PSX5Central
Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Titan on June 29, 2004, 06:28:14 PM
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This came to me a couple hours ago. You are at a friends house and suddenly need to take a crap. You go into the bathroom and finish letting the log loose. You look over to the wall and notice there is no toilet paper on the rack. There are no reserve rolls anywhere in the bathroom. What do you do?
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Time to use a magazine, or suck it up and have a case of the itchy ass.
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Or find a towel and start whiping...
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Originally posted by Bladez
Or find a towel and start whiping...
Dude that is so wrong. If a friend of mine did that, i would whoop his ass. My towels arent cheap damnit.
It depends on my relationship with the person. I might say something like "Hey! Theres no toilet paper you asshole, bring me some!" Heh. Probably not. I think i just sucked it up and went to find another bathroom that did.
You could do that or check for tissue or something. I hate that nasty ass feeling. Ugh.
*this is all assuming that you dont think your friend would be to keen on you taking a crap in his turdlet*
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stay there for hours and let the remaining s**t dry up on that ass then get up and let the tint crumbs fall into your shorts..or wipe you ass with your underwear then throw them out ;)
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Originally posted by Lord Nicon
Dude that is so wrong. If a friend of mine did that, i would whoop his ass. My towels arent cheap damnit.
Same here man.
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Well shit I would I\'d just throw the towel out too cause I\'d find the shittiest(no pun intended)one and start away. That or get some kleenexes if they\'re in there.
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How about a toilet brush?
Or perhaps a tooth brush?
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Or hop in the shower to scrub your crack clean...
DUH!
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These are some pretty creative responses. I probably would have just asked my friend for some toilet paper or use tissues if they were there. I like the shower thing though.
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Thats exactly what i was going to say. I Never really thought of that one.
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Kind of reminds me of when in Me Myself and Irene when Jim Carrey is on the sink cleaning out his butt.
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Originally posted by Lord Nicon
Dude that is so wrong. If a friend of mine did that, i would whoop his ass. My towels arent cheap damnit.
It depends on my relationship with the person. I might say something like "Hey! Theres no toilet paper you asshole, bring me some!" Heh. Probably not. I think i just sucked it up and went to find another bathroom that did.
You could do that or check for tissue or something. I hate that nasty ass feeling. Ugh.
*this is all assuming that you dont think your friend would be to keen on you taking a crap in his turdlet*
Exactly what I would have done.Including everything he said
Oh an btw.For the shower part.In Saudi Arabia in public toilets they have a shower to clean your ass.Sometimes not even a toilet paper.Just the shower. :p
Disgusting .Thank god I never happened to have the need to poop in any of these toilets
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Some have a thing like a drinking fountain that comes up and washes your ass. Kind of cool really. Saves me time and money.
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Originally posted by Ashford
Or hop in the shower to scrub your crack clean...
DUH!
:werd:
Thats what I\'d do.
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Originally posted by Titan
Some have a thing like a drinking fountain that comes up and washes your ass. Kind of cool really. Saves me time and money.
Is that really what it is used for? I see it when they tour the rich folks house.
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I believe its called a \'budette\' (spelling? I know thats brutally wrong). They\'re everywhere in Europe, I had one in Germany and Italy. :)
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Do it like the Ay-rabs.... wipe your ass with ur hand and rub it on the wall
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Depends on the type of shit. Is it a messy, squirty one? Or is it a clean log? If it\'s a clean log, why bother wiping? I never do!
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Originally posted by SwifDi
I believe its called a \'budette\' (spelling? I know thats brutally wrong). They\'re everywhere in Europe, I had one in Germany and Italy. :)
It\'s called a bidette, and I must say that I lived longer in europe then you lived at all, but I\'ve never actually seen one.
btw. in Marocco they use their hands (no seriously) to clean their anusses and simply wash them afterwards (duh), not that that would be my solution ;)
let\'s make it more interesting.....
your girlfriend (4 year relationship) is going away for 3 years. At the trainstation were you\'re dropping here of, she throws a handkerchief (sp?) out the window as her train is starting to move. You pick it up ofcourse, knowing that it\'s the last thing reminding you of her. Afterwards you go to the toilet, find out there\'s no paper etc etc, .....what do you do? ;)
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Here\'s a shit story: During Christian camp where we were helping to rennovate poor people\'s houses there was one really hot chick on our crew, all the guys were oogling here and such. One day she goes inside the house we are working on, I have to go to the bathroom so I go too. It turns out she has to use the bathroom as well but she doesn\'t notice me follow her. She closes and locks the door while I wait.
Do you dare me to finish? Tune in next time you :ghey:\'s
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THey had a bidette in a hotel we went to a couple weeks ago. I didn\'t use it, but Logan did. He wouldn\'t pee in the toilet. He would only pee in the bidette.
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Originally posted by THX
Here\'s a shit story: During Christian camp where we were helping to rennovate poor people\'s houses there was one really hot chick on our crew, all the guys were oogling here and such. One day she goes inside the house we are working on, I have to go to the bathroom so I go too. It turns out she has to use the bathroom as well but she doesn\'t notice me follow her. She closes and locks the door while I wait.
Do you dare me to finish? Tune in next time you :ghey:\'s
sooo, what? did she have the smelliest shiat or something? or is some story where you bang some chick in the bathroom? where are you going with this story?
BTW, I would never leave a bathroom without wiping my ass. thats nasty. Id probably use a washcloth or something and then toss that biatch!
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What\'s wrong with shouting out for your friend to leave a fresh bog roll outside the bathroom door?
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This happened to me while I was in Manila. I had to use their out house that had no TP or water.
I used my hankerchief(sp?).
I walk over to the owner of the restaurant and ask for a bucket of water and a cup so I can wash my ass. Seems to be a common thing in the Philippines.
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Originally posted by THX
Here\'s a shit story: During Christian camp
Remember when Swif posted a story about Christian camp? :p
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Originally posted by Titan
Some have a thing like a drinking fountain that comes up and washes your ass. Kind of cool really. Saves me time and money.
Yeah i had one in my old house. Kinda weird if you ask me. Its not like a spray either, its fairly strong (i guess it would have to be) but having a jet of water fly up your ass is a... different experience. I mean, you have to whipe twice. I dont know about the people that use them on a regular bassis but are you supposed to let all the left overs run down or wipe twice or what?
IDK.
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If it\'s your friend, I don\'t see how yelling for some toilet paper would be a bad thing. I\'m sure he has one of those massive costco bags somewhere in the house like a towel closet or something that\'s full of TP to hand to you. Not that difficult.
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But very embarassing for some people...I\'d take a chance with using a towel then attempt to dispose of the evidence in the laundry shoot/bin.
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and you people thought your gpa was weird for carrying a hankie didn\'t you?
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Originally posted by Jumpman
But very embarassing for some people...I\'d take a chance with using a towel then attempt to dispose of the evidence in the laundry shoot/bin.
I think the friend would notice that there is a big brown stain in his towel when he goes to do a load of laundry.
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What\'s wrong with wiping your ass with your underwear and then just throwing them away and freeball?
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I hate going commando. That shit is damn uncomfortable. Screw that.
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Originally posted by Titan
I think the friend would notice that there is a big brown stain in his towel when he goes to do a load of laundry.
What if it\'s a brown towel! Or any dark coloured one...I don\'t know but I think it could get past him. Especially if he doesn\'t do the laundry ie wife/gf/parents in some situations.
Another thing I\'d do...leave it on the ass and tell him I\'m leaving.
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LOL. Bastards stealing towels. You better return that.
And the towel would smell like shit. If my parents or somebody questioned me about a shit stained towel id still beat my friends ass for making me explain it and for not telling me. Id rather give them toilet paper from another bathroom than have to find out that way.
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And I thought OffTopic.com had shitty topics.
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But very embarassing for some people...
Why? It would be embarrassing moreso for your friend for not stocking up their bathroom properly. I mean, think about what they would do if they were home alone... they\'d hop, pants down, to get more toilet paper and then return to the bathroom after they did that. I just don\'t see the embarrassment factor...
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LOL :laughing:
OMG!!The bidette wasnt designed for cleaning your asses in mind!! :laughing:
its mainly for women to clean their vagina area!!
edit: or is it for cleaning your asses as well hmmm :confused:
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STOP YELLING AT ME!
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:laughing: :laughing: good one
I edited it. :p is it ok now? :p
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much better, it was just too loud earlier
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:laughing:
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Bidette is for cleaning assholes dood.
Sorry I ended my story I had to go out the door. Anyways it ended up with me waiting for 5min or so, she came out looked at me all embarassed and left. I was like ok.... I went in and it smelled gross. So it is TRUE that girls, especially hot ones, take shits.
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assholes buddy. It\'s not good to shoot watter up the nanny.
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Originally posted by Ryu
Why? It would be embarrassing moreso for your friend for not stocking up their bathroom properly. I mean, think about what they would do if they were home alone... they\'d hop, pants down, to get more toilet paper and then return to the bathroom after they did that. I just don\'t see the embarrassment factor...
In the end, you\'d be walking out there with shit on your ass and I think that\'s a little embarassing. No one needs that conversation it\'s unneccessary.
-I need toilet paper
--Why
-There\'s none left.
--Did you?...
-Yes.
--So you have?...
-Yes.
--Ok be right back.
Ick frightening occurance.
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wtf? everybody takes a shit, why would you be embarrased about it?
Are you the type of person who looks around suspiciously when buying paper in the supermarket, hoping no one notices? :eek:
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No but when you funk up somebody else\'s bathroom its another thing. Not to mention that you didnt tell and/or you didnt plan on doing so. So by asking for some toilet paper you blow your cover. Like i said before, it all depends on your relationship with that person but i guess this sort of think doesnt live in your world.
Im just saying that some people get touchy about that shit. Especially if they clog your toilet up. Uhg. I mean there are some people who have dirty friends including myself that would let them use it but would rather them use the turdlet before they bring their funky asses over to my house.
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Well, I would logically shout it from the bathroom.
"Hey dude, can you do me a favor and bring me some toilet paper, there\'s none in here."
They\'ll bring it to the door, drop it off, you open it, grab it, and proceed to wipe. If your shit stinks, that\'s life. Whatever. I guess I\'m just a person who doesn\'t care if someone has to do their required business in my house or not and doesn\'t feel embarrassed in pointing out that I use toilet paper to wipe my ass and would like some if there\'s none in the bathroom to do the wiping with.
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I guess I\'m the kind of person who avoids everything. Avoids speaking with relatives, avoids doing homework/assignments until it\'s late, avoids any potentially weird situation like running out of toilet paper in someone\'s yes etc. I figure if no one knows about it, then no one is harmed.
Years of therapy to ensue I\'m sure.
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Originally posted by Ryu
Well, I would logically shout it from the bathroom.
"Hey dude, can you do me a favor and bring me some toilet paper, there\'s none in here."
They\'ll bring it to the door, drop it off, you open it, grab it, and proceed to wipe.
I said this earlier
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Originally posted by Ashford
Or hop in the shower to scrub your crack clean...
DUH!
So what do you tell your friend when suddenly he hears a SHOWER turn on?
I climb up onto the sink and try and squeeze my ass all up in it so I can say I was washing my hands.
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How aboout you use the faucet, without turning the water on?
Just wipe the shit onto the cold steel and leave it there for the next poor sap to wash their hands?
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:laughing: ^This guy^
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Originally posted by Jumpman
I guess I\'m the kind of person who avoids everything. Avoids speaking with relatives, avoids doing homework/assignments until it\'s late, avoids any potentially weird situation like running out of toilet paper in someone\'s yes etc. I figure if no one knows about it, then no one is harmed.
Years of therapy to ensue I\'m sure.
eek.... you just described me....
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Well this would never happen to me seriously I always check the TP for my bunghole supply before giving birth.
Stranded stranded on a toilet bowl.
Stranded stranded without a roll.
to really prove your a man you must, wipe it with your hand.
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That could happen and then just wash your hands really really good.
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I dont think I have ever taken a Shiat at a friend\'s house. I always wait to get home. I\'ll go at work if I have to, but there are like 6 bathrooms in our office, and I use one that is away from everyone else. There are 2 bathrooms in the breakroom/kitchen thats almost directly accross from my office. I can\'t STAND it when someone takes a crap in the breakroom bathrooms. There\'s nothing worse than smelling someone elses shiat when you go to open the fridge...
When I was living with my ex fiance, it took me about a month to get used to the fact that I had to crap with her in the house. And if she came in to the bathroom while I was peeing, it was like an instant blockage... I dont know why, but as soon as I saw her, it was like someone turned off the switch.
so I did what any sane person would naturally do... Called off the wedding! JK
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MP i guess your not into golden showers then are you?? :)
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growse!!! cant say that having someone piss on me is my thang.
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I have twin bros that are 15. They had some girls over the other day and one went into the restroom before leaving. Everyone else was out in the car and I hear her yell, "hey dan can you get me some tp". I just walked to the hall closet, grabbed some and handed it through the cracked open door. It wasn\'t a big deal and I think I\'d just ask too.
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Same here... If I had to. I sure as hell wouldnt use a friggin towel! or my underwear.. Seriously people, WTF???
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Well, asking is kinda crazy but I think I could. I wouldn\'t let myself ever get in that situation though.
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Back in highschool my bestfriend ran out of toilet paper at his house once, so he just decided to leave his pants around his ankles and go out into the hallway closet and get some. While walking to it he passed a bedroom and in that bedroom was the hottest girl in the school and the poor bastard just froze there with his pants down and couldn\'t move.
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Originally posted by The Stapler
So what do you tell your friend when suddenly he hears a SHOWER turn on?
I climb up onto the sink and try and squeeze my ass all up in it so I can say I was washing my hands.
You\'re never using my bathroom.
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Originally posted by theomen
Back in highschool my bestfriend ran out of toilet paper at his house once, so he just decided to leave his pants around his ankles and go out into the hallway closet and get some. While walking to it he passed a bedroom and in that bedroom was the hottest girl in the school and the poor bastard just froze there with his pants down and couldn\'t move.
ummm, how did the hottest girl in school end up in a bedroom at his house without him knowing? That is a funny story though haha.
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Originally posted by theomen
Back in highschool my bestfriend ran out of toilet paper at his house once, so he just decided to leave his pants around his ankles and go out into the hallway closet and get some. While walking to it he passed a bedroom and in that bedroom was the hottest girl in the school and the poor bastard just froze there with his pants down and couldn\'t move.
So, did you wave, turn away and grab the toilet paper from the closet? :p
Now here\'s the question. What would you do if you ran out of toilet paper in a public bathroom?
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Reach into the next stall and take some mofo.
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Just shake what ya can then move to another stall just close your ass together.
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I once in my school had to take a shit. I walked into the bathroom and there was no toilet paper in any of the stalls. I walked out and held it for the rest of the day.
Another funny story is that I was in the lax locker room last year. I had to take a monster crap. I didn\'t want to take a dump in the locker room bathroom because it hasn\'t been cleaned since it\'s been built. It was pretty bad. There was not much tp in there anyway. I walk out and go around the school to other bathrooms. My school has a habit of locking bathrooms (I don\'t know, don\'t ask. They think it cuts down on smokers. They actually dumped like 100,000 bucks from what I hear in a bathroom. They locked it all year). Well, I walk around to other bathrooms and they were either locked or had no toilet paper (typical). I go back to the locker room, take paper towels and line the seat. I then take a bunch of paper towels, just in case. I finished on the last bit of toilet paper. I so lucked out :)
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[size=10]Honestly, who gives a shit.[/size]
Hypothetical questions are retarded, especially immature ones about feces.
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^^^
(https://psx5central.com/community/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fnamu.free.fr%2Fban_dickhead.jpg&hash=aff62031e183cdbf3d3280333a59e04a7bb96f87)
Man I wish Spudz was banned right now. Then my picture might make sense.
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lol funny story omen
My friend had this girl that really like him and she would go to extreme measures to talk to him (and she was fugly too). Anyways, his brother was a huge drug dealer and always had people coming into the house and this girls sister went to get drugs from his brother and brought her sister along, the one that basically stalked him. And at 11 at night he said he was just chillen in his boxers watchin tv in his room and she just busted in and said "Hi Danny!" and he said he screamed and started yellin at her and saying "WTF ARE U DOIN HERE?! GET THE **** OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU CRAZY ****ING BITCH" :laughing:
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Originally posted by (e)
[size=10]Honestly, who gives a shit.[/size]
Hypothetical questions are retarded, especially immature ones about feces.
(https://psx5central.com/community/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fhome.planetcomm.net%2Fltaylor%2Fpics%2Feat_my_taint.jpg&hash=4212cbccbc8fba722c5a8c5d55209a44e923adfe)
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Originally posted by ViVi
lol funny story omen
My friend had this girl that really like him and she would go to extreme measures to talk to him (and she was fugly too). Anyways, his brother was a huge drug dealer and always had people coming into the house and this girls sister went to get drugs from his brother and brought her sister along, the one that basically stalked him. And at 11 at night he said he was just chillen in his boxers watchin tv in his room and she just busted in and said "Hi Danny!" and he said he screamed and started yellin at her and saying "WTF ARE U DOIN HERE?! GET THE **** OUT OF MY HOUSE YOU CRAZY ****ING BITCH" :laughing:
Another heart warming moment from the guy who laughs at people with cancer.
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;)
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Stupidest thing about (e)\'s post is that he made the font so large and didn\'t even bother putting a question mark at the end, showing the whole world that he is in fact a grammatical failure and his existence is worthless.
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Wouldn\'t that make him a punctuational failure? Well, assuming that punctuational was a word, that is.
And just because you\'re a peg up from Spudz doesn\'t make you any less a grammatical failure than he. So that begs the question, is anyone who isn\'t perfect in regards to grammar living a worthless existance? Or is it perhaps, only those that emphasise it by making their text rediculously large?
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Such questions can only be answered by more questions.......
what is the meaning of life?
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bashing spudz even though he said I\'m the only cool member here....
Nice suck-up, bone-smoker.
:D
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If he thinks your the only cool member here and thinks all the others are dorks, why does he post here?
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Dude, he lives in Alaska....I think you have to be over 30 to appreciate Alaska\'s benefits....
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they actually have a rather large shrine dedicated to chizzy in Alaska, it\'s right by the penguin races
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Spudz ate my ass like an Eskimo Pie.
:shy:
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don\'t feel too special, he does that to everyone. That\'s called an "Alaskan hello"
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Whatever you do, don\'t hang around for the Alaskan goodbye...
*shivers*
my scrotum is still slimy, and the merangue sculptures of my taint won\'t stop arriving via fed ex....
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Haha the shit some of you come up with...
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Originally posted by (e)
[size=10]Honestly, who gives a shit.[/size]
Hypothetical questions are retarded, especially immature ones about feces.
And you\'re mature?:rolleyes:
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I find it comical.
Considering someone you consider so low, can get such a rise out of you.
I know theomen gets a "rise" out of it.
I think its even funnier that you 20-30 some year olds even waste your time with me. If not even wanted here, than why not shun me? Basically I live off hate.
;)
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Ya know by some of the shit you say I wouldn\'t doubt that you and ps2_girl weren\'t somehow related.:smileysex
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Why shun you? It\'s so much fun to just trash you instead. That and pity over knowing you have no friends, nor will you ever at this rate.
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Originally posted by Bozco
Why shun you? It\'s so much fun to just trash you instead. That and pity over knowing you have no friends, nor will you ever at this rate.
:wned:
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Originally posted by Bozco
Why shun you? It\'s so much fun to just trash you instead. That and pity over knowing you have no friends, nor will you ever at this rate.
:laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing: :laughing:
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I agree, I look forward to his posts so that I have some one to make fun of. I can\'t be mean to the other members like I can be to spudz.
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This forum is so ruthless, slip up once and you\'re gonna get it. It really is funny but some people don\'t like the abuse. I guess just make sure you can take it, especially if you\'re going to dish it out as well. Don\'t complain if you are just adding fuel to the fire. Either that or just get out your sticks and marshmallows, burn them biznatchs, and enjoy the entertainment.
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you don\'t know spudz, look back through this thread for just a taste. He usually brings all the shit on himself.
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No I\'m not saying you guys are horrible people I think it\'s hilarious. It\'s just eveyone here seems to be on point ya know; no one gets away with anything.
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Short People got no reason
To live
They got little hands
And little eyes
And they walk around
Tellin\' great big lies
They got little noses
And tiny little teeth
They wear platform shoes
On their nasty little fett
Well, I don\'t want no Short People
Don\'t want no Short People
Don\'t want no Short People
Round here
Short People are just the same
As you and I
(A Fool Such As I)
All men are brothers
Until the day they die
(It\'s A Wonderful World)
Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
Short People got nobody
To love
They got little baby legs
And they stand so low
You got to pick \'em up
Just to say hello
They got little cars
That got beep, beep, beep
They got little voices
Goin\' peep, peep, peep
They got grubby little fingers
And dirty little minds
They\'re gonna get you every time
Well, I don\'t want no Short People
Don\'t want no Short People
Don\'t want no Short People
\'Round here
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:ghey: And that\'s all I have to say about that...
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Originally posted by L i L K u B B s
:ghey: And that\'s all I have to say about that...
This noob rocks.
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Please with the noob thing, lol.. I\'ve been around enough, maybe not here but I\'m certainly no noob to forums.
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you\'ll be a noob here for a little while, ever one is a noob unil they get to be known around here. Hell, I was a noob once
Memories, like the corner of my soul....
^^
that still wasn\'t ghey as spudz poem
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Oh well, I\'ll deal for the while then
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clips is no longer the noob, its u
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Lilkubbs, I think your pretty cool so far. And consider yourself lucky, all noobs after theoman registered got "welcomed" in his own way. I have yet to see him do it ;)
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damn, that slipped my mind. I must be losing my ways. I\'ll have to make it up, and then some.
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Originally posted by theomen
damn, that slipped my mind. I must be losing my ways. I\'ll have to make it up, and then some.
*slaps theomen for forgetting.....not in the face ;)*