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Author Topic: News from 2004  (Read 854 times)

Offline Paul2

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News from 2004
« on: December 06, 2005, 01:04:41 PM »
Supposedly all the following are actual headlines that appeared in different newspapers during 2004.  Pretty funny.


THE YEAR\'S BEST [actual] HEADLINES OF 2004:

Crack Found on Governor\'s Daughter
[Imagine that!]

Something Went Wrong in Jet Crash, Expert Says
[No, really?]

Police Begin Campaign to Run Down Jaywalkers
[Now that\'s taking things a bit far!]

Is There a Ring of Debris around Uranus?
[Not if I wipe thoroughly!]

Panda Mating Fails; Veterinarian Takes Over
[What a guy!]

Miners Refuse to Work after Death
[No-good-for-nothing\' lazy so-and-sos!]

Juvenile Court to Try Shooting Defendant
[See if that works any better than a fair trial!]

War Dims Hope for Peace
[I can see where it might have that effect!]

If Strike Isn\'t Settled Quickly, It May Last Awhile
[You think?]

Cold Wave Linked to Temperatures
[Who would have thought!]

Enfield (London) Couple Slain; Police Suspect Homicide
[They may be on to something!]

Red Tape Holds Up New Bridges !
[You mean there\'s something stronger than duct tape?]

Man Struck By Lightning: Faces Battery Charge
[he probably IS the battery charge!]

New Study of Obesity Looks for Larger Test Group
[Weren\'t they fat enough?!]

Astronaut Takes Blame for Gas in Spacecraft
[That\'s what he gets for eating those beans!]

Kids Make Nutritious Snacks
[Taste like chicken?]

Local High School Dropouts Cut in Half
[Chainsaw Massacre all over again!]

Hospitals are Sued by 7 Foot Doctors
[Boy, are they tall!]

Typhoon Rips Through Cemetery; Hundreds Dead



and this headlines blows them all:

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Offline Knotter8
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News from 2004
« Reply #1 on: December 06, 2005, 01:33:17 PM »
:laughing:  pretty funny
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Offline THX
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News from 2004
« Reply #2 on: December 06, 2005, 04:49:48 PM »
What\'s up with the uberly gay commentary after each headline?  Just kills it for me.
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Offline Living-In-Clip

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News from 2004
« Reply #3 on: December 06, 2005, 06:17:44 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by THX
What\'s up with the uberly gay commentary after each headline?  Just kills it for me.


Same here.
Ruins the whole effect.
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Offline (e)
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News from 2004
« Reply #4 on: December 06, 2005, 07:17:53 PM »
Pretty good headlines.

I wonder what that detroit player is doing?
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Offline Joker
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News from 2004
« Reply #5 on: December 06, 2005, 10:23:33 PM »
I think its obvious he\'s about to suck his cock
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Offline (e)
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News from 2004
« Reply #6 on: December 07, 2005, 05:59:13 PM »
Is it?
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Offline Titan

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News from 2004
« Reply #7 on: December 07, 2005, 07:21:02 PM »
Heh, some funny shit.
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Offline square_marker
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News from 2004
« Reply #8 on: December 08, 2005, 06:11:29 AM »
I hate the Detroit Lions.  It\'s like they were here to become the definition of mediocre.

YOUR KILLING ME JOEY!

and for that matter, screw Garcia... is he even hispanic?  Damn poser.
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Offline Titan

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News from 2004
« Reply #9 on: December 08, 2005, 06:53:22 AM »
The football one is by far the best out of them all.
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Offline clips

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News from 2004
« Reply #10 on: December 08, 2005, 10:00:20 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by square_marker

and for that matter, screw Garcia... is he even hispanic?  Damn poser. [/B]


yo,...i was wondering the same thing...he doesn\'t look hispanic, even when he speaks there\'s no hispanic accent in the slightest degree...but yea he sucks anyway....
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Offline Eiksirf
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News from 2004
« Reply #11 on: December 08, 2005, 10:41:34 AM »
The thing with the Detroit article is there is no other way to take that. All the others the author meant something else, but in this one they clearly meant to say Detroit Blows.

Right?

Unless the image is cropped to shave off extra words. That might be what happened, and then someone with photoshop just cropped the pic to make the headline funny with the photo.  Indeed.

-Dan
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Offline square_marker
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News from 2004
« Reply #12 on: December 08, 2005, 12:00:50 PM »
The image is not cropped, it just happened Batch was kneeling in the pain of defeat and his center was to his side.  

Either way, I am so fed up with Detroit Football I don\'t know what to do anymore.
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Offline Viper_Fujax

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News from 2004
« Reply #13 on: December 08, 2005, 12:38:57 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Eiksirf


Unless the image is cropped to shave off extra words. That might be what happened, and then someone with photoshop just cropped the pic to make the headline funny with the photo.  Indeed.

-Dan


yea, look at the letters..the borders of the words is whiter than they should be. It probably says something like "lions blow the lead" er something. Still funny.
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Offline Luke
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News from 2004
« Reply #14 on: December 08, 2005, 12:57:10 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by square_marker
The image is not cropped, it just happened Batch was kneeling in the pain of defeat and his center was to his side.  

Either way, I am so fed up with Detroit Football I don\'t know what to do anymore.


ha!


Go Bears.
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