PSX5Central
Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: GmanJoe on November 08, 2005, 02:23:26 PM
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...here\'s some ammo:
I have no pants on as I\'m typing and I\'ll tell you why:
I was jogging back to my condo just awhile ago when I saw I was about to step INTO a gigantic dog poop. I\'m talking COILED like a thick brown snake type poop.
It\'s from that genetic freak some people call a neopolitan mastiff
(https://psx5central.com/community/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.europuppy.com%2Feuropu_dogimages%2F10881.jpg&hash=7a3ed206c4eaf10f3a8768b45460dcaa92c43bdf)
only it\'s brown in color. That\'s more like a cross between a grizzly and a St Bernard. Most people who live here have halfling size dogs like pugs and terriers. This poop was bigger than half the dogs that live here. I\'ve seen this dog being walked by this big muscle head whom I probably would not want to pick an argument with. Anyway.....
.... since my right foot stepped right into this mud puddle, the momentum of trying to stop placed all my weight on my feet...and since poop have no traction, my right foot slid about three further than my left foot....causing my ass to plant right on top of the poop cake. Luckily, there were no witnesses around to make fun of me. So I thought I\'d post it on the internet. No one will know, right? <--- this is sarcasm, Evix.
And you know the irony is...there\'s a sign not even 10 feet from where I fell that clearly states that all dog poops must be picked up by the dog owners.
I love those Dockers. May they rest in piece. My condo smells like shit.
Thank you. And have fun you bastards. Hope you all have diarrhea. :mad:
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damn that sucks man. Like really really sucks. Here\'s another story from maxima.org to help you feel better:
so im at wawa (convience store) and as i go in some little pricks in a navigator say some $hit to me and my girlfriend. i didnt really hear it and paid no attention. so i come out and they are right next to my max. well they had put a 1 litre bottle of fruit punch behind their front tire. as i get to my door and they throw it into reverse. crushing the bottle and covering me from waist down in the sticks $hit. got it all over the car too. the kids are under 21 drivin a navi on 20" + rims and they have to Fuk with someone like me for no reason. GOD I FUKIN HATE PEOPLE. sorry i had just to vent.
Consider putting up even more signs to prevent dog owners from leaving poop behind. Especially find the culprit dog owner and plant the sign directly in his front yard/door.
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sometimes when im at macdonalds i wait until no one is looking then i reach inside the straw dispenser and touch all the straws
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^^
Do you rub your balls first?
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That\'s a cool dog.
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<--- this is sarcasm, Evix.
You\'re an idiot...that is all.
Sorry about your poop of death incident.
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Since you boogers like making fun of me....
Shut up you twat!!
I think this thread is obsolete now I stated the obvious.
Lock away mm or LIC
:D :gay: :gay: ;)
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That sucks I had a streak one week where I managed to step in dog shit no less 3 days in a row while walking my dog to take a shit, I had picked up each time until then I said fuck this shitty apartment place and from then on left it, I live in a nicer place now thank god.
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Originally posted by THX
damn that sucks man. Like really really sucks. Here\'s another story from maxima.org to help you feel better:
Consider putting up even more signs to prevent dog owners from leaving poop behind. Especially find the culprit dog owner and plant the sign directly in his front yard/door.
Ummmmm, no. People like that don\'t care about signs, they\'re just inconsiderate and oblivious bastards.
Scoop up a pound of his poop and spray it onto his walkway (so it\'s harder to clean up). Make sure you get it into little droplets and splatters with the throw. After 2-3 treatments, he will figure out that if he leaves no ammo around - he will not get attacked.
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You could always keep the pants and just say it was your shit instead....
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I vote for saying it was your shit.
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Damn man, that sucks. Stepping in dog shit is never fun.
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But he sat in it!
:gman:
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Originally posted by (e)
But he sat in it!
:gman:
Yeah but him sitting in it makes it hilarious.
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cripes...
I feel for ya. My buddy stepped in what I can only assume was hobo shit before he git inta me trailblazah.
I had to throw way da rug.
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nothing stains like hobo shit :(:(
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It tastes real good though..
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:laughing: hahahahahahaa "pauses" ahhhhhhhhhh hahahahahahhaaa...
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Originally posted by Samwise
It tastes real good though..
You never cease to amaze me.
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Pretty funny, sorry. :gay:
And this is why cats > dogs . Cats bury their own shit. ;)
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Originally posted by fastson
Pretty funny, sorry. :gay:
And this is why cats > dogs . Cats bury their own shit. ;)
I hope you eat "yellow" snow. Crazy Swede. If you weren\'t so damn tall, I\'d kick you in the nuts. :p
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Originally posted by fastson
Pretty funny, sorry. :gay:
And this is why cats > dogs . Cats bury their own shit. ;)
yeah, in other peoples gardens, inconsiderate fucks
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I hope the shit was made from digested cat meat.
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If I dont close the door my dog will sneak into my cats litter box and have itself a little snack.
Apparently they are quite old turds, since I can hear them "cRunCh" when my dog eats them.
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That\'s disgusting (e).
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The best part about cats is that they are amazing bug catchers. Any time they see a bug in the house (which is rarely) they pounce and eat it. Takes them a little longer with flies, but they eventually get the job done.
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Originally posted by Cerberus
yeah, in other peoples gardens, inconsiderate fucks
Hey, it works like a fertilizer. ;)
I hope you eat "yellow" snow. Crazy Swede. If you weren\'t so damn tall, I\'d kick you in the nuts.
Hehe.
Speaking of yellow snow.
One time me and my brother were building a snow cave in the garden. Looked pretty nice after the first day, the next day we were going to expand the cave but when we got inside the cave we saw that the snow floor wasn’t white anymore, it was yellow!
Turns out our cats used the cave as their personal bathroom. :evil: We destroyed the cave shortly thereafter . :(
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Originally posted by JBean
The best part about cats is that they are amazing bug catchers. Any time they see a bug in the house (which is rarely) they pounce and eat it. Takes them a little longer with flies, but they eventually get the job done.
Its funny when my cat attacks spiders. He jumps at it and then jumps up after he hits it. Its weird. Eh, he\'s lazy now. He doesn\'t do much except sleep and bother people in my house, lol.
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Hey, it works like a fertilizer.
No, it kills grass. And yes, I know you were joking.
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Originally posted by JBean
The best part about cats is that they are amazing bug catchers. Any time they see a bug in the house (which is rarely) they pounce and eat it. Takes them a little longer with flies, but they eventually get the job done.
yeah, my kitten Murphy eats all the creepy-crawlers he can catch. These things are aometimes as long as my little finger, and I see about 10 of them a week. This morning he ran across my head trying to get one on the ceiling. If you don\'t know what creepy-crawlers are, (also known as house centipedes) here\'s a taste:
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Centipedes are disgusting. There were a lot at my old job and occasionally at my house. They are creepy as hell.
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Wholy Shit! Thats one fucking scary bug.
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Those are very ugly...but harmless.
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I thought they were poisonous if they bit you. Like not enough to die but it wouldn\'t make your day.
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They are poisonous...but it wouldn\'t ruin your day if you got bit.
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Its lethal to smaller animals and insects. If a mouse got bit, I think it would mess it up. I think it is most potent in whatever the hell it eats.
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It\'s meant for insects...it\'s not that potent to humans. I\'m sure a mouse would have a sh^tty day if it got bit.
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Originally posted by (e)
If I dont close the door my dog will sneak into my cats litter box and have itself a little snack.
Apparently they are quite old turds, since I can hear them "cRunCh" when my dog eats them.
As long as you don\'t have kitty litter that turns to cement (easy scoop). That\'s bad for dogs and cats, even the small amount that gets on cats feet (and they lick off) will kill them after a few years with a nice ol cement-blockage of the colon.
Um, yeah, as long as you don\'t have easy scoop kitty litter, that\'s just gross.
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There are some species of centipede that can kill humans, big shiny black fuckers with red legs from africa & south america that could even kill an elephant if they could bite through their skin.
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I enjoyed being able to sleep at night, Cerberus. Thanks.
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Originally posted by Blade
I enjoyed being able to sleep at night, Cerberus. Thanks.
Those centipedes are so large, they will easily be found by customs agents and if they do get through, there are enough rodents in the US to destroy it (badgers, rats and cats :p ). Those thing require hot humid areas and lots of vegetation to hide under.
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I sometimes wake up with something that resembles a whitehead zit, but on my stomach or arm...it\'s very itchy and very, very painful. I wonder if it\'s these things biting me.
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Originally posted by CHIZZY
I sometimes wake up with something that resembles a whitehead zit, but on my stomach or arm...it\'s very itchy and very, very painful. I wonder if it\'s these things biting me.
That\'s my man juice but dried up. Slurp it up like Robitussin, Chizzy. It\'s good for ya.
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Originally posted by CHIZZY
I sometimes wake up with something that resembles a whitehead zit, but on my stomach or arm...it\'s very itchy and very, very painful. I wonder if it\'s these things biting me.
Actually that\'s theomen. He stalks his prey at night.
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I would never pick up my dog\'s shit. That\'s just too fucking funny. Who owns who??? I trained my dog to eat it.
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Originally posted by CHIZZY
I sometimes wake up with something that resembles a whitehead zit, but on my stomach or arm...it\'s very itchy and very, very painful. I wonder if it\'s these things biting me.
I get bit all the f^cking time, but it\'s obvious red marks, not weird sh^t like that.
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Originally posted by EviscerationX
I get bit all the f^cking time, but it\'s obvious red marks, not weird sh^t like that.
chizz, evi..change yer sheets you dirty bastards! those things biting you are bed bugs! :p ;)
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Maybe they should stop sharing the same bed.
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Evi steals all the covers anyway.
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Originally posted by CHIZZY
Evi steals all the covers anyway.
Who\'s the pitcher and who\'s the catcher?
I\'m gonna say...Evi is the wide-gloved catcher.
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This is Clips:
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-3847555131827961929&q=sex
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Evis says black people don\'t have big wangs. I recommend clips sexes him up.
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Evis is lying. I have seen em on the internet bigblackthunderd*ck.avi
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Is that why he walks with a limp? :p
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Who\'s the pitcher and who\'s the catcher?
I\'m gonna say...Evi is the wide-gloved catcher.
Naw...chizzy prefers to be the catcher...he says it makes him feel all warm inside.
Evi steals all the covers anyway.
I\'m sorry. :( Well damn it! You never cuddle with me anymore so I get cold at night. Bitch!
Evis says black people don\'t have big wangs.
They\'re bigger by about a half inch on average. You dirty whore.
chizz, evi..change yer sheets you dirty bastards! those things biting you are bed bugs!
Dude! These little bastards are EVERYWHERE. I need to spray them to death. I saw a tarantula run across my floor a few weeks ago. Nasty sh^t.
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Evis is learning the ways of Off Topic. Finally. And he\'s a mod! :laughing:
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:gman:
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thx, that s**t is too funny...:laughing:..evi you say you saw a tarantula run across your floor?....whoa..i\'m only used to seein\' cockroaches! :fro:..ahhhh *snobbish mode* i have left the ghetto behind me and i play golf with O.J. and my white counterparts!...j/k.seriously tho a few months back i did find a couple of scorpions in tha crib...scary s**t...they weren\'t that big tho, only about an inch, but still scorpions? wtf?
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evi you say you saw a tarantula run across your floor?....whoa..i\'m only used to seein\' cockroaches!
The fucker was like 3 inches long. I threw furniture everywhere trying to catch him, but he freaking disappeared. I DUNNO HOW BUGS THAT BIG DISAPPEAR!
a few months back i did find a couple of scorpions in tha crib...scary s**t...they weren\'t that big tho, only about an inch, but still scorpions? wtf?
Speaking of scorpions...my bro just sent me a pic of a scorpion that was running around his military base in Qatar. Here\'s duh pic...
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My aunt had a giant cactus at her house in California, she was vacumming one day and it tipped over and it broke open.
Apparently it was hollowed out and hundreds of baby scorpions were living in it. Thats fucking creepy.
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Apparently it was hollowed out and hundreds of baby scorpions were living in it. Thats fucking creepy.
*shrugs* That\'s gross.
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That story is BS, by the way...
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How big of a cactus? I don\'t see how hundreds of scorpions would have lived comfortably in there. Maybe a few.
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http://www.snopes.com and search for cactus or spiders