Dictionary to Decipher Personals Ads
WOMEN\'S ADS
40-ish.......................... 49
Adventurer.................. Slept with all your friends
Athletic........................ No tits
Average looking.......... Has a face like a basset hound
Beautiful...................... Pathological liar
Contagious Smile........ Does a lot of Ecstasy
Educated..................... Banged her Political Science professor
Emotionally Secure...... Medicated
Feminist....................... Fat ballbuster
Free spirit.................... Junkie
Friendship first............ Trying to live down reputation as a slut
Fun.............................. Annoying
Gentle.......................... Comatose
Good Listener...............Borderline Autistic
New-Age...................... All body hair, all the time
Old-fashioned............... Lights out, missionary position only, no BJs
Open-minded............... Desperate
Outgoing..................... Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate.................. Sloppy drunk
Poet............................ Depressive Schizophrenic
Professional................ Certified Biatch
Redhead..................... Bad dye-job
Reubenesque............. Grossly Fat
Romantic.................... Looks better by candle light
Social......................... Has been passed around like an horsdoeuvres tray
Voluptuous.................. Very Fat
Weight proportion w/ height... Hugely Fat
Wants Soulmate.............. Stalker
Widow.......................... Drove first husband to shoot himself
Young at heart.............. Old bat
MEN\'S ADS
40-ish.................... 52 and looking for 25-yr-old
Athletic................... Watches a lot of NASCAR
Average looking..... Unusual hair growth on ears, nose, & back
Educated................ Will patronize the **** out of you
Free Spirit............... Banging your sister
Friendship first....... As long as friendship involves nookie
Fun......................... Good with a remote and a six pack
Good looking.......... Arrogant
Very good looking.. Dumb as a board
Honest................... Pathological Liar
Huggable............... Overweight, more body hair than a bear
Mature................... Older than your father
Open-minded........... Wants to sleep with your roommate but she\'s not
interested
Physically fit............ Does a lot of 12-ounce curls
Poet....................... Wrote ex-girlfriend\'s # on a bathroom stall
Sensitive................ Cries at chick flicks
Very sensitive........ Gay
Spiritual................. Got laid in a cemetery once
Stable.................... Arrested for stalking, but not convicted
Thoughtful.............. Says "Excuse me" when he farts
Topic: Dictionary to Decipher Personal Ads (Read 740 times)