, get it? ( Then we say "No, grandma :rolleyes: ) Either do I, I get the Juneau Empire! BAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH *cough*

The juneau empire is the local paper.
Title: A joke
Post by: Jar O Pickles on January 02, 2003, 01:43:21 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Spudz
:

The juneau empire is the local paper.

thats a badass name for a newspaper
all newspapers should have badass names like the anchorage dessimator or the milwaukee communist dictatorship
Title: A joke
Post by: Bossieman on January 02, 2003, 01:46:30 PM: Love it. More..
Title: A joke
Post by: luckee on January 02, 2003, 01:49:53 PM: made me smile.
Title: A joke
Post by: Titan on January 02, 2003, 01:51:42 PM: I didn\'t find it completely funny. Got a smirk out of me but thats it.
Title: A joke
Post by: on January 02, 2003, 01:53:54 PM: Quote
Originally posted by Jar O Pickles

thats a badass name for a newspaper
all newspapers should have badass names like the anchorage dessimator or the milwaukee communist dictatorship

Achorage Daily I believe.

I\'m gonna make a thread about it :D
Title: A joke
Post by: dragon master on January 05, 2003, 02:23:15 PM: not the best
Title: A joke
Post by: Cerberus on January 05, 2003, 04:28:55 PM: Quote
Originally posted by dragon master
not the best

Well, coming from you, I\'ll take that as a compliment. You hate GTA VC as well, and that\'s a top rate game.

Thanks for the comliment.
Title: A joke
Post by: Titan on January 05, 2003, 06:48:15 PM: We need to initiate him into the forums. Where\'s theomen when you need him :D
Title: A joke
Post by: Jesus on January 05, 2003, 07:47:40 PM: Yeah I heard it two ears ago. It is too long and not funny enough.
It sucked.
Title: A joke
Post by: kopking on January 06, 2003, 12:08:42 PM: didnt see the twist at the end, sick, but funny
Title: A joke
Post by: Cyrus on January 08, 2003, 08:25:53 AM: :nut: whats the worse part of eating vegetables ............ getting em back in their wheelchairs