PSX5Central
Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: Cyrus on June 08, 2005, 12:49:33 PM
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I just finish writting it. But I think I was right on with just about everything.
Dear Mr. $%@,
As a graduate of an institution of higher education, I have a few very basic expectations. Chief among these is that my direct superiors have an intellect that ranges above the common ground squirrel. After your consistent and annoying harassment of my coworkers and me during the commission of our duties, I can only surmise that you are one of the few true genetic wastes of our time.
Asking me, a network administrator, to explain every little nuance of everything I do each time you happen to stroll into my office is not only a waste of time, but also a waste of precious oxygen. I was hired because I know how to network computer systems, and you were apparently hired to provide amusement to myself and other employees, who watch you vainly attempt to understand the concept of "cut and paste" for the hundredth time.
You will never understand computers. Something as incredibly simple as binary still gives you too many options. You will also never understand why people hate you, but I am going to try and explain it to you, even though I am sure this will be just as effective as telling you what an IP is.
Your shiny new laptop has more personality than you ever will. You walk around the building all day, shiftlessly looking for fault in others. You have a sharp dressed useless look about you that may have worked for your interview, but now that you actually have responsibility, you pawn it off on overworked staff, hoping their talent will cover for your glaring ineptitude.
In a world of managerial evolution, you are the blue-green algae that everyone else eats and laughs at. Managers like you are a sad proof of the Dilbert principle. Since this situation is unlikely to change without you getting a full frontal lobotomy reversal, I am forced to tender my resignation, however I have a few parting thoughts.
1. When someone calls you in reference to employment, it is illegal for you to give me a bad recommendation. The most you can say to hurt me is "I prefer not to comment." I will have friends randomly call you over the next couple of years to keep you honest, because I know you would be unable to do it on your own.
2. I have all the passwords to every account on the system, and I know every password you have used for the last five years. If you decide to get cute, I am going to publish your "favorites list", which I conveniently saved when you made me "back up" your useless files. I do believe that terms like "Lolita" are not usually viewed favorably by the administration.
3. When you borrowed the digital camera to "take pictures of your Mother\'s birthday," you neglected to mention that you were going to take pictures of yourself in the mirror nude. Then you forgot to erase them like the techno-moron you really are. Suffice it to say I have never seen such odd acts with a sauce bottle, but I assure you that those have been copied and kept in safe places pending the authoring of a glowing letter of recommendation. (Try to use a spell check please; I hate having to correct your mistakes.)
Thank you for your time, and I expect the letter of recommendation on my desk by 8:00 am tomorrow. One word of this to anybody, and all of your little twisted repugnant obsessions will be open to the public.
Never f*** with your systems administrator. Why? Because they know what you do with all that free time!
Wishing you a grand and glorious day,
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:laughing: That\'s funny. But it also sounds like blackmail.
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:laughing: :laughing:....damn cy, i wish i could send that letter to a couple of cats on my job! s**t is hilarious! :laughing:
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Originally posted by EviscerationX
:laughing: That\'s funny. But it also sounds like blackmail.
well if i sent it to my boss it would be BLACKmail! *badum pshh* get it? BLACK-MAIL,..cause i\'m black and...uhm oh nevermind....
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Originally posted by clips
well if i sent it to my boss it would be BLACKmail! *badum pshh* get it? BLACK-MAIL,..cause i\'m black and...uhm oh nevermind....
:laughing:
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:D
phaik!
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yup, that\'s illegal right there....
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What ever happened to "I Quit"?
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It got replaced by, "I\'m a whiney bitch so fuck you for these reasons"
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obviously fake
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Cyrus doesn\'t have the guts to tell his wife he wants sex. What more with his employer? :p He\'s such a closet pervert.
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Originally posted by GmanJoe
Cyrus doesn\'t have the guts to tell his wife he wants sex. What more with his employer? :p He\'s such a closet pervert.
gman...... your so onto me
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Originally posted by Cyrus
gman...... your so onto me
I was "in" you last weekend. :p
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wow did one a few weeks back myself
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Cy, is that real? Either way, its pretty funny.
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I was mad and wrote it.... I have not actaully given it yet becuase he gave me a raise so I dunno.
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Why would anyone borrow a digital camera and take pictures of themselves nude then give it back? I used to keep party pictures on my digital but then my friends would look through and see them.
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because he is an idiot!
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log onto hello mang!
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i just read this thread from who's online section and one of the guests was on this thread. i read it and thought this is a funny thread. i can't remember if i have read this thread before, probably not but its very funny.
maybe it should be put in the 15th anniversary best of section.
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While it is funny not sure it meets the criteria for hall of fame status.
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I don't remember it to be honest.