« Last post by Paul2 on May 14, 2020, 05:58:16 PM »
suck that you been through periods of depression too. Hope that you are feeling better now and no more depressions.speaking about retro consoles, 2 years ago i bought a super nintendo classic mini and didn't play it until 3 months later because i got a torn ligament on my left hand during that time. i let it heal up for 3 months before i play the snes mini. i enjoyed playing super mario world, mega man x1, contra 3, street fighter 2 turbo, and zelda alttp.
i am still at the beginning of contra 3 and i haven't beaten it yet because its a hard game to play and i lost most interest in playing video games this past nearly 5 and a half year. i also lost most interest in watching videos/movies too in this past nearly 5 and a half years too. something is controlling my brain and heart that make depress and lost interest that the only interest i have left is listening to musics be it songs with singers voice or just plain musics like videogames musics.
i thoroughly enjoy zelda alttp and i have to watch a walkthrough on youtube to play the game and find its secrets. so far, i only complete 70% of the game in this past nearly 2 years of playing this game. i play it on and off mostly because of lost interests and there are few times where i got my interest back that i jump back to continue the game.
I'm sorry to hear that paul. Depression can be a bitch and it's nothing you can control. Just try to manage it the best you can. I know I can go through periods of depression. I've never talked to anyone about it (but I know I probably should. But lets face it, I can't afford to pay someone to treat it when it pops up) but I know it's there. I'll through periods where I'm not interested in anything. Things that make me happy just don't. And then as quickly as it comes, it goes and I'm fine.
speaking of depression, a little over 5 and a half year ago on early November 2014, i made some comments on some vietnamese music videos on youtube and some of the comments i made that i didn't even remember i made until a little over 4 years later i was reminded of what comments i made, i finally realize there are some misunderstandings going on. the comments i made that i didn't remember were the comments about the pine tree on the stage that the singer was singing in this music video. since the theme of this music videos are about christmas holiday, i made the comment saying this pine tree should get lights decoration and the lights should be multi-colored because there are no light decorations on the plain pine tree.
i said that in hoping that the scientists and the governments might think i am very creative like extremely creative or something like that. i didn't realize by making that comment is misleading to the scientists and the governments. it didn't cross my mind that it might be misleading. the scientists didn't get misled, instead they misunderstood and thought i was exaggerating about my creativity.
i also made comments about the plain white balloons on top of the stage that some of the balloons should be color red, and green beside white to represent christmas holiday. my ideas aren't that creative such as that christmas lights on the pine tree and having color red and green balloons beside white. i completely forgotten i made that comments on youtube until over 4 years later, i was reminded of it and i got embarassed about the balloons on top of the stage should have other colors beside white because this time, i realize the white balloons on the top side of the stage represents cloud in the sky that is why it should be white.
i didn't exaggerate, i made those comments in early november 2014 in hoping the scientists and the governments to think i am extremely creative. but they didn't think that, instead, they misunderstood thinking i exaggerate my creativity.
during that time, i also made another comment on another music video on youtube saying the prince walking at the end of the video should have a better outfit or costume as an opinion of mine and i also googled prince costume during that time and there are much better prince costumes that came up from google that i googled than the costume that the prince was wearing in the video. i made that comment as an opinion of mine, didn't know there is a misunderstanding thinking i exaggerate my creativity or my talent thinking i am a very good fashion designer or sewing person. i didn't pretend i am a very good fashion designer or sewing person and i have no interest in making clothes, i made that comment as an opinion of mine thinking there are better prince outfits out there. didn't know they would misinterpreted that. its not until more than 4 years later that i realize they misinterpreted that.
so after a day or two when i made those youtube comments, the scientists and the governments drugged me. the drug makes me angry and i didn't know why they drugged me and i was drugged on and off for about 5 and a half month then i ended up in a mental hospital. During those times, i don't know why they drugged me and i thought probably because i am immortal and they are mortals, so they try to make my life miserable and put me in a mental hospital because of that.
if i did exaggerate, likely to very likely i would have figure out why they drug me say like after a couple of hours after they first drugged me again during that time. if not after a couple of hours later or so, then maybe a few days or at most weeks later after they drugged me on and off to figure that out. but i didn't exaggerate, so i didn't know why they kept drugging me on and off and it took me nearly 2 years later to figure that out (about 3 months shy of 2 years).
Not only that but in beginning of 2015 around january 2015 till now. beside drugging me that make me get angry easily, they also drugged me to make me depress that i lost interest in movies/videos and videogames that i rarely to seldom watch movies/videos or play much video games. i did lost interest in videogames somewhat after high school was over which is summer of 2002 but this past 5 years ish, i lost interest in videogames even more so. luckily, the only left that i still have interest left was listen to musics like songs or videogames musics that i spent everyday listening to musics a lot like when at home i lay down in bed to listen to musics, or go to the gym with my headphones on, or to a fast food place listening to music with my headphones on.
Especially lately, because of the lockdown that i can't go to the gym that i listen to more musics at home laying down in bed or walk around the block listening to musics. i listen to musics so much lately that i there are times that i don't want to listen to music anymore but just lay down in bed to clear my mind and let the hours past by being wasted. those wasted hours on most days and the amount of time i spent listening musics, i could have use it to watch movies/videos, or play videogames instead.
not only, it took me 5 years later after i was put in a mental hospital to realize that even if they still don't believe me and still think i exaggerate, i already got punish and put in a mental hospital in late april 2015. i serve my times there which is 15 days lock up in a mental hospital before they release me. when they release me, i didn't get to go back to live at my mom's house but i was transferred to live at a board and care and i live there nearly another 8 months before i get to live with my mom's house for good. on the weekends i did get to go to my mom's house to live as a vacation during those nearly 8 months living in board and care but i feel freer and much more comfortable when i get to move back to my mom's house.
what i am trying to say is, even if they don't believe me and still think i exaggerate, i already paid my punishment by being locked up in mental hospital for 15 days. before they put me in a mental hospital, they drugged me on and off for 5 about a half months making me angry and lost interest in movies/videos and videogames and i already paid that punishment too. After that, i live in board and care and the manager there is usually nice to very nice to me but some of the residents there can be unfairly mean at me a few times.
A month before i move back to live with my mom, i eat cookies there at night and they are left over cookies that the manager has passed out 2 nights prior. the evening earlier, she passed out new snack so was the night prior to that. So there are left over cookies that she has put in front of the kitchen window for 2 nights already, i opened up the cookie jar and took out some cookies to eat. while doing so, i heard the the restroom door opened, the manager's friend walked out of the restroom. i got paranoid and my social anxiety is acting up that i sneakily took the cookies out and then put the cookie jar away sneakily on the window's porch. the reason i did that was because the manager's friend walked out of the restroom and my paranoia acted up making me worry that she might think i stole those cookies if she see me and my social anxiety disorder will prevent me to explain to her that its left over cookies so i secretly took out the cookies and sneakily put the cookie jar back into the window's porch.
had it been the manager or one of the residents that walked out of the restroom or the manager walking out of her bedroom, i won't have to do it sneakily because i knew that was the manager intention to put the left over cookies in the cookie jar and in front of the window so we residents can eat it anytime we want. otherwise, as times go by, it will expire and rot in the cookie jar an she probably has to throw them out. not only that but had it been the manager that walked out of her bedroom to the kitchen or walk out of the restroom to the kitchen for that matter, very likely i would ask her if i can eat the cookies in the cookie jar to verify that its a yes.
so some days later afterward, they thought i stole cookies that they drugged me and made me increase my appetite that i eat a lot that i gained weigh for about 6 months before they made me lose some weight back. in May 2016 if i remember correctly, i gained as much as 27 pounds before they made me lose some weigh back and i only weigh 15 pounds overweight instead. i didn't make the connection that they probably thought i stole cookies that is why they punished me by making me increasing my appetite.
about 8 months ish later, in august 2016, i clarify to titan about the cookies incident somewhat in a forum that after i explained to titan. i realize they probably wrongfully punished me by letting me drinking two large size cup of green tea frappuccino in a day or 2 fays straight in early december that i thought wasn't big of a deal. its not until either december 2017 or maybe december 2018 (i can't remember that well) that i realize they didn't make me drink two cup of large size frappuccino only but they made me increase my appetite that i eat a lot for like 6 months before i start to eat somewhat less again.
in very late april 22 to early morning of april 23, 2015, my mom drugged me making me angry. Then she left to her bedroom and locked the door. because of the drug that made me angry that i knocked on my mom bedroom's door telling her to open up. but she didn't open, so i tried to scare her by saying i have a knife even though i don't have a knife in my hand. my stupid action made my mom called the police.
the police came and opened the main door and its take a few seconds for my eyes to focus and during those few seconds, i saw something moved in front of me but i couldn't tell it was a police man pointing the gun at me. i turned to my left side seeing another police pointing the gun at me, as i was about to get focus and see the police man pointing the gun at me on my left side, that police told me to put my hands up and i got scare that i put my hands up. he then told me to walked toward him or something like that and i did, as i was walking, i asked him where do i put my cellphone. he told me to put it there which is on the stair case block or something like that. i put the cell phone there and then with both my hands still up, i approached him and then he cuffed both my hands.
then he told me to sit down on the chair outside in the porch and asked me what happened. i told him that i told my mom i have a knife even though i don't have a knife. that time i was quite scare that i don't mind if they put me in a mental hospital because after the two police men pointing guns at me, i suffered a very mild to mild post traumatic stress disorder seeing that they might have shot me when they pointed guns at me and i told them where do i put my cellphone, this police man told me to put it on top of the staircase, but what if the other police man didn't hear and thought i was doing something dangerous with one of my hand put down as i put the cellphone on the staircase and he might shoot me because of it.
i realize how dumb i am, worst than that, how real it is, and how dangerous it is. what if one of the policeman or both policemen shoot me and lie that they shoot me in self defense or lie that i was charging after them with a knife. thankfully the policemen did their job that they didn't shoot me that i thank them a lot in my head for hours saying i am extremely thankful that neither of the policemen abuse their power and shoot me. i suffered a slight ptsd because what happened that night where the two policemen pointed guns at me.
fast foward to 5 years later, in may 2, 2020, i realized something that doesn't matter if i exaggerate or not, i got punished by being put in a mental hospital for 15 days already and live in board and care for nearly another 8 months before i moved back to live with my mom. exaggerate or not, i already paid my punishments already, so why still drugged me which either make me angry or depress for 5 and a half years. in this past 5 and a half year, i got drugged up as much as 300ish to 500ish times already. that is way overkill for something that is not big of a deal. the saddest thing about it, i got punish for something i am innocent of.
if i am guilty of exaggerating my creativity, i would have admit it if its true but i didn't exaggerate that though. especially something that is not big of a deal. its not like i murdered or raped someone that i don't want to admit it because that is a big deal. but this is nothing big of a deal and they drugged me on and off half for 5 1/2 years before i realize that i paid my punishments already. it took me nearly 5 and and a half year (1 week short of 5 1/2 year) to realize that and on may 3, 2020, my mom still drugged me while i was washing dishes at night that i waited till the next day on may 4, 2020, to explain that to my mom and later to my middle brother. My mom, two brothers, and other people finally cut me some slack and drug me a lot less afterward.
i was so dumb and it took me that long to realize it, had i realize that sooner, i hope they could cut me some slack sooner. as soon as august 2016 when i realize they misunderstood thinking that i exaggerate. if not 2016, then maybe 2017 they might cut me some slacks had i realize that sooner that i already paid my punishments. so why continue to drug to me? nearly another 4 more years is when i realize that and explain that to them. rather being very late to realize that than never or take longer time than that.
sorry about my super long story. i have to clear that up so in hoping they won't drug me anymore so i won't be miserable anymore.
yeah. but you are still smart to learn and comprehend it on youtube videos and google to guide you on how to fix it.that is pretty cool you can fix your nes internally and genesis consoles or attempt to fix the genesis. you must be very smart to do that. nice.
It's not really about being smart. Just a matter of going on YouTube or Google and learning. You basically learn by diving into it and figuring it out. I get this all the time with my woodworking, auto repair skills and I guess now electronic repair lol. I always hear people say "I wish I had skills to do that". I didn't have the skills at one point. I just was like "I need this fixed/built. I'm gonna do it" and I get online, learn how to do it and do it. It's really just that simple.
Also an update, I got my fat 30001 model PS2 working the other night (for those that don't remember, many a threads on here about the issues with that console). It hasn't read a disc in 12 years and was more of a display piece on my shelf. It works great for now
I mean, maybe? I always had a DIY background. I grew up on a farm so whenever something broke, my grandfather fixed it. Same with my dad. So I was exposed to tools and repair and fabrication at an early age. But really, it's just acquiring knowledge as you go along. Anybody can do it. As you take more projects on, you grow and get better. Eventually you figure out how things are put together and can replicate it.you are still smart though. not only that but you and most people here are way more articulate and have better grammars than i do.