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Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: GmanJoe on November 21, 2007, 06:08:04 AM

Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: GmanJoe on November 21, 2007, 06:08:04 AM
http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/uk_news/scotland/glasgow_and_west/7095134.stm

Quote
Bike sex man placed on probation  
 
[SIZE="5"]Cleaners caught Mr Stewart simulating sex with a bike [/SIZE]

A man caught trying to have sex with his bicycle has been sentenced to three years on probation.
Robert Stewart, 51, admitted a sexually aggravated breach of the peace by conducting himself in a disorderly manner and simulating sex.

Sheriff Colin Miller also placed Stewart on the Sex Offenders Register for three years.

Mr Stewart was caught in the act with his bicycle by cleaners in his bedroom at the Aberley House Hostel in Ayr.

Gail Davidson, prosecuting, told Ayr Sheriff Court: "They knocked on the door several times and there was no reply.

"They used a master key to unlock the door and they then observed the accused wearing only a white t-shirt, naked from the waist down.

"The accused was holding the bike and moving his hips back and forth as if to simulate sex."

Both cleaners, who were "extremely shocked", told the hostel manager who called police.

Sheriff Colin Miller told Stewart: "In almost four decades in the law I thought I had come across every perversion known to mankind, but this is a new one on me. I have never heard of a \'cycle-sexualist\'."

Stewart had denied the offence, claiming it was caused by a misunderstanding after he had too much to drink.

The bachelor had been living in the hostel since October 2006 after moving from his council house in Girvan.

He now lives in Ayr.



 
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Sara on November 21, 2007, 07:29:44 AM
A man can\'t fuck a bike in his own room?  What the hell?
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: GmanJoe on November 21, 2007, 07:35:29 AM
Your sig is fitting for this man\'s um....fetish.
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: politiepet on November 21, 2007, 07:58:18 AM
aside from the weirdness, why is he sentenced to three years on probation. Is it illegal to have sex with a.... bike in your own home?
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: GmanJoe on November 21, 2007, 08:06:13 AM
Maybe coz he didn\'t stop humping when the ladies came in?
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Luke on November 21, 2007, 09:05:04 AM
My friend and I named our guitar hero band "Bike Sex Man" after this guy.
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Kurt Angle on November 21, 2007, 02:36:08 PM
where exactly on a bike can you stick your cock?
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: videoholic on November 21, 2007, 02:46:07 PM
may have been having butt sex.
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Samwise on November 21, 2007, 09:56:20 PM
He was caught red handed riding the bike.
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: fre4d4 on November 22, 2007, 09:45:27 AM
And whats with being placed on the sex offenders list ?

Don\'t you think thats a bit extreme?
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Titan on November 22, 2007, 12:28:29 PM
I remember a buddy of mine sent me a link on how to have sex with a car. I think he may have actually done it.
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Samwise on November 22, 2007, 01:06:43 PM
But you have to wait until it cools down or you\'ll burn your cock.
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Viper_Fujax on November 22, 2007, 01:40:01 PM
masochism FTW
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Evi on November 22, 2007, 07:38:57 PM
Where do you find this shit?
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Titan on November 22, 2007, 09:01:34 PM
Prolly searching for bike porn and this came up
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Raz The Friggin Grea on November 22, 2007, 10:10:42 PM
Quote from: Evi
Where do you find this shit?

On the internet!
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Evi on November 23, 2007, 01:37:14 AM
Quote from: Raz The Friggin Grea
On the internet!
Thank you, Captain Obvious.

(https://psx5central.com/community/proxy.php?request=http%3A%2F%2Fi6.tinypic.com%2F6pphfl5.jpg&hash=1f25410de7f76266fffd41b7a6567053725bc388)
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: GmanJoe on November 23, 2007, 07:00:07 AM
Quote from: Evi
Where do you find this shit?


BBC. You can\'t help but see the weird news leap out of your screen. If you saw this, I bet you\'d have posted it here.
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Titan on November 23, 2007, 12:50:16 PM
Speaking of weird shit, can I post 2 girls 1 cup? :D
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Samwise on November 23, 2007, 01:45:22 PM
Only if you eat a cup of shit.
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Titan on November 23, 2007, 02:37:58 PM
Can it be yours?
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Cerberus on November 23, 2007, 02:48:02 PM
someone sent me the link for that site the other day, I couldn\'t get past 17 seconds
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Evi on November 23, 2007, 05:21:27 PM
Quote from: GmanJoe
If you saw this, I bet you\'d have posted it here.
Probably. :shy:
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Phil on November 23, 2007, 05:33:07 PM
Quote from: Cerberus
someone sent me the link for that site the other day, I couldn\'t get past 17 seconds


I was warned beforehand so I\'ve avoided it like the plague.
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Samwise on November 23, 2007, 11:33:34 PM
Wussies. :)
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: clips on November 24, 2007, 05:31:03 AM
He was probably stickin\' his thang through the tire spokes of the bike,.... navigatin\' your johnson through those things i\'m sure you could probably get some pretty nice friction and..........uhm nevermind.
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: fre4d4 on November 24, 2007, 01:54:46 PM
Dam clips my eyes are tearing in pain from that thought
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Titan on November 24, 2007, 09:49:34 PM
I\'m sure it wouldn\'t be too bad with some KY Jelly
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: fre4d4 on November 28, 2007, 02:31:16 AM
Quote from: Titan
I\'m sure it wouldn\'t be too bad with some KY Jelly


Titan im not sure there would be anything left after the spokes tore it apart.
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: Titan on November 28, 2007, 12:30:30 PM
Quote from: fre4d4
Titan im not sure there would be anything left after the spokes tore it apart.


That\'s why you lube the spokes too jingleberry
Title: Man caught having sex with a bike.
Post by: MPTheory on November 29, 2007, 07:28:20 AM
maybe h poped the rubber cap of the handlebar. When the cop walked in he shouted "Why the hell do you have a bike on your cock?!?!"  The man replied "Yarrrr, Drives me nuts!"