Looking to buy a new car? Can\'t decide on Foreign or Domestic? Not sure which model delivers what suits you? Look no further. Here is the extensive 2001 Car Buyer\'s Report. Just find your make and the evaluation follows.
ACURA:
Another Crummy, Useless, Rotten Automobile
Asia\'s Curse Upon Rural America
AMC:
All Makes Combined
A Major Cost
A Mutated Car
A Morons Car
Another Major Catastrophe
AUDI:
Awfully Unsafe Designs Implemented
Accelerates Under Demonic Influence
Automobile Under Demonic Influence
Another Ugly Deutsche Invention
Always Undermining Deutsche Intelligence
Automobile Unsafe Designs, Inc.
BMW:
Big Money Works
Bought My Wife
Brutal Money Waster
Break My Window
Break My Windshield
Babbling Mechanical Wench
Beastly Monstrous Wonder
Beautiful Masterpieces on Wheels
Beautiful Mechanical Wonder
Barely Moving Wreck
Big Money Waste
Big Money. Why?
Big Money Works
Born Moderately Wealthy
Breaks Most Wrenches
Bring More Wrenches
Brings Me Women
Brings More Women
Broken Money Waster
Broke My Wallet
Broken Monstrous Wonder
Bumbling Mechanical Wretch
Blasphemous Motorized Wreck
BUICK:
Big Ugly Indestructible Car Killer
Big Ugly Imitation Chrome King
CHEVROLET:
Can Hear Every Valve Rap On Long Extended Trips
Cheap, Hardly Efficient, Virtually Runs On Luck Every Time
Cracked Heads, Every Valve Rattles, Oil Leaks Every Time
Constantly Having Every Vehicle Recalled Over Lousy Engineering Techniques
DODGE:
Drips Oil & Drops Grease Everywhere
Damn Old Dirty Gas Eater
Dead Old Dog Going East
Dead On Day Guarantee Expires
Dead On Delivery, Go Easy
Dead On Delivery, Guarantee Expired
Dead Or Dying Garbage Emitter
Dear Old Dads Garage Experiment
EDSEL: Every Day Something Else Leaks
FIAT:
Failure in Italian Automotive Technology
Fix It Again, Tony!
Feeble Italian Attempt at Transportation
FORD:
Frigin\' Old Rebuilt Dodge
Fix Or Repair Daily
Found On Road Dead
Fast Only Rolling Downhill
First On Race Day
First On Recall Day
Fabricated Of Refried Dung
Fails On Rainy Days
Fantastically Orgasmic Realistic Dream
Fatally Obese Redneck Driver
Fault Of R&D
Finally Obsolete Racing Device
Fireball On Rear Denting
First On Road to Dump
First On Rust and Deterioration
Fix Or Recycle Dilemma
Flipping Over Results in Death
Flipped Over Roadside Disaster
Follow Our Rusty Dogsled
Foot On Road Decelerates
Forced On Reluctant Drivers
Formed Of Rejected DNA
Forwarded Once; Return Denied
Forward Only; Reverse Defective
Forlorn, Old, Ratridden Dustbin
Fork Over Repair Dough
Fouled Out Re-done Dodge
Frequent Overhaul, Rapid Deterioration
Free Or Reduced Drastically
Frequent Opinion: Really Disappointed
Fumes and Odors Readily Detectable
Funny Old Rattling Dump
(backwards) Driver Returns On Foot
GEO: Good Engineering Overlooked
GM:
General Maintenance
Great Mistake
Garbage Motors
Generally Miserable
Grossly Misconceived
Gluteus Maximus
GMC:
Garage Man\'s Companion
Gotta Mechanic Coming?
Generally Mediocre Cars
Get More Chicks
Gets Mechanics Crazy
Gods Mechanical Curse
Got More Crap
Great Mountain Climber
Great Motor Car
GTO: Gas, Tires, Oil
HONDA:
Had One Never Did Again
Hang On, Not Done Accelerating
Hallmark Of Non-Descript Automobiles
Hallmark Of Non-Destructable Automobiles
HYUNDAI: Hope You Understand Nothing\'s Driveable And Inexpensive...
JEEP:
Just Eats Every Part
Junk Engineering Executed Poorly
MAZDA: Most Always Zipping Dangerously Along
MG: Money Guzzler
MGB: Might Go Backwards
MGF: Might Go Forward
MIATA: My Intention: Always To Accelerate
MOPAR
Many Odd Parts Arranged Randomly
Miscellaneous Oddball Parts Assembled Ridiculously
Most Often Passed At Races
Mostly Old Parts And Rust
Move Over People Are Racing
Move Over Plymouth Approaching Rapidly
My Old Pig Ain\'t Running
My Only Problems Are Repairs
MUSTANG: Motor Under Strain, Transmission Almost No Good
OLDSMOBILE: Overpriced, Leisurely Driven Sedan Made Of Buick\'s Irregular Leftover Equipment
PINTO:
Put In Nickel To Operate
Paid Inspector Nicely To Overlook
PONTIAC: Poor Old Numbskull Thinks Its A Cadillac
PORSCHE: Proof Of Rich Spoiled Children Having Everything
SAAB:
Send Another Automobile Back
Swedish Automobiles Always Breakdown
Sad Attempt At Beauty
Sorry Auto, Always Broken
Shape Appears Ass-Backwards
SUBARU: Screwed Up Beyond All Repair Usually
TOYOTA:
Too Often Yankees Overprice This Auto
Torturous On Your Old Tired Ass
The One You Ought To Avoid
TRIUMPH:
This Really Is Unreliable Man, Please Help!
Tried Repairing It Until My Parts Hurt!
VOLVO: Very Odd Looking Vehicular Object
VW: Virtually Worthless
Never buy a lemon again.
