PSX5Central
Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Mr. Kennedy on October 05, 2004, 06:11:02 PM
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:(
Rodney Dangerfield was one of my favorite actors. He was probably the man who gave me the most laughs during his movies. It\'s a shame, hopefully he will be remembered by all.
Full Story (http://www.cnn.com/2004/SHOWBIZ/10/05/obit.dangerfield.ap/index.html)
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In Ladybugs when he cheered his girls on, well.. It was cinematic history.
Dude\'s career never went past Caddyshack for me. No respect at all.
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He was a funny lookin guy.
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Sad.
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Well yet another well known person dead.
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damn it... first jesus... now this... :(
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That just sucks.
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Rest in peace Rodney Dangerfield.
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I told my psychiatrist that everyone hates me. He said I was being ridiculous - everyone hasn\'t met me yet.
I drink too much. The last time I gave a urine sample it had an olive in it.
King of the one liners, all shall bow down....bow damnit!
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who?
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Yeah. I liked Dangerfield. I was looking at this yesterday. I mean he wasnt the best actor by far but i enjoyed his movies when i was younger. Some of his movies have been on cable recently.
RIP
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His stuff never did well on screen, his stand up was just perfect though. He\'d hit you with 1-liner after 1-liner and wouldn\'t let you breathe between jokes.
He was a natural at what he did. Not a huge fan but sad to see him go.
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I saw that movie where he lives in the governor\'s mansion. That movie where he voiced the voice of a doggie. And... I saw him in that episode of The Simpsons. I like his voice. Don\'t remember many of his jokes though...
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I\'m not a sexy guy. I went to a hooker. I dropped my pants. She dropped her price.
I tell you, with my doctor, I don\'t get no respect._ I told him, "I\'ve swallowed a bottle of sleeping pills."_ He told me to have a few drinks and get some rest._
I tell ya when I was a kid, all I knew was rejection._ My yo-yo, it never came back!_
When I was a kid I got no respect._ The time I was kidnapped, and the kidnappers sent my parents a note they said, "We want five thousand dollars or you\'ll see your kid again."
Some dog I got too. We call him Egypt because he leaves a pyramid in every room.
With my dog I don\'t get no respect._ He keeps barking at the front door._ He don\'t want to go out._ He wants me to leave.
What a dog I got._ His favorite bone is in my arm!
Last week I saw my psychiatrist. I told him, "Doc, I keep thinking I\'m a dog." He told me to get off his couch.
I worked in a pet store and people kept asking how big I\'d get.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years._ Then we met.
I\'ll tell ya, my wife and I, we don\'t think alike. She donates money to the homeless, and I donate money to the topless!
One night I came home._ I figured, let my wife come on._ I\'ll play it cool._ Let her make the first move._ She went to Florida._
I asked my old man if I could go ice-skating on the lake._ He told me, "Wait til it gets warmer."
My doctor told me to watch my drinking._ Now I drink in front of a mirror._ I drink too much._ Way too much._ My doctor drew blood._ He ran a tab.
When I was born the doctor came out to the waiting room and said to my father, "I\'m very sorry. We did everything we could...but he pulled through."
I come from a stupid family. During the Civil War my great uncle fought for the west!
My father was stupid._ He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.
My mother had morning sickness after I was born.
My mother never breast fed me. She told me that she only liked me as a friend.
My father carries around the picture of the kid who came with his wallet.
When I played in the sandbox the cat kept covering me up.
I could tell that my parents hated me. My bath toys were a toaster and a radio.
One year they wanted to make me poster boy... for birth control.
I remember the time I was kidnapped and they sent back a piece of my finger to my father._ He said he wanted more proof.
My uncle\'s dying wish was to have me sitting on his lap._ He was in the electric chair.
Once when I was lost I saw a policeman and asked him to help me find my parents. I said to him, "Do you think we\'ll ever find them?" He said, "I don\'t know kid. There are so many places they can hide."
I remember I was so depressed I was going to jump out a window on the tenth floor. They sent a priest up to talk to me. He said, "On your mark..."
When my old man wanted sex, my mother would show him a picture of me.
I had a lot of pimples too._ One day I fell asleep in a library._ I woke up and a blind man was reading my face.
My wife made me join a bridge club. I jump off next Tuesday.
Last week my tie caught on fire._ Some guy tried to put it out with an ax!
I met the surgeon general. He offered me a cigarette.
One time I went to a hotel._ I asked the bellhop to handle my bag._ He felt up my wife!
This morning when I put on my underwear I could hear the Fruit of the Loom guys laughing at me.
I\'m a bad lover._ Once I caught a peeping tom booing me.
My wife only has sex with me for a purpose._ Last night she used me to time an egg.
It\'s tough to stay married._ My wife kisses the dog on the lips, yet she won\'t drink from my glass!
My wife isn\'t very bright. The other day she was at the store, and just as she was heading for our car, someone stole it! I said, "Did you see the guy that did it?" She said, "No, but I got the license plate."
Last night my wife met me at the front door._ She was wearing a sexy negligee._ The only trouble was, she was coming home.
A girl phoned me and said, "Come on over. There\'s nobody home." I went over._ Nobody was home!
A hooker once told me she had a headache.
I went to a massage parlor._ It was self service.
If it weren\'t for pick-pocketers, I\'d have no sex life at all.
I was making love to this girl and she started crying._ I said, "Are you going to hate yourself in the morning?" She said, "No, I hate myself now."
I knew a girl so ugly that she was known as a two-bagger._ That\'s when you put a bag over your head in case the bag over her head breaks.
I knew a girl so ugly, they use her in prisons to cure sex offenders.
I knew a girl so ugly, I took her to the top of the Empire State building and planes started to attack her.
I knew a girl so ugly, the last time I saw a mouth like hers it had a hook on the end of it.
I knew a girl so ugly, she had a face like a saint--a Saint Bernard!
I was tired one night and I went to the bar to have a few drinks. The bartender asked me, "What\'ll you have?" I said, "Surprise me." He showed me a naked picture of my wife.
During sex my wife always wants to talk to me._ Just the other night she called me from a hotel.
My marriage is on the rocks again._ Yeah, my wife just broke up with her boyfriend.
One day as I came home early from work, I saw a guy jogging naked. I said to the guy, "Hey buddy...why are you doing that for?" He said, "Because you came home early."
I went to see my doctor... Doctor Vidi-boom-ba. Yeah...I told him once, "Doctor, every morning when I get up and look in the mirror I feel like throwing up._ What\'s wrong with me?_ He said, "I don\'t know, but your eyesight is perfect."
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow._ He told me to wear a brown necktie.
My psychiatrist told me I\'m going crazy._ I told him, "If you don\'t mind, I\'d like a second opinion."_ He said, "All right. You\'re ugly too!"
I was so ugly, my mother used to feed me with a slingshot!
When I was born the doctor took one look at my face, turned me over and said, "Look, twins!"
And we were poor too._ Why, if I wasn\'t born a boy, I\'d have nothing to play with!
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(https://psx5central.com/community/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.rodney.com%2Frodney%2Fimages%2Fbook%2FbookPop.jpg&hash=8eaf65596c6efaaa40c0a13e092d70c5a7ce830e)
This is the dood in question, although i never really found him all that funny. To simple minded for my likes.
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"
I told my dentist my teeth are going yellow._ He told me to wear a brown necktie."
I dont get it
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Damnit, I was always hoping he\'d take a stab at being the next Batman.
Anyhoo, RIP Rodney.
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juslight,
most of those jokes are hilarious.
:laughing:
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Yeah, he was a pioneer in self-hating comedy. I loved his stand up, but his movies were... meh
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Never saw any of his movies but any of his one liners had me laughing.
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you mean to tell me you\'ve never seen caddyshack?!?!
for shame! Go rent it now, kiddo..