CHRISTIAN DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. You keep one and give one to your
neighbor.
A SOCIALIST: You have two cows. The government takes one and gives it to
your neighbor.
A REPUBLICAN: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. So what?
A DEMOCRAT: You have two cows. Your neighbor has none. You feel guilty for
being successful. So you vote
people into office who tax your cows, forcing you to sell one to raise
money to pay the tax. Then the
people you voted for take your tax money, buy a cow and give it to your
neighbor. You feel righteous.
A COMMUNIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and provides
you
with milk.
A FASCIST: You have two cows. The government seizes both and sells you the
milk. You join the underground
and start a campaign of sabotage.
DEMOCRACY, CANADIAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government taxes you to
the point you have to sell
both to support a man in a foreign country who has only one cow, which was
a gift from your government.
CAPITALISM, AMERICAN STYLE: You have two cows. You sell one, buy a bull
and
build a herd of cows.
BUREAUCRACY, CANADIAN STYLE: You have two cows. The government takes them
both, shoots one, milks the other, pays you for the milk, then pours the
milk down the drain.
AN AMERICAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You sell one, and force the
other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow
drops
dead.
A FRENCH CORPORATION: You have two cows. You go on strike because you want
three cows.
A JAPANESE CORPORATION: You have two cows. You redesign them so they are
one eleventh the size of
ordinary cows and produce twenty times the milk.
A GERMAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live
for 100 years, eat once a
month and milk themselves.
AN ITALIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows but you don\'t know where they
are. You break for lunch.
A RUSSIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You count them and learn you
have
five cows. You count them
again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have
12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.
A MEXICAN CORPORATION: You think you have two cows, but you\'re not sure
where they are. You\'ll look for
them tomorrow.
A SWISS CORPORATION: You have 5000 cows, none of which belongs to you. You
charge others for storing them.
A BRAZILIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You enter into a partnership
with an American corporation. Soon you have 1000 cows and the American
corporation declares bankruptcy.
AN INDIAN CORPORATION: You have two cows. You worship them.
A TALIBAN ORGANIZATION: You have two cows. You load them up with
explosives
and herd them onto your
neighbor\'s property where you blow them up. Your neighbor dies. You starve
to death.
