PSX5Central
Non Gaming Discussions => Off-Topic => Topic started by: §ôµÏG®ïñD on November 02, 2016, 08:17:53 AM
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Hello guys, long time no see. Well i lost my job at techsys corporation. They decided to move to another state and i wasn't interested in moving. So i got this new job at a company called Sanmina, they're a large world wide company and I'm basically currently being trained to repair their hand held scanners. It doesn't pay that great, not compared to my last job and it's only a casual job with FT hrs. So the money would be a lot less if i went full-time.
i haven't slept in 2 days from first day jitters. I have work in 3 hours and haven't slept a wink.
Their training isn't exactly easy to follow, they basically sat me down with a guy who did everything and i just watched for a good 4 - 5 hrs then was pretty much told to start doing it myself. I'm able to ask questions but I'm feeling a lot of anxiety about this job. I've gone from knowing everything about my job to knowing nothing. I hate that feeling.
any of you guys gone through this? i seem to freak out a lot with new jobs. I have no idea why, having full sleep would be far more beneficial to my health and learning speed. It's almost making me want to quit this job before I've even started it.
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glad to hear from you. just for curiosity, how much is the pays from the older job to the newer job?
since 6th grade, because of an injury from the left side of my head, i suffer from social anxiety disorder and other problems too. that is one of the biggest reasons why i don't go to work. my anxiety disorder makes me nervous around people. that is another reason why i don't have any real-life friends.
i didn't know i have s.a.d. (social anxiety disorder) until early 2013 is when i realized that. before that, i thought i was shy around people but it took around 16 to 17 years later to realized i have s.a.d.
in summer of 2001, i did work as a custodian aide for a little over 2 months. i got stressed out from work mostly from my first boss who is mean and lazy. i worked for her for about a month and a half before i switched boss from a different school. this new boss is a hard worker, not lazy, and a lot nicer when he tell us what to clean in this new school. i was a lot less stressed out from my 2nd boss, i worked for him for only 3 weeks before summer is over and i have to go back to high school again.
so you can say that is my first and last job that i ever work. since then, i haven't work because of head injury that gives s.a.d., paranoia, lost sense of direction (like a broken compass), retardation, and i get stress out easily. i also get irritated and agitated easily from the head injury. it makes me become crazy and abusive that eventually led me to juvenile hall in 2000. luckily, nearly 3 years later, i got a surgery to remove the scar on my head and the blood and oxygen can flow easily that i no longer get irritated or agitated easily. i no longer becoming abusive except for one time i beat up my mom in august 2003 but that wasn't because of the scar on the left side of my head but from a hot shower that gives me hot head. that was probably the last time i become abusive to anybody, i do feel bad and guilty about it though.
i used to be kind of angry that i wasn't able to work or go to school and don't have any friends to past time in this past 14 years of my life. but this past week or so, i appreciate the free time that i have. sure, i can't work or go to school, and am a loner, but at least i don't have to worry about school or work or get stress out from it. i also don't have to take responsibility say from work either. it not until this past week or so, i realized that because i don't work i don't get stress out and appreciate the free time in my hand. at least there is a pro out of a bunch of cons that i have. :)
hopefully, you are able to sleep and get a full rest to recover from the 2 days of no sleep. you seems pretty smart, you made me learned something new recently about volts time amps equal watts. and you taught me that hertz means things that happen in a second. i never knew that and you taught me. so, i think you understand electric and electronics way more than i do. so hope all is well for you.
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Hello guys, long time no see. Well i lost my job at techsys corporation. They decided to move to another state and i wasn't interested in moving. So i got this new job at a company called Sanmina, they're a large world wide company and I'm basically currently being trained to repair their hand held scanners. It doesn't pay that great, not compared to my last job and it's only a casual job with FT hrs. So the money would be a lot less if i went full-time.
i haven't slept in 2 days from first day jitters. I have work in 3 hours and haven't slept a wink.
Their training isn't exactly easy to follow, they basically sat me down with a guy who did everything and i just watched for a good 4 - 5 hrs then was pretty much told to start doing it myself. I'm able to ask questions but I'm feeling a lot of anxiety about this job. I've gone from knowing everything about my job to knowing nothing. I hate that feeling.
any of you guys gone through this? i seem to freak out a lot with new jobs. I have no idea why, having full sleep would be far more beneficial to my health and learning speed. It's almost making me want to quit this job before I've even started it.
Damn dude. Sorry to hear about your loss of your job. Were you this nervous when you started your last job? I'm kinda taking away from this that you aren't too crazy about this new job and the training are getting the better of you, causing a great deal of stress which is what's fucking with your sleep schedule. I think your subconscious could telling you that this probably isn't the place to be. Though I don't know what your financial situation is if you could just quit your job. I personally never leave a job unless I have something else lined up. I feel that no one should feel undue stress because of their job. And their training is absolute horse shit. You don't train employees by saying 'here's what I do' and then expect them to do it. People learn through hands on training. My dad does the same thing when "teaching" me mechanics then gets frustrated when I don't know what I'm doing, lol.
You aren't alone in feeling nervous though about starting a new job. We all get those little jitters. I lost a little sleep on my last two jobs from being nervous about meeting expectations. When I worked at the photo studio, it was a lot of hands on training but it was a lot to take in from learning how to pose people to learning different shots and all that jazz. My job now, I had to learn a lot of expertise with my particular job, which I had no office experience so it was a steep learning curve from going from a studio artistic setting to a corporate one. I lost a little sleep yes. But I love the company I work for and the people I work with so it all worked out in the end to the point I'm now comfortable with buying a house (which is the reason I too haven't been around much here).
Only you can evaluate your situation and make the best decision for you.
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thought i'd update you guys with the latest, i'm still at the same job. Pretty much on the same money i was on at the last job now. People are awesome and i've made a lot of new mates there. Heaps of them are gamers too. I repair 6 different units now and will be trained as a product lead soon. Although i don't really want to stay at this job as it is quite boring and i tend to watch youtube vids all day while working.
Life is good atm so can't complain. I tend to wonder here every now and then but this place seems to be pretty dead. I don't frequent forums generally at all anymore. Such is life.
Hows things anyway?
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hello soulgrind, glad to hear that you are doing good. glad to hear that people you are working with are awesome and you made a lot of new friends there. i can understand on the watching youtube too much part which can be very boring. i fractured my left palm below the thumb 4 months ago and it still doesn't heal up 100% yet. the first 70 days when i fractured my left thumb, i didn't know it was fractured. the first couple of weeks i kind of suspect it but disregard it and so i used my left thumb normally like washing dishes almost everyday and the ache doesn't go away.
i even washed and cleaned the refrigerator on March 3, and the containers are heavy as i poured water in it as i washed them. i even rubbed eucalyptus oil on my left thumb and below it for 10 days straight of the last 70 days and the ache doesn't go away. So that is when i was convinced and believed that the palm below my left thumb is fractured. so i stopped washing dishes and tried not to use my left thumb as much as possible to let it heal up 100%.
43 days as i let it heals up, i moved my left thumb again and i was hoping it was healed up 100% by then but after a couple days later, the ache came back. in those 2 days, i wash dishes normally and even played on the monkey bars, a zipline, practice martial arts like tae-kwon-do, and worked out in the park where there are workout equipments there and then the ache below my left thumb came back. it made me regret moving and using my left thumb after 43 days later when i let it heal. So obviously, 43 days of healing isn't enough.
in 12 days of the 43 days that i let it healed, i even went to a family doctor to let him permitted me to get x-ray on my left palm. i was supposed to see him 8 days later because his clients are packed in those days and i couldn't see him sooner but on the 13th day which is 12 days later that i let my palm healed, i called my doctor and my mom talked on the phone for me and the receptionist said if i wanted to go see a doctor soon, i can come in today and wait till the doctor is done with his other clients. i don't mind waiting so my mom drove me to see a doctor and i waited for about 2 hours before i get called into the clinic's room. the doctor checked my left thumb and below it and when he first touched it gracefully, it doesn't hurt but like a couple minutes later it ached. so it took like a couple minutes for it to ache. before the ach started coming back, he said he could permit me to get it x-ray if i wanted too and i nodded and said yes.
so my mom took me to this hospital and get my left palm x-ray. she took 3 x-rays of my left palm and that time i didn't think much of it but some minutes later after i got x-rays and my mom took me home on the way, i find that the way she took my x-rays is weird. the first 2 x-rays she took was on the back of my palm with one shot with my fingers together and the 2nd shot with my fingers slightly apart. the injuried was on the front of my palm, not the back so why did she took only the back side of my palm only. i remembered asking her that time if i need to put the front of my palm up and she said the x-ray goes through it so no need. and the 3rd x-ray she took of my left palm, she told me to move my left palm to the side and twist it so my left palm face up but in a weird position. at least it face up so hopefully x-ray can see it better.
Anyway, 8 days later, i received a call saying the doctor checked the x-ray pictures and said he couldn't find anything wrong with my hand or left thumb or below it or something like it. and the receptionist also suggested that if i wanted more test, i can go see a specialist. i don't want to see a specialist after i took 3 x-rays and they said nothing is wrong with my thumb. i have a feeling they are going to say its normal even if i go see a specialist about it. another weird thing is the doctor didn't check on the box of the permitted paper for my x-ray - that he didn't checked the box that said a copy of the x-ray to the CD for the patience. if he had checked that, then i would receive a copy of it and i can view it on a computer. but he didn't.
so after a total of 43 days later i let my left thumb heal, i was hoping it all healed up but it didn't heal up 100% and i was disappointed in myself for using my left thumb still kind of early but i didn't know so i shouldn't be too hard on myself. in these 4 months because of the ache below my left thumb, i couldn't practice much tae-kwon-do and other martial arts, i couldn't play much on the monkey bars or zipline, especially when i found out i cracked my bone below my left thumb, i didn't dare do those fun stuffs at the park. even at home, i couldn't play videogames because of it. there are moments i fall into depressions because of it. i wasted 4 precious months of my life unabe to do those fun stuffs. especially practicing tae-kwon-do and other martial arts mostly because i am kind of old, but not too old. i am 34 years old now but not as old as 40 years old or older, so that mean i wasted those 4 precious months and still counting of little and limited practice of martial arts. i am afraid by the time i reach 40 years old, i worry that i might not be able to improve on my tae-kwon-do and other martial arts because i worry at that age and later is a bit too old to get any improvement on these martial arts.
during those 4 months, my family and other probably didn't believe that i fractured my palm below my left thumb and i struggled to prove to them but i explained to them in very good detail that i am not pretending that the bone below my left thumb is fractured because it doesn't benefit me much at all because it only wasted my precious time of not being able to practice tae-kwon-do and other martial arts fully. sure i don't have to wash dishes if my palm is fractured but i rather wash dishes if it heal up 100% or not fractured just so i have something to do to past time and it makes me feel good after i finish washing dishes to see the sink is neat and tidy. not only that but i couldn't play videogames either to past time so it doesn't really benefit me if i pretend which proof that i didn't pretend.
sorry for my long story but i have to let it out to proof my innocence. i am not sure how long it will take for it to heal up 100% but i worry i have to restart it again worry that it might take another 2 months of healing for it to heal up 100%. during the healing process, i could feel my left palm heal up as i could feel a cool liquid traveling inside it as it in the process of mending it. then there are time it felt like a soothing warm liquid healing inside. maybe when i no longer felt the liquid inside healing up, it might means its 100% heal up. but i might not move it for like another 5 days just to be sure. i worry i have to redo this again and it might take 2 months for it to heal up and i will give it another 5 days just to be sure. but hopefully it won't take 2 months but hopefully in just another couple of weeks or so. but i will see.
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thought i'd update you guys with the latest, i'm still at the same job. Pretty much on the same money i was on at the last job now. People are awesome and i've made a lot of new mates there. Heaps of them are gamers too. I repair 6 different units now and will be trained as a product lead soon. Although i don't really want to stay at this job as it is quite boring and i tend to watch youtube vids all day while working.
Life is good atm so can't complain. I tend to wonder here every now and then but this place seems to be pretty dead. I don't frequent forums generally at all anymore. Such is life.
Hows things anyway?
Things are pretty good. I too can't complain. Been really busy lately so it's tough for me to come on here except maybe once or twice a week on the weekends to help keep up with maintenance (though Kurt beats me too it, lol). Still at the same job at a party retailer in the corporate office. The cat is much bigger now but she's just as crazy as ever. Spring just sprung here in the States so when I can I try to do outside stuff. Like today I put new shocks on my Jeep and it rides much smoother. You'd never guess there is close to 174k miles on this thing! If the weather is nice next weekend, I'm going to try to build a headboard for my bed and get some more woodworking done this summer. I got lots of furniture I need to build this year before winter :) I really need to make it a point to post my projects on here. I've done a lot of things in the last year I'm proud of but I tend to throw them up on Facebook and Instagram. I need to start sharing those things with you guys.
The other thing I got into recently is home brewing. I'm loving it and have gotten a couple batches done already. I'm getting some new brewing equipment soon so I'll be doing bigger batches.
Yeah. Place is pretty dead but not any deader than it's been in the last few years, lol. We get a new member wander in once in a while either from referrals from other sites or through Tapatalk. Either way, no matter to me. It's a place for old e-friends to keep in touch. Plus, this place costs next to nothing to run and my credit card gets charged monthly automatically so it'll be up for the foreseeable future :D I barely notice the charges, lol. I was working on some things to spruce up this place but life took a turn, adulting happened and video games fell by the wayside. I have other priorities that have pulled my attention. I may do something with the PS5 but not sure yet.
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here is an update: so in july 19, i got my thumb MRI and it took two times to get it done without my thumb shaking too much. the first time, there aren't enough cushions on my left arm and my thumb shakes quite a lot uncontrollably during the MRI. i tried my best not to let it shake but it shakes by itself and about an hour later. the MRI specialist told me to do it again because of the shaking. this time, i told them to put more cushions to my left arm and she put more cushions to my entire left arm which is better than i expected.
as the machine moves in, i realize the cushion for my feet is also important too because as i lay down, its hard to hold my thumb still without shaking. so i told another MRI specialist about it and he gave me cushion for my feet. and when the machine moves in all the way, i lay my head down and i realize i need more cushions for head too as its quite uncomfortable for my head to rest on just one cushion and it hard to let my left thumb hold still completely. since the machine move in already so i suppose it was too late to ask them for more cushions for my head and beside, i am too scare to bother them for more cushions.
thankfully, thanks to enough cushions for my left arm and feet, my left thumb probably stay still a lot better. it probably shake a little bit here and there i suppose and shake a lot less too i think. i am just hoping since i couldn't see my thumb as my arm was stretch pretty much all the way out and above my head and on the MRI machine. this time it took like 20 to 30 minutes and they said i am done. probably the mri pictures come out much better i suppose.
on july 21, i got a call saying i need to redo the mri again because my thumb shakes too much and the pictures come out blurry and i said its because i don't have enough cushions. that time i didn't realize i wasn't specific enough by that i meant not enough cushions for my head. i am retarded so i couldn't give good detail information many of the times. anyway, so she said on the phone they could give me more cushions and i asked is the MRI safe because i am afraid of radiation and she said yeah its safe and it doesn't have radiation like x-ray or something like that. so i said yes and willing to go on monday that she appointed me and have another MRI.
the next day, july 22, on sunday, i received a call in the morning saying i don't have to go to MRI again and i asked if the pictures [taken on july 19] come out okay or something like that and she said something like yes and the results are okay and she reminded me again not to go for MRI again on monday. i was relieved and felt happy. that probably meant the pictures taken on july 19 on the 2nd time are readable and my thumb doesn't shake as much or something. i believe later that night i took zyprexa for my psych med, and i could feel it working for my brain. i could feel it repair the chemicals in my head a little bit or something like that. that might have meant they believe i have a torn ligament on my thumb from the MRI pictures so they gave me the real zyprexa.
on august 6, i was appointed to see a hand therapist at the rehab therapy. hours before i go, i could feel the chemical repairing in my brain like quite a lot or something like that. its been 15 days already since they gave me the real zyprexa, so i tried to pronounce some words with the letter R and i have almost little to no accent pronouncing it. that was a welcoming surprise, because of the injury on the left side of my head when i was either 11 or 12 years old, it made me struggle and pronounce some words with the letter R with an accent. i didn't know that, i always thought it was because i came to america when i just turned 7 years old that i speak some words with the letter R with an accent. it turns out, that wasn't really the case as the psych med zyprexa repairs the chemical in my brain. i can speak all words, if not all words pretty much all words with the letter R without an accent. so it took 15 days of taking the real zyprexa to see the result. cool.
i am kind of tired right now. i will continue with my update about my thumb later.
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I had an MRI once because of knee pain. They're a bitch and a half. IIRC, they only stuck my leg in the machine, I had on head phones and fell asleep. Couldn't complain. I got out of work and had a decent nap on top of it. And my insurance was good so they paid for all of it.
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yeah, i think knee pain you had was from working at a photo store or something where you have to stand for a long time. btw, is your knee doing better now? is it 100% normal like walking and moving like your other knee is?
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I originally hurt it when I was 13 skiing. Then I played lacrosse in high school and it bothered me on and off but wrapping it was good enough. Wasn't until I worked in the studio and being on it for 10 hours a day that it went South. It's better now. I have my good and bad days. 9/10 it's fine but it has it's moments. When I do anything strenuous I'll put on my knee brace.
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sad and sorry to hear about that. somewhat surprise to know that even you have your own problems too especially physical health problem. when you were 13 years old when you injured your knee, did you let your knee heal up in 90 days before moving it again? like put on a brace and use a crutch or a wheelchair when you feel like walking or something so you won't damage your knee during the healing process.
a welcoming surprise to know that you have another talent is that you can ski. cool. B)
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No. I just wrapped it and got on with my life lol. Usually what I do when I get injured. Like last night. I was pruning some cat grass for my cat with a set of garden sheers. I wasn't paying attention and was moving quickly and got my finger stuck between the blades. It was really deep and I was bleeding everywhere. I wrapped a paper towel on it, when the bleeding slowed, I put on antibacterial cream and bandaged it up and cracked a beer and watched a movie, lol.
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oh. did you see a doctor after the skiing accident? if you do, they probably give you a knee brace and probably recommend that you to let it heal for as long as 90 days and try not to move it...
the MRI you had a few years ago, what did the doctor says about that?
i suggest you not to use anti bacterial cream on your injured finger because that can make the bacteria more resistance to it i think but to only use regular ointment.
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oh. did you see a doctor after the skiing accident? if you do, they probably give you a knee brace and probably recommend that you to let it heal for as long as 90 days and try not to move it...
the MRI you had a few years ago, what did the doctor says about that?
i suggest you not to use anti bacterial cream on your injured finger because that can make the bacteria more resistance to it i think but to only use regular ointment.
I honestly don't remember if I saw a doctor or not. It was like 20 years ago.
With the MRI, the doctor said I have a patella (knee cap) tracking issue. He wanted to rule out a tear in the minuscus and he didn't see a tear so I went to physical therapy to strengthen the muscles. It worked for the most part but I didn't keep up with the exercises. When I was in the gym last year, I did leg exercises and it did help.
It's either I put on antibacterial cream or it gets infected. It's a very deep cut. And the bacterial resistance to antibiotics is more of the fact humans have been using the same antibiotic pills for illnesses for many years. The resistance is a global issue, not within ones own body. Over the years, natural selection happened where bacteria became resistant to antibiotics over the course of many years.
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oh, okay. cool. B)
when you did leg exercises at the gym last year, did it help heal your knee to 100%?
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Not 100% but I noticed a difference in how it felt.
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i see. cool.
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Another update: so later that day on august 6, i went to a hand therapist and he massaged my left hand where i got the torn ligament which should have been healed up by now. afterward, he gave me 2 pages of like 7 pictures of thumb exercises to do at home twice a day and he showed me how too. He also braced my thumb with something like a bandaged. like 1 or 2 days later, i don't use the bandage brace for my thumb anymore probably because my thumb felt more comfortable without it. i also did the 7 ways of thumb exercises like the pictures shown for twice a day for like 15 days is when i became suspicious the instructions on the pictures to do the thumb exercises doesn't help me get rid of the pain but cause more pain and i might injured it. Because its been 15 days already and the bone on my left thumb still aches and probably aches more. So i stop doing the thumb exercises for 1 day and the ache reduce somewhat. if i remember correctly, the ligament below the lower right side of my left thumb doesn't hurt anymore but the bone on my left thumb does hurt though from continuously doing the thumb exercises twice a day for 15 days straight.
During those 15 days, i also was appointed to see the hand therapist twice a week for him to give me hand massage therapy and do other thumb exercises there too. On the 3rd time i see him if i remember correctly, i acted weird and smile like there is something funny as he was talking and he was probably referring to me when he said that wasn't funny. by that he meant that wasn't funny so why was i laughing.
the next day after that, my mom took me to this restaurant where the manager of this restaurant is a bully, that i didn't bother going in to his restaurant to eat but i went to a nearby restaurant to eat instead. my mom ate at his restaurant though. when i finished eating at a nearby restaurant, i went in to the bully manager's restaurant to wait for my mom to finished eating there. i also see the bully manager there too and i don't like him because he like discriminated against me years prior when i never did anything to him but he gave me contaminated drink or food or something like that. its his workers that gave me the contaminated coconut to drink but he is the manager so he is probably in charge and ordered his workers to do that to me. I also remember he gave me an angry look as i entered his restaurant that time. Again, i don't know him and i didn't do anything to him but he gave me an angry look and was probably the one behind contaminating the coconut for me to drink. i drink it for like 2 to 3 times, then i don't want to drink it anymore, so my mom said she is going to drink it and she did. i was surprise my mom drank it all. i kind of feel sorry for her and i was and still am angry at the bully manager and his workers.
So this time after waiting for my mom to finish eating, we both left the restaurant. the next day i see the hand therapist again which is the 4th time i see him, after he messaged my palm and my thumb, he massaged all the way up to my arm and he rubbed it really hard and it hurt my arm. this is the first time he rubbed my arm and rubbed it really hard. my arm wasn't injure so why did he rubbed my arm for and rub it hard to injure it? that time i thought maybe its because the previous time i was there, i was smiling about something not funny and i thought he was being hard on me because of it. that time i was dumb not realizing i didn't do anything to him so why did he hurt and injured my left arm for? i also didn't make the connection the day prior where i see the bully manager at the restaurant that i didn't do anything mean to the manager either that contaminated my coconut drink years prior and i didn't bother eating at his restaurant this time.
so this hand therapist bullied me by rubbing my arm really hard just because either i was smiling about something that is not funny and/or that i didn't like the bully manager? i have the right to not like the bully manager because he discriminated against me in the first place when i didn't do anything mean to him either years prior.
when the hand therapist gave me hand massage, one of the things he did was he bent my thumb toward the bottom of my pinky finger and he told me to hold it. that was sneaky of him wording it like that, i thought when he said hold it, he meant to use my other hand to hold my left thumb toward my left pinky finger but when i did that he said hold it in place which mean leave my left thumb bend toward my left pinky finger. he was being sneaky to not say leave it bend like that but instead said hold it to make me not suspicious of what he is trying to do.
If he said leave it bend, i might become suspicious of what he is trying to do. no wonder my left thumb aches when i leave it bend toward the bottoim of my pinky finger for like 10 seconds long. i didn't realize that until a day after the 5th time i saw him when i still do hand exercises at home twice a day and i still feel my left thumb ache and ache more after 15 days is when i become suspicious. so i stop doing hand exercise for one day and some of the ache went away is when i realized i been trick.
so the 6th time i see him, coincidentally was the last time i had an appointment with him, i refused to let him do me hand massage and i select what kind of hand therapy i wanted to do with by myself that doesn't hurt my thumb. i also showed his co-worker a montage pic of bush looks like a monkey comparison and she laughed when she saw it. i also show it to the hand therapist too and he said he seen it before and the other guy he is doing hand therapy to at that time said doesn't that what most republicans look like. i agreed inside me.
so when i was done with the comfortable hand exercises that i gave myself, i said bye to the hand therapist and he told me to make sure i tell the receptionist to cancel all future appointments i have with him and i said today was the last day i had an appointment and i didn't make any new appointments with him, so do i need to tell the receptionist to cancel it and he said since i didn't make any new appointments, i don't need to tell her that. at least he was nice enough to remind me to cancel all appointments with him just in case. so i left and said bye and he said bye back.
during that time, i still take 10 mg of zyprexa and its reduce some of the accents with some of the english word with the letter Rs but not completely though. After taking the real zyprexa for like 3 weeks or so and i still have a slight accent with some of the english word with the letter R. it led me to believe if i taken 20 mg of it, it might rid of my accent completely or at least nearly completely. so the next time i saw my psychiatrist, i asked her if she can double the dosage of zyprexa to 20 mg and she kindly did and i did manage to take it for like 8 days and after 8 days, it made me too sleepy and it doesn't seem to be the real zyprexa or something if i remember correctly that i called my social worker if she can asked my psychiatrist if i can go back to 10 because 20 mg makes me too sleepy and she did.
Edited: Actually now that i think about, i think i didn't ask her if she can prescribe me 20 mg of zyprexa but i asked her if i can take two 10 mg of zyprexas from the left over pills that i still have left. i have like 16 pills of 10 mg of zyprexa in my current bottle that time. She said i can if i don't sleep too much, if i sleep too much again, i can go back down to 10 mg. i actually didn't call the social worker about it when i started to sleep too much after about 8 days later that i just go back down to 10 mg like the psychiatrist said.
that was probably around september 2018. in late december 2018, my left thumb still ached somewhat and i wasn't sure if the ligament that ached or the bone in my thumb ached, so i let my left thumb rest for 5 days straight before using it again for like washing dishes and playing video games. i think the reason why its still ache is because i try to fix the bend of my left thumb by either bending back and forth to correct it from the damage that was cause by the hand therapist and the 15 days of me doing thumb exercises for twice a day back in august. me trying to correct it by overdoing it by bending back and forth, i think i made it worst somewhat. after 5 days of letting it rest, i believed the ligament below the lower right of my left side healed up completely a long time ago since late july or early august of 2018 and it doesn't ache but the ache comes from the thumb, possibly from the bone in the thumb.
even now that i think about it, i wonder if it will make any difference if i let it rest for 1 more extra day to make it 6 days of rest instead of 5, but i doubt it. So late last year, i learned from experience to not bending it forth to correct it and then probably worry i bend it forth too much that i bent it back to correct that i overdid it. so i tried to stop doing that and 3 months later, most of the pain on my left thumb is gone. i crack my left thumb with my four left fingers usually and it feels good too since late december of last year. to this day, i can still feel a bit of ache in my lower left thumb but its very bearable that i don't mind much.
in march of this year when i see the psychiatrist, i asked her if she can increased my zyprexa to 20 mg to reduce my social anxiety disorder, paranoia, and reduce to rid of my english accent with the letter r and she said increased to 15 mg first to see if i still sleep too much before moving up to 20 mg. i totally agree with her and its safer that way.
after 1 week of taking 15 mg of zyprexa, i can speak some english words with the letter r with lesser accent than before and sometimes no accent too. i feel happy.
so just this april, i see the psychiatrist again, and she is willing to increase it to 20 mg and after taking it for a few days, it reduce my accent with the letter r when speaking english words, but some words i still have an accent though. as of this writing, it been 9 days since i took 20 mg and it still hasn't completely rid of my accent yet which make me believe i probably need to go higher than 20 mg. maybe 25, and if 25 still doesn't do, i am willing to go up to 30 mg and that is probably the highest i am willing to take.
the unfortunate things are, even though the real zyprexa does reduce to rid some of the english accent i have, it doesn't reduce my social anxiety disorder or paranoia as much as i like though. Even taking 20 mg of the real zyprexa, the anxiety and paranoia only reduce slightly. like from 3.3 out of 10 for social anxiety disorder down to only 2.9 and paranoia from 4 out of 10 before taking 20 mg of zyprexa to like down to 3.5 out of 10. that is not a lot though. i am hoping if increasing it to 25 mg or 30 mg might reduce it more but i am not sure how much. i would like for my social anxiety disorder and paranoia to go down to 0 completely but i am not sure if taking as much as 30 mg per a night will do though. either way, i will probably unlikely go higher than 30 mg though. i will ask my psychiatrist on what she thinks the next time i see her though.
Sorry for my very long update though.