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Author Topic: A couple of goodies. One old, one not so old.  (Read 732 times)

Offline videoholic

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A couple of goodies. One old, one not so old.
« on: May 31, 2005, 09:06:40 AM »
Two Arabs are sitting in a Gaza bar chatting over a pint of fermented goats milk.
 
One pulls out his wallet and starts flipping through pictures, and they start reminiscing.
 
This is my oldest son, Mohammed..... he\'s a martyr.  This is my second son, Hachmed. He is a martyr also.

After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Arab says wistfully, "They blow up so fast, don\'t they?"



_________________________________________________


The doctor said, "Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration.  You have a very rare condition, which causes your testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache.  The only way to relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles."


Joe was shocked and depressed.  He wondered if he had anything to live for. He had no choice but to go under the knife.

When he left the hospital, he was without a headache for the first time in 20 years, but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself. As he walked down the street, he realized that he felt like a different person.  He could make a new beginning and live a new life.


He saw a men\'s clothing store and thought, "That\'s what I need... a new suit."  He entered the shop and told the salesman, "I\'d like a new suit."

The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, "Let\'s see... size 44 long."


Joe laughed, "That\'s right, how did you know?"  

"Been in the business 60 years!", the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit.. it fit perfectly.


As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, "How about a new shirt?"  

Joe thought for a moment and then said, "Sure."


The salesman eyed Joe and said, "Let\'s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck."


Joe was surprised, That\'s right, how did you know?"  

"Been in the business 60 years."


Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.


Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, "How about some new underwear?"    

Joe thought for a moment and said, "Sure."


The salesman said, "Let\'s see... size 36."


Joe laughed, "Aha! I got you, I\'ve worn a size 34 since I was 18 years old."

The salesman shook his head, "You can\'t wear a size 34.  A size 34 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache."


New suit - $400


New shirt - $36


New underwear - $6


Second Opinion - PRICELESS!
I wear a necklace now because I like to know when I\'m upside down.
 kopking: \"i really think that i how that guy os on he weekend\"
TheOmen speaking of women: \"they\'re good at what they do, for what they are.\"
Swifdi:

Offline GmanJoe

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A couple of goodies. One old, one not so old.
« Reply #1 on: May 31, 2005, 10:38:30 AM »
Cored  lost his the same exact way. :p
\"Gee,  I dunno.  If I was a chick, I\'d probably want a kiss (or more) from Durst, too.\"--SineSwiper 9/23/03 (from another forum)
Originally posted by Seed_Of_Evil I must admit that the last pic of her ass will be used in my next masturbation. She\'s hot as hell, one of my

Offline Paul2

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A couple of goodies. One old, one not so old.
« Reply #2 on: May 31, 2005, 11:38:42 AM »
I heard the 2nd joke before.

Offline videoholic

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A couple of goodies. One old, one not so old.
« Reply #3 on: May 31, 2005, 12:28:10 PM »
me too. That was the old one.
I wear a necklace now because I like to know when I\'m upside down.
 kopking: \"i really think that i how that guy os on he weekend\"
TheOmen speaking of women: \"they\'re good at what they do, for what they are.\"
Swifdi:

Offline Coredweller
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A couple of goodies. One old, one not so old.
« Reply #4 on: May 31, 2005, 12:31:13 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by GmanJoe
Cored  lost his the same exact way. :p
Wow, I must be pushing your buttons somehow if I suddenly rate one of your kiddie insults.  :D
ZmÒëĎCęЯ
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\"The American Dream: You have to be asleep to believe it.\"  - George Carlin

Offline GmanJoe

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A couple of goodies. One old, one not so old.
« Reply #5 on: May 31, 2005, 01:35:59 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Coredweller
Wow, I must be pushing your buttons somehow if I suddenly rate one of your kiddie insults.  :D


Don\'t flatter yerself. I target everyone. You ain\'t special. Gay? Yes. Special? No. :)
\"Gee,  I dunno.  If I was a chick, I\'d probably want a kiss (or more) from Durst, too.\"--SineSwiper 9/23/03 (from another forum)
Originally posted by Seed_Of_Evil I must admit that the last pic of her ass will be used in my next masturbation. She\'s hot as hell, one of my

 

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