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Author Topic: cool things about bein a man  (Read 737 times)

Offline clips

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cool things about bein a man
« on: April 22, 2004, 03:23:53 PM »
a chick on the job sent me this..i got a little chuckle out of it...



1. Your ass is never a factor in a job interview.

2. Your orgasms are real. Always.

3. Your last name stays put.

4. The garage is all yours.

5. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

6. You never feel compelled to stop a friend from getting laid.

7. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

8. You don\'t give a rat\'s ass if someone notices your new_ haircut.

9. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

10. Same work .. more pay.

11. Wrinkles-add character.

12. You don\'t have to leave the room to make emergency crotch
adjustments.

13. Wedding Dress $2000; Tux rental $100.

14. If you retain water, it\'s in a canteen.

15. People never glance at your chest when you\'re talking to them.

16. New shoes don\'t cut, blister, or mangle your feet.

17. One mood, ALL the damn time.

18. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds.

19. A five-day vacation requires only 1 suitcase.

20. You can open all your own jars.

21. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

22. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

23. If you are 34 and single, nobody notices.

24. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger\'s seat.

25. Three pairs of shoes are more than enough.

26. You can quietly watch a game with your buddy for hours without ever
thinking "He must be mad at me."

27. No maxi-pads.

28. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just
might become lifelong friends.

29. You are not expected to know the names of more than five colors.

30. You don\'t have to stop and think of which way to turn a nut on a
bolt.

31. You are unable to see wrinkles in clothes.

32. The same hairstyle lasts for years, maybe decades.

33. Your belly usually hides your big hips.

34. One wallet and one pair of shoes, one color, all_ seasons.

35. You can "do" your nails with a pocketknife.

36. Christmas shopping can be accomplished for 25 relatives, on December
24th, in minutes.

37. The world is your urinal.

*******************************************************************

Ten Things men know for sure about women.

>1.

>2.

>3.

>4.

>5.

>6.

>7.

>8.

>9.

>10. They have breasts.
knowledge, wisdom & understanding..these are the basic fundamentals of life

if you can\'t amaze them with brilliance, baffle them with bullsh*t....

Offline Ashford
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« Reply #1 on: April 22, 2004, 07:04:47 PM »
I think this was funny the first 47 times...

Looks like 48 is your unlucky number...
July 2002: If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. Enron, $16.50 left. Worldcom, $5.00 left. If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser beer one year ago, drank it all and turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

Offline §ôµÏG®ïñD

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cool things about bein a man
« Reply #2 on: April 22, 2004, 07:11:54 PM »
as they say..

welcome to last year.
  Ǧµî✟å® Ĵµñķîë!!  

Offline Black Samurai
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« Reply #3 on: April 22, 2004, 07:25:56 PM »
So, so, true. It must suck being a woman.
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Offline Ashford
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« Reply #4 on: April 22, 2004, 08:15:03 PM »
Must...resist...immature...joke...
July 2002: If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. Enron, $16.50 left. Worldcom, $5.00 left. If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser beer one year ago, drank it all and turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

Offline SwifDi
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« Reply #5 on: April 22, 2004, 08:19:05 PM »
Chicks have a vagina too. I think.

Offline THX
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« Reply #6 on: April 22, 2004, 08:39:09 PM »
How would you know?


OHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH


(I don\'t know either) :(

ps- where\'s the one about not having to sit down to take a pee pee?

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Offline Kurt Angle

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« Reply #7 on: April 23, 2004, 11:30:27 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by SwifDi
Chicks have a vagina too. I think.


Really????

Where?????


(feel free to post some pics) ;)

Offline clips

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« Reply #8 on: April 23, 2004, 11:37:17 AM »
i have one but this thread will just get closed..:p
knowledge, wisdom & understanding..these are the basic fundamentals of life

if you can\'t amaze them with brilliance, baffle them with bullsh*t....

Offline Ryu
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« Reply #9 on: April 23, 2004, 11:46:23 PM »
Don\'t you ever touch my cape.
-Ryu

Offline Darth Joyda
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« Reply #10 on: April 24, 2004, 12:36:08 AM »
Yet I say that, for women, it is slightly easier to get laid.
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Offline Bozco
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« Reply #11 on: April 24, 2004, 01:05:21 AM »
Yea, must suck paying half as much as us on insurance.

Offline Titan

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« Reply #12 on: April 24, 2004, 03:41:24 PM »
Anyone have those rules for men and the rules for women? Those are usually pretty funny.
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Offline Black Samurai
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« Reply #13 on: April 24, 2004, 07:13:07 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Bozco
Yea, must suck paying half as much as us on insurance.
lol, wha?!

I\'ll gladly pay 4x the insurance women pay to capitalize on half of the things on that list. Avoiding menstruation alone makes it worth the cost.
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Offline Titan

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« Reply #14 on: April 25, 2004, 07:28:19 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Black Samurai
lol, wha?!

I\'ll gladly pay 4x the insurance women pay to capitalize on half of the things on that list. Avoiding menstruation alone makes it worth the cost.


Ditto. I don\'t want to bleed for a week with cramps and mood swings. I deal with that enough with my chick friends. The only reason I would want to be a woman is to play with my boobs, which I can do when I get old or fat anyway
Liquid Spam of The Spaminators
"That took some balls to stick a gun in his pants." -Gman
"LOL u know id fuck yu wsboth right? i would love to fuck the both of uyouy

U R FUCJKGIN FCUTE" -THX to luke and Bob

"13 year old girls sleep with older men cause they think theyre in love
13 year old boys sleep with older women cause theyd be stupid not to

 

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