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Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: luckee on June 01, 2004, 01:58:38 PM

Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: luckee on June 01, 2004, 01:58:38 PM
*scopes around the room* (will make sense later)




1. What\'s the Cuban national anthem?
Row, Row, Row Your Boat"

2. Where does an Irish family go on vacation?
A different bar.

3. Did you hear about the Chinese couple that had a retarded baby?
They named him "Sum Ting Wong."

4. What would you call it when an Italian has one arm shorter than the other?
 A speech impediment

5. What does it mean when the flag at the Post Office is flying at half-mast?
They\'re hiring.

6. Why aren\'t there any Puerto Ricans on Star Trek?
Because they\'re not going to work in the future either

7. What do you call an Arkansas farmer with a sheep under each arm?
A pimp.

8. Why do drivers\' education classes in Redneck schools use the cars only on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays?
Because on Tuesday and Thursday, the Sex Ed class uses it.

9. What\'s the difference between a southern zoo and a northern zoo?
A southern zoo has a description of the animal on the front of the cage, along with a recipe.

10. How do you get a sweet little 80-year-old lady to say the F word?
Get another sweet little 80-year-old lady to yell *BINGO*!

11. What\'s the difference between a northern fairytale and a southern fairytale?
A northern fairytale begins "Once upon a time..." A southern fairytale begins "Y\'all ain\'t gonna believe this shit..."

12. My, my, how times have changed. Years ago...When 100 white men chased 1 black man, we called it the KluKluxKlan; Today they call it the PGA TOUR.

13 . Why is there no Disneyland in China?
No one\'s tall enough to go on the good rides

14. What does that dot on the Indian guys head mean at the 7-11?
It means the coffee is ready

15. how many germans does it take to screw in a light bulb?
doesnt matter, they dont use easy bake ovens anyways....

16.There was this little guy sitting in a bar, drinking his beer, minding his own business when all of a sudden this great big dude comes in and -- WHACK!! -- knocks him off the bar stool and onto the floor.

The big dude says, "That was a karate chop from Korea."

The little guy thinks "GEEZ," but he gets back up on the stool and starts drinking again when all of a sudden -- WHACK!! -- the big dude knocks him down AGAIN.

This time he says, "That was a judo chop from Japan."

So the little guy has had enough of this... He gets up, brushes himself off and quietly leaves. The little guy is gone for an hour or so when he returns.

Without saying a word, he walks up behind the big dude and -- WHAM!!!" -- knocks the big dude off his stool, knocking him out cold!!! The little guy looks at the bartender and says, "When he gets up, tell him that\'s a crowbar from Sears.

17. An old jew is dying and is at his deathbed calling to his family.
"Sarah, my wife... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I\'m here my love", she replies.
"Judith, My daugther... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I\'m here father", she replies.
"David, my son... Are You Here ?", he asks.
"I\'m here father", he replies.
Then old Jew asks: "Then who in the hell is minding the store ?"

18. What do you call a black wearing a suit?
The accused!

19. What do you get if you cross a Mexican with a black?
A guy who is too lazy to steal!

20. Why did Hitler kill himself?
The Jews sent him a gas bill!

21. How was the Grand Canyon formed?
A Jew dropped a penny down a manhole!

22. Why do Jews have big noses?
Because the air is free!

23. What do you call ten Jewish bitches in a basement?
A whine cellar!

24. What do you get if you put 30 Iraqi women in a bomb shelter?
A full set of teeth!

25. What do Hiroshima, Nagasaki and Kabul have in common?
The USA have bombed the shit out of all of them!

26. What do Israeli soldiers do when they get bored?
They go over to the West Bank and the Gaza Strip and get stoned!

27. How can you tell if a kid is half black and half Irish?
He is running down the street with your bike in his arms!

28. Why do Welsh horses run so fast?
Because they have seen what the farmers do to the sheep!

29. Did you hear about the homosexual Red Indian?
He was a brave sucker!

30. What\'s long and hard that a Greek bride get\'s on her wedding night?
A new last name!

31. Have you heard of the worlds smallest books?
\'Irish wit and wisdom\'
\'Jewish business ethics\'
\'Italian War heroes\'
\'Negroes I have met while yachting\'






How does every ethnic joke start?
By looking over your shoulder!
Title: Re: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Luke on June 01, 2004, 02:48:43 PM
Quote
Originally posted by luckee

\'Negroes I have met while yachting\'






 




HA!
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: ROL Jamas on June 01, 2004, 03:31:48 PM
Haha, that was my favorite, too :)

Who Yachts, anyway? :-P

See Yuz.
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Halberto on June 01, 2004, 04:05:15 PM
Tiger Woods isnt himself lately.

WHITEY RULZ
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: theomen on June 01, 2004, 07:06:10 PM
I yacht and have sex with many black women...does that count?
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Unicron! on June 01, 2004, 07:33:32 PM
where is Cyprus? :p
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Ashford on June 01, 2004, 07:53:58 PM
I don\'t get it...
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: theomen on June 01, 2004, 09:47:09 PM
As Americans we don\'t care about a country until we bomb it, so you better hop we don\'t know where you are ;)
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Unicron! on June 02, 2004, 12:46:05 AM
Actually I ment it doesnt say anything about Cypriots so I am not offended.

I can show you a map if you want though :p

I ll give you the signal when to bomb it when I move to  another country.Ofocurse if you hate me I ll give you the map AFTER I leave :p
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: GmanJoe on June 02, 2004, 04:08:20 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Unicron!
Actually I ment it doesnt say anything about Cypriots so I am not offended.



What? There are plenty of jokes about Cypriots! But we abbreviate it by calling you all "idiots". BWAHAHA! :laughing:
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Kurt Angle on June 02, 2004, 07:06:44 AM
:laughing:

Those are great!
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Seed_Of_Evil on June 02, 2004, 08:04:21 AM
Quote
Originally posted by theomen
As Americans we don\'t care about a country until we bomb it, so you better hop we don\'t know where you are ;)


LOL :D
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Unicron! on June 02, 2004, 08:07:41 AM
:laughing:

well say a few that make cypriots idiots.I am curious.You porbably dont know the real reasons why cypriots are idiots :D
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: luckee on June 02, 2004, 08:25:03 AM
Incest?
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Cyrus on June 02, 2004, 08:39:32 AM
Beastlialty?
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Unicron! on June 02, 2004, 08:50:43 AM
LOL incest?nah.
As for beastiality its true( :laughing: ) in some rare occasions in some redneck villages.But rare :laughing:
I ve heard about a few occasions.
But it doesnt mean this doesnt happen in the USA as well.You ve got rednecks too ;)
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Sublimesjg on June 02, 2004, 08:56:24 AM
small male penises?
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: GmanJoe on June 02, 2004, 09:10:38 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Unicron!
LOL incest?nah.
As for beastiality its true( :laughing: ) in some rare occasions in some redneck villages.But rare :laughing:
I ve heard about a few occasions.
But it doesnt mean this doesnt happen in the USA as well.You ve got rednecks too ;)


You guys are goat and sheep molestors. :p And being on an island so small, all of you are related. Hence....incest is the national game the whole family can play. :p :laughing:
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Unicron! on June 02, 2004, 09:32:13 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Sublimesjg
small male penises?


You actually saw cypriots\' penises? :D
You seeked our DICKS?? OMG :eek:

Sublimesjg is GAY!  :ghey:

j/k :)


Quote
Originally posted by GmanJoe
You guys are goat and sheep molestors. :p And being on an island so small, all of you are related. Hence....incest is the national game the whole family can play. :p :laughing:


We check people\'s family tree, identity, files etc before having sex to avoid incest :D
Actually we use the goats and sheep in redneck villages to keep them occupied there so they wouldnt spread :D
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Ashford on June 02, 2004, 10:05:32 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Sublimesjg
small male penises?


As opposed to what?
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: politiepet on June 02, 2004, 10:12:45 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Ashford
As opposed to what?


big female penises of course :rolleyes: haha
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: CHIZZY on June 03, 2004, 09:58:08 AM
unicorn\'s family tree doesn\'t branch.

what is the Cypriot Army\'s motto?

Never leave your buddy\'s behind.



:D
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Lord Nicon on June 03, 2004, 02:16:08 PM
What does a white woman make for dinner?
Reservations

What does a white woman and a tampon have in common?
They\'re both stuck up cu**s.

How many white people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white people will screw anything.

What\'s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl\'s ass!

There arent enough of them, so i had to contribute
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: luckee on June 03, 2004, 04:02:09 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Lord Nicon


What\'s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl\'s ass!

 


Thats so true for the most part. lol
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: CHIZZY on June 04, 2004, 10:54:38 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Lord Nicon
What does a white woman make for dinner?
Reservations

What does a white woman and a tampon have in common?
They\'re both stuck up cu**s.

How many white people does it take to screw in a lightbulb?
One, white people will screw anything.

What\'s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl\'s ass!

There arent enough of them, so i had to contribute



hee hee...

Why did god invent the orgasm?
So black people would know when to stop f*cking!
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Titan on June 04, 2004, 11:35:42 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Lord Nicon
What\'s the flattest surface to iron your jeans on?
A white girl\'s ass!


The majority of the white girls in my school don\'t have flat asses. Infact, a lot are really nice :jack:
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: luckee on June 04, 2004, 01:12:21 PM
The white girls of your age group are starting the exception. Must be the food. Look at who was hot int he 70\'s and 80\'s...no ass to be found at all. Ass didnt start to make an appearance untill mid 90\'s for the most part.

Also depends on your definition of ass.
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Lord Nicon on June 04, 2004, 02:10:43 PM
Quote
Originally posted by CHIZZY
hee hee...

Why did god invent the orgasm?
So black people would know when to stop f*cking!

Stamina boyee... heh heh.

Yeah this gen of white gurls turned out to be quite a different story than the 70 and 80\'s. Especially the 70s...Damn. Kay Parker? Eeewww....

Thats not to say that the curse of the flat ass is nonexistent. This was the TRUE purpose of integration. One thick (mixed)white booty created an epidemic. The white man wins again.

 j/k ;)
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: clips on June 07, 2004, 10:19:44 AM
Quote
Originally posted by luckee
The white girls of your age group are starting the exception. Must be the food. Look at who was hot int he 70\'s and 80\'s...no ass to be found at all. Ass didnt start to make an appearance untill mid 90\'s for the most part.

Also depends on your definition of ass.


naw it\'s just me...i\'m goin\' around slayin these white chics with my massive clip, and shapin and moldin\' that a$$ while i\'m at it..;)
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: CHIZZY on June 07, 2004, 11:12:27 AM
Just remember...asses only get bigger as bitches get older.....
Title: Something to offend damn near everyone.
Post by: Lord Nicon on June 07, 2004, 02:31:32 PM
Quote
Originally posted by CHIZZY
Just remember...asses only get bigger as bitches get older.....

No. I think its...asses only get LONGER as bitches get older.....:stick: nasty