Tomb Raider - The REAL Review

[videoholic]

OK, first up...  Do a search on this forum for tomb raider and write down everyone\'s screen name who said this movie was anything even remotely better than a flying piece of crap.  Keep these names by your computer and ANY other review written by these people should be TOTALLY DISREGARDED!!!  This was the biggest waste of time and money since Caddyshack II.....


Some of the worst writing I have ever seen in a movie.

Absolutely THE worst editing job in any action movie since, well..  Crap..  There is not one movie I can think of with a worse edit job.

Story, well the story line wasn\'t all that bad.  Crap..  I actually said something good about it.  Let me rephrase that.  It was an alright premise of a movie, but let me say again that the writing is crap!!!!

CG is god awful.  Could it possibly look more fake?  I think the same people did this as The Last Starfighter and didn\'t upgrade their freaking equipment.

Oh and for future reference.. If you are ever trapped in a tomb with lots of rock people after you, don\'t be afraid.  Just touch them with your foot or something and they will break apart.

Oh and when they broke into her house when she was flying around on the little thingy, could like not one freaking trained assassin shoot this chick with their high powered machine guns?  She is amazing.  Her boobs must be like some anti bullet force field or something.

That brings me to the one good thing..  Boobies..


Speaking of that. The last part of the movie is in the arctic tundra somewhere.  Even the locals are wearing really heavy fur coats.  The locals!! THe ones who live there.  The ones who are use to living in the arctic tundra!!!  Everyone is wearing coats.  Oh, except for the Lara Croft character.  She was of course wearing a light jacket spread wide open to reveal her boobies.  THANK GOD.  I would hate for some realism to get in the way of some more boob time.


Please, no one else ever go see this movie.  It is crap.  Pray to the lord of movies that they will burn this movie and get a good crew to produce the new Tomb Raider One.  I was really hoping this would be good and judging by what people said on this board I figured the critics were just being hyper critical on an action movie like they so often do.  Well in this case the critics were right.  This movie BLOWS!!!!!!

And this concludes my review of this "Movie"
Vid

Originally posted by Videoholic


Some of the worst writing I have ever seen in a movie.

Absolutely THE worst editing job in any action movie since, well..  Crap..  There is not one movie I can think of with a worse edit job.

hey don\'t forget battlefield earth,
that was brutal!

Videoholic - Your expectations were obviously way to high! Geez, it sounds like everyone was expecting some Oscar Award winning film! I mean, it was totally a spoof about Lara, it didnt take itself seriously.

I thought it was great, for what it was, it wasn\'t  all that, but it was still a decent film.

People are going in the cinama with expectations far to high.

Props for the "Last Starfighter" reference.

Originally posted by Videoholic
OK, first up...  Do a search on this forum for tomb raider and write down everyone\'s screen name who said this movie was anything even remotely better than a flying piece of crap.  Keep these names by your computer and ANY other review written by these people should be TOTALLY DISREGARDED!!!...  

Sorry...count me, then, as one of the names to be TOTALLY DISREGARDED.  At worst, I must say that this movie was remotely better than a flying piece of crap.  At best, it was entertaining b/c I didn\'t try to analyze it for anything more than it was (for me) and that was simply an entertaining escape from reality.

[videoholic]

Originally posted by Toxical


hey don\'t forget battlefield earth,
that was brutal!

Dang, maybe I should go see Battlefield Earth and do a critique of it.  Then I can refer to Tomb Raider in it for it\'s suckiness.

I was not going into this movie looking for shawshank redemption.  I knew what the movie was.  I must say though that the company who created the trailer should have edited the whole movie.  From the trailer you would have thought it was going to be a grab your balls, we\'re going for a ride movie.  

And what was with the shower scene in the begining?  Man the editor needs to be shot.  I do have to give an a-plus on the over the shoulder look with the boob hanging out shot after the shower.  Who said Nipsy Russel has to be in a movie for it to be sexy.  I like the side cup action.

[Living-In-Clip]

Thank\'s Video. Finally someone agree\'s with me, that this movie was a waste of time .

What this movie really needed was ALOT more humor.  They totally wasted Chris Barrie in the role as Lara\'s butler.  Any Red Dwarf fans out there know how funny this man is, and he had no humorous dialog at all in Tomb Raider.  If they had done one more draft on that script, and added more dialog for him, it could have [almost] saved this movie.  As it was, I hated it.

Originally posted by Videoholic


Dang, maybe I should go see Battlefield Earth and do a critique of it.  Then I can refer to Tomb Raider in it for it\'s suckiness.
 

Lets just say i had to fast forward DVD player when i watched Battlefield Earth, when the characters were talking on screen i almost got seizures when they cut from one to the other, it was hell.

Originally posted by ##RaCeR##
Videoholic - Your expectations were obviously way to high! Geez, it sounds like everyone was expecting some Oscar Award winning film! I mean, it was totally a spoof about Lara, it didnt take itself seriously.

I thought it was great, for what it was, it wasn\'t  all that, but it was still a decent film.

People are going in the cinama with expectations far to high.

Thank you ##RaCeR##!!!!!!

Just like whe I went to see the Mummy and the sequel, I don\'t expect much, and am surprised and delighted when I am entertained by a pretty good movie.  Who here really thought that the game was going to be the best movie on the planet?  Get real.

Plus, forget the whole list thing.  Every person is different.  I bet I love half the movies Videoholic like, and hate the other half!!!  Juat because one opinion on one movie differs, doesn\'t mean that all the time you will disagree!

C\'mon people, let\'s be civilized and think for a second before we post.

[videoholic]

Trog-  You have a good point except that the Mummy movies were pretty good.  That is why they exceeded your expectations.  I went in to Tomb Raider knowing it was a so so movie and just wanted to be entertained.  FOrget that.  The movie down right blew nuggets.

Originally posted by Videoholic
Trog-  You have a good point except that the Mummy movies were pretty good.  That is why they exceeded your expectations.  I went in to Tomb Raider knowing it was a so so movie and just wanted to be entertained.  FOrget that.  The movie down right blew nuggets.

Actually, I thought the Mummy movies are the worst movies on the planet!  My expectations was worse than dirt, and I got not as worse as worse as dirt.  The only reason why I saw them (once, I will never watch those movies again) was to laugh AT the movie, AT the dumb plot AT the poor choices of the director.

I went to the Tomb Raider movie knowing that it was so-so and I was entertained.

The point I\'m trying to make is:

Just because I like one movie that you don\'t like doesn\'t mean that what I think of every other movie is going to conflict with what you thought of it.

[videoholic]

Originally posted by Troglodyte


Just because I like one movie that you don\'t like doesn\'t mean that what I think of every other movie is going to conflict with what you thought of it.

True..  You could actually be right about a future movie..   heheh..

Athens, is that Athens, GA????  If so, GO GATORS!!!

Originally posted by Videoholic


True..  You could actually be right about a future movie..   heheh..

Athens, is that Athens, GA????  If so, GO GATORS!!!

You just look out for the Croc hunter!   GO DAWGS!!!!!

TR rocked. When\'s your movie set for release VH? Oh yea, it\'s not....