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Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: videoholic on June 13, 2004, 04:18:06 PM

Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: videoholic on June 13, 2004, 04:18:06 PM
Just got this one in the email..



President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn\'t that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"

The bartender says, "Yep, that\'s them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We\'re planning WW III."

And the guy says, "Really? What\'s going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we\'re going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big boobs.

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big boobs? Why kill a blonde with big boobs?"

Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Unicron! on June 13, 2004, 04:22:23 PM
hehe nice one but I ve heard it before;)
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: videoholic on June 13, 2004, 05:06:34 PM
Thanks Mr. Non Joke teller.
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Ashford on June 13, 2004, 06:26:24 PM
:laughing:
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Bladez on June 13, 2004, 06:44:24 PM
What do you call the extra skin around a women\'s vagina?


Girl
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: ooseven on June 14, 2004, 03:55:07 AM
Did you hear that UEFA want David Beckam to do the announcements during the Euro 2004 tournament ?

Yeah apparently they over heard that he “comes across nicely over the PA” ;)
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: §ôµÏG®ïñD on June 14, 2004, 04:00:15 AM
What’s Michael Jackson and Santa got in common?  

They both leave children’s rooms with empty sacks..




probably been done before.. but what hasn\'t.
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: politiepet on June 14, 2004, 05:03:06 AM
Quote
Originally posted by videoholic
Just got this one in the email..



President Bush and Colin Powell are sitting in a bar. A guy walks in and asks the bartender, "Isn\'t that Bush and Powell sitting over there?"

The bartender says, "Yep, that\'s them."

So the guy walks over and says, "Wow, this is a real honor. What are you guys doing in here?"

Bush says, "We\'re planning WW III."

And the guy says, "Really? What\'s going to happen?"

Bush says, "Well, we\'re going to kill 140 million Iraqis this time and one blonde with big boobs.

The guy exclaimed, "A blonde with big boobs? Why kill a blonde with big boobs?"

Bush turns to Powell, punches him on the shoulder and says, "See, smart ass! I told you no one would worry about the 140 million Iraqis!"


make that 15 million Iraqi\'s, that\'s about all they got
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Unicron! on June 14, 2004, 05:24:51 AM
Quote
Originally posted by videoholic
Thanks Mr. Non Joke teller.



No prob man
:p
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: GmanJoe on June 14, 2004, 05:27:20 AM
Quote
Originally posted by politiepet
make that 15 million Iraqi\'s, that\'s about all they got


Crikey. You need to stay in the Political Forum permanently.
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: politiepet on June 14, 2004, 10:07:44 AM
Quote
Originally posted by GmanJoe
Crikey. You need to stay in the Political Forum permanently.


don\'t take everything I say seriously, I just like being an ass ;)
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: MPTheory on June 14, 2004, 10:21:03 AM
A guy walked into a bar and hit his head
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Jar O Pickles on June 14, 2004, 10:29:15 AM
Quote
Originally posted by ooseven
Did you hear that UEFA want David Beckam to do the announcements during the Euro 2004 tournament ?

Yeah apparently they over heard that he “comes across nicely over the PA” ;)

i think i speak for alot of people when i say
"ummmm... I don\'t get it"
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: ooseven on June 14, 2004, 10:59:17 AM
Quote
Originally posted by Jar O Pickles
i think i speak for alot of people when i say
"ummmm... I don\'t get it"



PA as in the loud speaker system or as in PA = Personal Assistant


 David Beckham was alleged to be having an affair with his PA = personal assistant in spain while his wife was in England.

David Beckam is a footballer BTW...;)

-------
New joke

What Michael Jackson song is based on one of his favourite was of relaxing ?

“I’m for ever blowing bubbles”
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: GmanJoe on June 14, 2004, 11:40:25 AM
Why did Michael Jackson call Boyz to Men?

He thought they were a delivery service! teehee!
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Ashford on June 14, 2004, 11:56:01 AM
Why will this thread die?

Cause all the other jokes suck...
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Unicron! on June 14, 2004, 12:00:08 PM
The thread\'s doomed.Not a single good joke :D
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Eiksirf on June 14, 2004, 12:27:24 PM
Three marines were driving up the highway between Basra and Baghdad when they came upon an Iraqi insurgent who was badly injured and unconscious. On the opposite side of the road was an injured American soldier who was semiconscious. As the Marines gave both men first aid, they asked what had happened.

The American said, "I was moving north along the highway when I ran into this guy, We pointed our guns at each other and I said, \'Saddam Hussein is an asshole.\' Then he yelled, \'George Bush is an asshole!\'"

...

"We were standing there shaking hands when a truck hit us."

-Dan
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: CHIZZY on June 14, 2004, 01:01:47 PM
What do you call a white guy surrounded by 300 black guys?

Warden.

What do you call a black guy surrounded by 300 white guys?

Tiger Woods.


Truth is, thanks to the interweb, there are no more jokes.
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: ooseven on June 14, 2004, 01:28:55 PM
What do you call a Glaswegian (some on from Glasgow ;) ) in a smart suit ?

The Accused


What do you Aberdonian (someone from Aberdeen) with a sheep under each arm..

A Pimp
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Unicron! on June 14, 2004, 01:49:32 PM
Any hebrew jokes?Anyone? :p
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: kopking on June 14, 2004, 01:52:27 PM
some are sad, some are funy, liked the chizzys one!! wooo
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Ashford on June 14, 2004, 03:11:29 PM
Quote
Originally posted by Unicron!
Any hebrew jokes?Anyone? :p


What would Santa say if he were Jewish?

"Ho Ho Ho, wanna buy some toys?"
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: clips on June 17, 2004, 03:45:21 PM
these have been heard before and are meant to have a drum roll at the end of each joke...

-your mother mouth so big, when she smile her ears get wet..

-your mother so dumb, when she worked at the m&m factory, she threw away the w\'s...

- your mother so dumb, when i told her it was chilly outside, she went and got a spoon..
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: SER on June 17, 2004, 06:37:23 PM
Wanna hear a long joke?


JOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOKE!



HAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHA
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Titan on June 18, 2004, 09:24:33 AM
*smacks SER upside the head*
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: CHIZZY on June 18, 2004, 09:33:59 AM
How do you make a Jewish girl scream...twice?

F*ck her in the ass, then wipe your d*ck on the drapes.
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Bladez on June 18, 2004, 06:01:23 PM
/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\:laughing:
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Titan on June 18, 2004, 06:08:47 PM
Chiz speaks from experiance :p
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Unicron! on June 19, 2004, 02:08:50 AM
Yeah he screamed twice :D
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: §ôµÏG®ïñD on June 19, 2004, 12:05:05 PM
Read this next one carefully. If you have a brain you may get it. Read it out loud to yourself.


Why does michael jackson like 21 year olds.


Because theres 20 of them.  ;)
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: square_marker on June 19, 2004, 12:10:49 PM
Following soulgrinds lead, read this out loud...

"I am sofa king we todd edd."

Now give a chuckle.
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Soul Reaver on June 19, 2004, 12:21:46 PM
ATHF

Heh

That was a good one.
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Titan on June 19, 2004, 03:50:13 PM
I said it to myself like 10 times and I don\'t get soulys. :(
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: clips on June 19, 2004, 03:58:40 PM
^^ you scarin me there titan...let me help... twenty..1 yr olds..get it? ;)
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Titan on June 19, 2004, 05:10:07 PM
Quote
Originally posted by clips
^^ you scarin me there titan...let me help... twenty..1 yr olds..get it? ;)


Oh. Hehehehe. Got it :thumb:
Title: Gimme a joke
Post by: Zolar on June 19, 2004, 07:59:59 PM
Why did Moses and the Jews wander the desert for 400 years?


Somebody lost a Penny!