HOW DO THESE PEOPLE SURVIVE?
>
> Recently, when I went to McDonald\'s I saw on the
> menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12
> Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. "We
> don\'t have half dozen nuggets," said the teenager
> at the counter. "You don\'t?" I replied. "We only have
> six, nine, or twelve," was the reply. "So I can\'t
> order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?"
> "That\'s right." So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> The paragraph above doesn\'t amaze me because of
> what happened a couple of months ago. I was checking out
> at the local Foodland with just a few items and the
> lady behind me put her things on the belt close to
> mine. I picked up one of those "Dividers" that they keep
> by the cash register and placed it between our
> things so they wouldn\'t get mixed. After the girl had
> scanned all of my items, she picked up the "Divider"
> looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it.
> Not finding the bar code she said to me "Do you
> know how much this is?" and I said to her "I\'ve changed
> my mind, I don\'t think I\'ll buy that today." She
> said "OK" and I paid her for the things and left. She
> had no clue to what had just happened.....
> MAKES YOU WONDER HOW THESE PEOPLE CAN SURVIVE!!!
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> A lady at work was seen putting a credit card into
> her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly.
> When inquired as to what she was doing, she said
> she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking
> for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM
> "thingy".
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping
> beside her car. Do you need some help?" I asked.
> She replied, "I knew I should have replaced the battery
> to this remote door unlocker. Now I can\'t get into
> my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant
> convenient store) would have a battery to fit this?" "Hmmm, I
> dunno. Do you have an alarm too?" I asked. "No, just
> this remote thingy," she answered, handing it and
> the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually
> unlocked the door, I replied, "Why don\'t you drive
> over there and check about the batteries. It\'s a long walk.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too
> swift. One day she was typing and turned to a
> secretary and said, "I\'m almost out of typing paper.
> What do I do?" "Just use copier machine paper,"
> the secretary told her. With that, the intern took
> her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on
> the photocopier and proceeded to make five "blank"
> copies.
>
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
> I was in a car dealership a while ago, when a large
> motor home was towed into the garage. The front of
> the vehicle was in dire need of repair and the
> whole thing generally looked like an extra in Twister." I
> asked the manager what had happened. He told me
> that the driver had set the "cruise control" and then
> went in the back to make a sandwich.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> IDIOTS AT WORK... Sign in a gas station: Coke 49
> cents. Two for a dollar.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> IDIOTS & COMPUTERS... My neighbor works in the
> operations department in the central office of a
> large bank. Employees in the field call him when
> they have problems with their computers. One night he
> got a call from a woman in one of the branch banks who
> had this question: "I\'ve got smoke coming from the
> back of my terminal. Do you guys have a fire
> downtown?"
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> IDIOTS ARE EASY TO PLEASE: I was sitting in my
> science class, when the teacher commented that the
> next day would be the shortest day of the year. My
> lab partner became visibly excited, cheering and
> clapping. I explained to her that the amount of
> daylight changes, not the actual amount of time.
> Needless to say, she was very disappointed.
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
> Police in Radnor, Pennsylvania, interrogated a
> suspect by placing a metal colander on his head and
> connecting it with wires to a photocopy machine.
> The message "He\'s lying" was placed in the copier,
> and police pressed the copy button each time they
> thought the suspect wasn\'t telling the truth.
> Believing the "lie detector" was working, the suspect confessed.
>
> "Life is tough. It\'s tougher if you\'re stupid."