luckee\'s dirty AND offensive joke thread.

Here\'s another dead baby joke (I think Vid posted it before)

What\'s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls, and a truck full of dead babies?

You can\'t unload the bowling balls witha pitch fork.
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now for some jesus jokes;

What were Jeusu\'s last words?
Ouch, ouch ouch

What did the Roman soldier tell jesus?
Can you cross your legs, we only have three stakes.

Why did jesus cross the road?
He was nailed to the chicken

what did jesus say while on the cross?
this is a hell of a way to spend easter.

[Kurt Angle]

These a funny!

[videoholic]

Originally posted by theomen
Here\'s another dead baby joke (I think Vid posted it before)

What\'s the difference between a truck full of bowling balls, and a truck full of dead babies?

You can\'t unload the bowling balls witha pitch fork.

God, I remember writing that joke.  I will burn in hell.....

Good.Vid has finally grown up.Hooray!!

[Titan]

These are pretty good.

Not sure if this has been posted before

A Cuban, American and a Colombian are in a raft in the middle of the ocean. They begin to sink. They begin to throw things out to make them float. The Colombian throws out the drugs and says \'we have too many of these in our country\'. The Cuban throws out the cigars and says \'we have too many of these in our country\'. The American throws out the Cuban and says \'we have too many of these in our country\'.

Gay joke which all of you probably heard.

cool jokes.I am probably saving this thread

[§ôµÏG®ïñD]

There\'s a boy, he\'s father and mother. They are camping out in the bush. The man and boy wonder off to go for a walk.
In their walk they come across 2 tigers doing it. The boy turns to he\'s father to ask, "Dad, what are they doing?" the father replies, "making a sandwich son,” They continue on to find 2 lions doing it. The son asks the father "dad, what are they doing" the father replies "making a sandwich son” Again they carry on with there walk to come across 2 elephants having fun. "Dad, dad" the boy says as he\'s pointing towards the elephants "what are they doing?” the father answers again. "Making a sandwich son”
So they go back there camp site and go to sleep for the night. During the night the boy wakes up to strange noises... He walks in he\'s mom and dad\'s tent catching them in the act.  The boy freezes for a second then simply says. "Don’t worry dad, i know your making a sandwich. I can see the mayonnaise running down mum’s leg.


I did this one of the top of my head.. If it\'s wrong.. KISS MY ARSE.

Well....its ookeeyyyyyyy

[§ôµÏG®ïñD]

When things go bad, as they sometimes will
And your heavy load seems all up hill
When moneys low and bills are high
When you try to smile but you only cry
And you know you feel like you’d like to quit
Don’t run to me I don’t give a shit!

[§ôµÏG®ïñD]

Employ Training

In order to assure the highest levels of  work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you need.

Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T) Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T).

Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they do not have to do anymore  S.H.I.T , as they are all full of S.H.I.T already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T) Those who have completed B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T)

If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)

Thank you,

Keep them comming.

I was having a bad day until i read this thread...

For a splended little twist, a clever comeback my english teacher told me:  Putting your brain on the edge of a razor blade is the scale equivilant of a BB rolling down a 4 lane highway.

Originally posted by §ôµÏG®ïñD
Employ Training

In order to assure the highest levels of  work and productivity from employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through our program of Special High Intensity Training (S.H.I.T). We are trying to give employees more S.H.I.T than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your share of S.H.I.T on the job, please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the S.H.I.T list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get all the S.H.I.T you need.

Employees who do not take their S.H.I.T will be placed in Departmental Employee Evaluation Programs (D.E.E.P S.H.I.T) Those who fail to take D.E.E.P S.H.I.T seriously will have to go to Employee Attitude Training (E.A.T S.H.I.T).

Since our managers took S.H.I.T before they were promoted, they do not have to do anymore  S.H.I.T , as they are all full of S.H.I.T already.

If you are full of S.H.I.T, you may be interested in a job training others. We can add your name to our Basic Understanding Lecture List (B.U.L.L S.H.I.T) Those who have completed B.U.L.L S.H.I.T will get the S.H.I.T jobs, and can apply for promotion to Director of Intensity Programming (D.I.P S.H.I.T)

If you have further questions, please direct them to our Head Of Training, Special High Intensity Training (H.O.T S.H.I.T)

Thank you,

I particularly like this one A LOT!!