PSX5Central
Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: SwifDi on July 06, 2004, 10:11:20 PM
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Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?
Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I work out every day, I\'m toned and perfect. My measurements are 36-24-36. What do you look like?
Wellhung: I\'m 6\'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart.I\'m also wearing a T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells funny.
Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?
Wellhung: OK.
Sweetheart: We\'re in my bedroom.There\'s soft music playing on the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I\'m looking up into your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.
Wellhung: I\'m gulping, I\'m beginning to sweat.
Sweetheart: I\'m pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.
Wellhung: Now I\'m unbuttoning your blouse.My hands are trembling.
Sweetheart: I\'m moaning softly.
Wellhung: I\'m taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.
Sweetheart: I\'m throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides off my warm skin.I\'m rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.
Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole in your blouse.I\'m sorry.
Sweetheart: That\'s OK, it wasn\'t really too expensive.
Wellhung: I\'ll pay for it.
Sweetheart: Don\'t worry about it.I\'m wearing a lacy black bra.My soft breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.
Wellhung: I\'m fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it\'s stuck. Do you have any scissors?
Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I\'m reaching back undoing the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My nipples are erect for you.
Wellhung: How did you do that? I\'m picking up the bra and inspecting the clasp.
Sweetheart: I\'m arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your tongue all over me.
Wellhung: I\'m dropping the bra. Now I\'m licking your, you know, breasts. They\'re neat!
Sweetheart: I\'m running my fingers through your hair. Now I\'m nibbling your ear.
Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and phlegm.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I\'m so sorry. Really.
Sweetheart: I\'m wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of my blouse.
Wellhung: I\'m taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a plop.
Sweetheart: OK. I\'m pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing your hard tool.
Wellhung: I\'m screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!
Sweetheart: I\'m pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.
Wellhung: I\'m pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.
Sweetheart: What\'s the matter?
Wellhung: I\'ve got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I\'m choking.
Sweetheart: Are you OK?
Wellhung: I\'m having a coughing fit. I\'m turning all red.
Sweetheart: Can I help?
Wellhung: I\'m running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I\'m fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?
Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.
Wellhung: I\'m drinking a cup of water. There, that\'s better.
Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.
Wellhung: I\'m washing the cup now.
Sweetheart: I\'m on the bed arching for you.
Wellhung: I\'m drying the cup. Now I\'m putting it back in the cabinet. And now I\'m walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it\'s dark, I\'m lost. Where\'s the bedroom?
Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.
Wellhung: I found it.
Sweetheart: I\'m tuggin\' off your pants. I\'m moaning. I want you so badly.
Wellhung: Me too.
Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately - our naked bodies pressing each other.
Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.
Sweetheart: Why don\'t you take off your glasses?
Wellhung: OK, but I can\'t see very well without them. I place the glasses on the night table.
Sweetheart: I\'m bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!
Wellhung: I have to pee. I\'m fumbling my way blindly across the room and toward the bathroom.
Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.
Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it\'s dark. I\'m feeling around for the toilet. I lift the lid.
Sweetheart: I\'m waiting eagerly for your return.
Wellhung: I\'m done going. I\'m feeling around for the flush handle, but I can\'t find it. Uh-oh!
Sweetheart: What\'s the matter now?
Wellhung: I\'ve realized that I\'ve peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry again. I\'m walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.
Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.
Wellhung: OK, now I\'m going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you know...woman\'s thing.
Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!
Wellhung: I\'m touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck. Umm, I\'m having a little trouble here.
Sweetheart: I\'m moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can\'t stand it another second! Slide in! Screw me now!
Wellhung: I\'m flaccid.
Sweetheart: What?
Wellhung: I\'m limp. I can\'t sustain an erection.
Sweetheart: I\'m standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on my face.
Wellhung: I\'m shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy. I\'m going to get my glasses and see what\'s wrong.
Sweetheart: No, never mind. I\'m getting dressed. I\'m putting on my underwear. Now I\'m putting on my wet nasty blouse.
Wellhung: No wait! Now I\'m squinting, trying to find the night table. I\'m feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray,picture frames and your candles.
Sweetheart: I\'m buttoning my blouse. Now I\'m putting on my shoes.
Wellhung: I\'ve found my glasses. I\'m putting them on. My God! One of our candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I\'m pointing at it, a shocked look on my face.
Sweetheart: Go to hell. I\'m logging off, you loser!
Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!
Sweetheart: { [logged off]
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"I\'m running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I\'m fumbling through the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?"
that made me laugh for some odd reason
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lol, i\'m sure i\'ve heard that before.
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hahahahaha
Wellhung: I\'m drying the cup. Now I\'m putting it back in the cabinet. And now I\'m walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it\'s dark, I\'m lost. Where\'s the bedroom?
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i read this somewhere before too...
but its funny nonetheless.
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I have seen that one before, there are a few similar ones floating around the net. One of them includes dressing up as a wizard and casting spells.
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Originally posted by Kurt Angle
I have seen that one before, there are a few similar ones floating around the net. One of them includes dressing up as a wizard and casting spells.
By yours truly! :p
http://www.psx2central.com/forums/showthread.php?threadid=29454&highlight=wizard
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I laughed a lot at this. I\'ve had cyber before (very bored) but this is great :laughing:
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That was pretty funny
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Sorta funny.
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Originally posted by GmanJoe
Sorta funny.
You ruin everything :mad:
:gman:
j/k :)
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Originally posted by Titan
You ruin everything :mad:
:gman:
j/k :)
I don\'t know. It was obviously scripted by the same person. The wizard one, well, that\'s a little more believable since the converstation didn\'t last for more than a minute....as most women would just log off when they meet a creep.
Just ask mm. ;)
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This has to be the funniest cybersex convo ever...
And also one of the oldest.
[/mm] ;)
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A lot funnier this time than when Gman posted it.
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Vid yo bastard you saved our convo on your computer somewhere I would have never Im not like that I cannot belive you let this out now people are gonna talk about us thanks alot!
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Originally posted by Titan
I laughed a lot at this. I\'ve had cyber before (very bored) but this is great :laughing:
Why say "bored", when you meant you was very horny & lonley.
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These sorts of conversations are really only funny when you\'re the person participating it. Reading someone else doing it isn\'t funny. Particularly when it\'s obviously scripted.
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Originally posted by Living-In-Clip
Why say "bored", when you meant you was very horny & lonley.
What!?!?! So now you have started having CyberSex??
You had better make sure you wear your Cyber condom!!!
You seem to know something on this subject
:stupid: :wav2: :stupid:
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I have had internet access since the time I was around 13 - so to answer your question...
If you only knew.
;)
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Originally posted by Bobs_Hardware
These sorts of conversations are really only funny when you\'re the person participating it. Reading someone else doing it isn\'t funny. Particularly when it\'s obviously scripted.
But of course if you had written it, you\'d think it was funny.
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I\'d be disappointed in my inept comedy writing abilities.
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Originally posted by Living-In-Clip
I have had internet access since the time I was around 13 - so to answer your question...
If you only knew.
;)
I am not sure I really really wanna know
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Originally posted by Living-In-Clip
Why say "bored", when you meant you was very horny & lonley.
I was horny too now that you mention it :) I knew the girl personally, so its not like I\'m doing it with a stranger *runs off to chatroom*
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The best part about cyber-sex is the fact that even for those of us who suffer form pre-mature ejaculation, we can still go on and on and on, without ever actualy telling that we ejaculated twenty sentences ago.
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Originally posted by Living-In-Clip
The best part about cyber-sex is the fact that even for those of us who suffer form pre-mature ejaculation, we can still go on and on and on, without ever actualy telling that we ejaculated twenty sentences ago.
Know this from experience?
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Originally posted by Titan
Know this from experience?
Maybe.....
Yes...
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Does ooseven know that you premature ejaculate?
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Originally posted by Titan
Does ooseven know that you premature ejaculate?
You\'re pushing it, buddy.
;)
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Originally posted by Living-In-Clip
You\'re pushing it, buddy.
;)
:laughing: Sorry, I had to :)
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http://cgi.ebay.com/ws/eBayISAPI.dll?ViewItem&category=60153&item=5908049461&rd=1
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Originally posted by ooseven
let me guess... Bloodninja IS TITAN.
Originally posted by theomen
that was some hilarious shit..however, never message me again Titan, you almost gave me blue balls
I was reading through the old thread and I just came across that. That was one wild night with me and theomen ;) :bounce:
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Originally posted by Living-In-Clip
The best part about cyber-sex is the fact that even for those of us who suffer form pre-mature ejaculation, we can still go on and on and on, without ever actualy telling that we ejaculated twenty sentences ago.
:laughing:
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Originally posted by Bobs_Hardware
:laughing:
Thank you, I am just glad someone still finds my humor amusing ..
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Originally posted by Living-In-Clip
The best part about cyber-sex is the fact that even for those of us who suffer form pre-mature ejaculation, we can still go on and on and on, without ever actualy telling that we ejaculated twenty sentences ago.
EEWWW that was WAY MORE info that I REALLY REALLY
needed to know.........do you share your deep dark secrets
like this with everyone????
:sperm::sperm::sperm:
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Originally posted by Mrs Living-in-Clip
EEWWW that was WAY MORE info that I REALLY REALLY
needed to know.........do you share your deep dark secrets
like this with everyone????
:sperm::sperm::sperm:
Yes.
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LIC is a really open kind of guy. He just squirts out info (no pun intended).
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That is an obvious pun.
I\'ve had cyber before (very bored) but this is great
...
Thats shameful.
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Not as shameful as the stuff you post :p
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Cybersex is evil. Lots of keyboards are getting killed because of it..
and all those kittens.
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(https://psx5central.com/community/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.ebaumsworld.com%2Fforumfun%2Fmisc3.jpg&hash=306b262490db630101823045320b6ac14f48d4a0)
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Yeah, I think the entire ****ing world know what that picture looks like.
I dont think you have to post it again.
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everybody get down with the pee pants...
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Originally posted by (e)
Yeah, I think the entire ****ing world know what that picture looks like.
I dont think you have to post it again.
Oh, I think I do.
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I am sorry, Titan. I should not have verbally attacked you like I did. I know, that I am actually the complete idiot , not you. I took my anger out on you, because I realize my own shortcomings, my many shortcomings..
Maybe one day I will amount to something, but I doubt it. For this, I apolgoize to the whole board and hope you can find it in your heart to forgive this little retard from Alaska.
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And my respect for LIC just jumped :) What did he originally say though?
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<= is curious also
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Must have been something about me.
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you people suck!!
(e) that was really big of you no matter how small of a weiner everyone says you have. You have a big heart and am proud to know of someone you can quickly see there own faults and apologize to all like that it takes alot of gutz brutha..
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umm...
*wonders if cyrus noticed that LIC modded spudz post...
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I think you need to read the very bottom of his post...
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please Im sure LIC just fixed some punctuation I can tell that post is from (e) he has a big heart you people just dont know him he is so misunderstood!! You go girl dont listen to these punks.. Let you weiner size not bother you one bit!!!
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He was being a typical prick, so I thought I\'d have fun with it, instead of deleting his post.
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Originally posted by Cyrus
please Im sure LIC just fixed some punctuation I can tell that post is from (e) he has a big heart you people just dont know him he is so misunderstood!! You go girl dont listen to these punks.. Let you weiner size not bother you one bit!!!
Your gay.
I think its funny.
har har.
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Damnit... this thread had so much potential until (e) posted in it... :rolleyes:
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Originally posted by SwifDi
Damnit... this thread had so much potential until (e) posted in it... :rolleyes:
Please, don\'t add fuel to the fire.
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Originally posted by Living-In-Clip
Please, don\'t add fuel to the fire.
Yeah but c\'mon, if (e) wasn\'t such a stupid prick who was always insulting people everything would be so much sweeter in candy-land! I mean, JEE-SUS he ruins everything he\'s such an immature baby with no respect for others, and particularly no respect for anyone and even less for authority and other figures trying to bring him down and conform with the rest of us, I can safely say he\'s the biggest loser in the world and I hope he dies, or is at least struck down with every illness known to dibilitate middle aged women - which, last time I checked, was a LOT of illnesses, but I think he deserves it for being such a beliger.. fuckhead, God he ruined this thread like he ruins every other thread and it\'s just such a shame that he keeps ruining shit that it\'s just not funny I hate that guy and I\'m sure you agree with me that he ruined this thread which had so much potential before he went ahead and ruined it, someone needs to bake him some cookies of JUSTICE for him to eat and be stuffed full of righteousness and good intention because I\'m fed up with his ruining of threads he\'s such a loser he\'s probably responsible for El Nino and we can only hope that he gets a receding hairline well before his years and maybe even DIES from lack of hair because he lives in alaska and it\'s so cold that his head might freeze and blow up not that I think anyone would notice because it\'s like the dude doesn\'t even have a brain which you can tell because he\'s such a faggot who ruins everything with his faggotnessossity and obvious stupidity and then you come in here defending him like he\'s a real person but everyone knows that he\'s not because he\'s a stupid innuit or whatever the politically correct to for innuits is, I think it\'s eskimo the stupid eskimo, more like eski-HO but I digress because he\'s just not worth the time to encourage his rampant behaviour God he\'s such a loser I hate him.
:mad:
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Jesus ****in\' christ, Bobo.. Break it down in paragraphs or something man. Oh and use a period!
:)
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Its another Cyrus...
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and perhaps fewer f*cks
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Originally posted by Ashford
Its another Cyrus...
I have my own ..... Cliche? Are you trying to say I have huge run on sentences with no punctiation whatsoever?
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Originally posted by Bobs_Hardware
Yeah but c\'mon, if (e) wasn\'t such a stupid prick who was always insulting people everything would be so much sweeter in candy-land! I mean, JEE-SUS he ruins everything he\'s such an immature baby with no respect for others, and particularly no respect for anyone and even less for authority and other figures trying to bring him down and conform with the rest of us, I can safely say he\'s the biggest loser in the world and I hope he dies, or is at least struck down with every illness known to dibilitate middle aged women - which, last time I checked, was a LOT of illnesses, but I think he deserves it for being such a beliger.. fuckhead, God he ruined this thread like he ruins every other thread and it\'s just such a shame that he keeps ruining shit that it\'s just not funny I hate that guy and I\'m sure you agree with me that he ruined this thread which had so much potential before he went ahead and ruined it, someone needs to bake him some cookies of JUSTICE for him to eat and be stuffed full of righteousness and good intention because I\'m fed up with his ruining of threads he\'s such a loser he\'s probably responsible for El Nino and we can only hope that he gets a receding hairline well before his years and maybe even DIES from lack of hair because he lives in alaska and it\'s so cold that his head might freeze and blow up not that I think anyone would notice because it\'s like the dude doesn\'t even have a brain which you can tell because he\'s such a faggot who ruins everything with his faggotnessossity and obvious stupidity and then you come in here defending him like he\'s a real person but everyone knows that he\'s not because he\'s a stupid innuit or whatever the politically correct to for innuits is, I think it\'s eskimo the stupid eskimo, more like eski-HO but I digress because he\'s just not worth the time to encourage his rampant behaviour God he\'s such a loser I hate him.
:mad:
lol, Bobs back with avengance
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Heh, I love bobbo. Only he can make a 22 line run on sentence :p
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Originally posted by Bobs_Hardware
******nessossity
that is one cool word!
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Originally posted by Bobs_Hardware
...******nessossity...
The new word of the day!!
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Spudz is an idiot!
he shoots he scores