Dear Santa,
> > > I wud like a kool toy space ranjur for Xmas. Iv ben a good boy all
> yeer.
> > > YeR FReND,
> > > BiLLy
> > >
> > > Dear Billy,
> > > Nice spelling. You\'re on your way to being a career lawncare
> specialist.
> > > How \'bout I send you a ****ing book so you can learn to read and
> write?
> > > I\'m giving your older brother the space ranger, at least HE can spell!
> > > Santa
> > >
> > > ******************************************
> > >
> > > Dear Santa,
> > > I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing I ask for is
> peace
> > and
> > > joy in the world for everybody!
> > > Love,
> > > Sarah
> > >
> > > Dear Sarah,
> > > Your parents smoked pot when they had you, didn\'t they?
> > > Santa
> > >
> > > ******************************************
> > >
> > > Dear Santa,
> > > I\'ve written you for three years now asking for a fire truck. Please,
> I
> > > really really want a fire truck this year!
> > > Love,
> > > Joey
> > >
> > > Dear Joey,
> > > Let me make it up to you. While you sleep, I\'m gonna torch your house.
> > > You\'ll have more fire trucks than you\'ll know what to do with.
> > > Santa
> > >
> > > ******************************************
> > >
> > > Dear Santa,
> > > I don\'t know if you can do this, but for Christmas, I\'d like for my
> > mommy
> > > and daddy to get back together. Please see what you can do.
> > > Love,
> > > Teddy
> > >
> > > Dear Teddy,
> > > What, and ruin that hot affair your dad\'s still having with the
> > babysitter?
> > > He\'s banging her like a screen door in a hurricane, son! Let me get
> you
> > some
> > > nice Legos instead.
> > > Santa
> > >
> > > ******************************************
> > >
> > > Dear Santa,
> > > I need more Pokemon cards please! All my friends have more Pokemon
> cards
> > > than me. Please see what you can do.
> > > Love,
> > > Michelle
> > >
> > > Dear Michelle,
> > > It blows my ****ing mind. Kids are forcing their parents to buy
> hundreds
> > of
> > > dollars worth of these stupid cards, and none of you snot-nosed brats
> > are
> > > even learning to play the game. Let me get you something more your
> > speed,
> > > like "Chutes and Ladders."
> > > Santa
> > >
> > > ******************************************
> > >
> > > Dear Santa,
> > > I want a new bike, playstation, a train, some G.I. Joes, a dog, a drum
> > kit,
> > > a pony and a tuba.
> > > Love,
> > > Francis
> > >
> > > Dear Francis,
> > > Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays?
> > > Santa
> > > ******************************************
> > >
> > > Dear Santa, I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and I left
> > > carrots for your reindeer outside the backdoor.
> > > Love,
> > > Susan
> > >
> > > Dear Susan,
> > > Milk gives me the ****s and carrots make the deer fart in my face.
> You
> > want
> > > to be a kiss-ass? Leave me a glass of Chivas Regal and some Toblerone.
> > > Santa
> > >
> > > ******************************************
> > >
> > > Dear Santa,
> > > What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are you making toys?
> > > Your friend, Thomas
> > > Dear Thomas,
> > > All toys get made in China. I have a condo in Vegas, where I spend
> most
> > my
> > > time squeezing ****tail waitresses asses, and losing all my cash at
> the
> > > craps table. Hey, YOU wanted to know!
> > > Santa
> > >
> > > ******************************************
> > >
> > > Dear Santa,
> > > Do you see us when we\'re sleeping, do you really know when we\'re
> awake,
> > like
> > > in the song?
> > > Love,
> > > Jessica
> > >
> > > Dear Jessica,
> > > You are that gullible? Good luck in whatever you do, I\'m skipping your
> > > house.
> > > Santa
> > >
> > > ******************************************
> > > Dear Santa,
> > > I really really want a puppy this year. Please please please PLEASE,
> > > Timmy
> > > Dear Timmy,
> > > That whiney begging **** may work with your folks, but that crap don\'t
> > work
> > > up here. You\'re getting a sweater again.
> > > Santa
> > >
> > > ******************************************
> > > Dearest Santa,
> > > We don\'t have a chimney in our house, how do you get into our home?
> > > Love,
> > > Marky
> > >
> > > Dear Mark,
> > > Firstly, stop calling yourself "Marky," that\'s why you\'re getting your
> > ass
> > > whipped at school. Secondly, you don\'t live in a house, that\'s a
> > low-rent
> > > apartment complex you\'re living in. Thirdly, I get inside your pad
> just
> > like
> > > all the burglars do, through your bedroom window.
> > > Sweet Dreams!
> > > Santa
