It was 1 of those things just trying to keep my mind from seeing and hearing that scene all over again. I\'ve never had to deal with this kind of thing ever and some days it\'s easier to forget the scene/screams but on other days I don\'t know how to really react to the whole situation. I\'ve had people pass away and been around death. This is different however since I not only knew her personally but intimately as well. You kind of get used to sleeping next to someone and then when you head to bed or wake up and that person isn\'t there(and not because of a break-up or something)you find that even difficult. I probably went through a lot more than what most people do at my age, especially with the circumstances(age differance a biggy) The reason it worked was we both made eachother happy and that\'s why I think it worked. I\'m just trying to go back a couple of weeks, hell even months, to see if I could have spotted this earlier. She liked to drink a lot, I mean she drank everyday, but it doesn\'t seem like that played the biggest factor of this. Depression and being stressed out about a lot of things is what I think did it. I\'m thinking she thought this would be an easier way out and not have to deal with things anymore. The only reason I brought up my parents and gaming was, sometimes for now, I just really don\'t know what to say to people. You guys are right, I don\'t think the initial shock has really set in, I mean I know she died, but she isn\'t coming back from this and I don\'t think that\'s quite sat in. Although me and her ex-family members(in-laws and husband) and her kids have got a plan to put on our own memorial at the Henry Doorly Zoo in Omaha. We can put a headstone in the butterfly garden and she\'ll be there for the rest of our lives. It\'s a great place because she was a big animal person. The only thing that really sucks about this whole situation is we still haven\'t said our "final good-byes" and we probably won\'t until next Saturday...my 23rd birthday. I don\'t know fellas, it\'s 1 of them things where I don\'t know after talking to people and what not, if I will EVER get over this completely. I know I probably won\'t, but I just wish I could remember the good and even bad times...just not the last 1 I had with her. I\'ll keep people posted in my journal so I don\'t run the off-topic forum up. Anyways thanks to everyone who has replied, I figured you guys were my brothers, sisters, uncles, aunts from other mothers. But with all that said if you guys have a myspace account I\'d appreciate trying to put a memorial of comments on my myspace. Just look for Cory Anglen with a pic. of Cartman holding a flashlight to his face...if you want to. Anyways I\'ll talk to you all at a later time.
--Bladez
Topic: Maybe you guys can help... (Read 1991 times)