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Author Topic: God went to the Germans and said...  (Read 717 times)

Offline luckee
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God went to the Germans and said...
« on: January 09, 2003, 03:43:19 PM »
"I have Commandments for you that will
make your lives better."
And the Germans asked, "What are Commandments?"
And the Lord said, "They are rules for living."
"Can you give us an example?"
"Thou shalt not kill."
"Not kill? We\'re not interested."
So He went to the Italians and said, "I have Commandments."
And the Italians wanted an example, and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not
steal."
"Not steal? We\'re not interested."
He went to the French and said, "I have Commandments."
The French wanted an example and the Lord said, "Thou shalt not covet thy
neighbor\'s wife."
"Not covet my neighbor\'s wife? We\'re not interested."
He went to the Jews and said, "I have Commandments."
"Commandments?" they said, "how much are they?"
"They\'re free."
"We\'ll take 10."
\"Booze, broads, and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?\"-Harry Caray

Don\'t cry over spilled milk., It could have been Whiskey.-Me

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.-George Washington

Offline Mr. Kennedy
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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #1 on: January 09, 2003, 04:01:36 PM »
WTF are you talking about...  please let me know where you get your crack, I\'d like some...  seriously, whats with the gay shit?
\"In the last 12 months 100,000 private sector jobs have been lost and yet you\'ve created 30,000 public sector jobs. Prime Minister, you cannot carry on forever squeezing the productive bit of the economy in order to fund an unprecidented engorgement of the unproductive bit. You cannot spend your way out of recession or borrow your way out of debt.\" - Daniel Hannan

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Offline Unicron!
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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #2 on: January 09, 2003, 04:42:24 PM »
Hehehe I ve heard that joke before.

Offline Titan

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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #3 on: January 09, 2003, 05:33:48 PM »
I thought it was alright.
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"LOL u know id fuck yu wsboth right? i would love to fuck the both of uyouy

U R FUCJKGIN FCUTE" -THX to luke and Bob

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13 year old boys sleep with older women cause theyd be stupid not to

Offline Metal Gear
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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #4 on: January 10, 2003, 10:07:42 AM »
It sounds to me like you are the one doing crack The Hurricane.
I\'m like King Midas in reverse.Everything I touch turns to shit.  -Tony Soprano-
Homer: Marge you gotta help me. I have to do one good deed in the next 24 hours to get to heaven.
Marge: Well, you could clean the garage, mow the lawn, paint the house...
Homer: Whoa, Whoa, Whoa. I\'m just trying to get in, not run for Jesus.

Offline mjps21983
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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #5 on: January 10, 2003, 10:35:42 AM »
It was humerous, just not laugh out loud humerous.

Offline project86
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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #6 on: January 10, 2003, 10:45:06 AM »
Yeah that was pretty good. I chuckled a bit, not enough to blow chocolate milk out of my nose but I thought it was worth a ha, ha.
\"I post, therefore I am...\" - project86

Offline Rick
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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #7 on: January 10, 2003, 10:51:34 AM »
/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\/\\

WHERE THE F*CK HAVE YOU BEEN?

I thought you\'d died!
Get a new rule book

Offline Kurt Angle

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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #8 on: January 10, 2003, 01:03:52 PM »
Hey, its project86!!!!!!

Welcome back, I\'ve missed that avatar :D

Offline square_marker
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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #9 on: January 10, 2003, 01:05:42 PM »
what if i was jewish, french, italian, and german?
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Offline kirath
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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #10 on: January 11, 2003, 08:34:04 AM »
What if you were?  Do you want us to care?
www.doodmonkeyradio.com 24/7 dnb and underground hiphop
Word to the mothership

Offline CHIZZY

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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #11 on: January 11, 2003, 10:55:58 AM »
welcome back, project86, how\'s the kid?

BTW I loved that joke...
Dinosaurs were killed in the flood. -#RaCeR#
Halle Berry just loves to give me the \"Dutch Oven\". That\'s why I stopped going down on her. It pisses me off so much that I just bang her til she faints. Bitch.-GmanJoe
i just try to make my sefhappy , by beng i company of fri

Offline square_marker
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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #12 on: January 11, 2003, 01:59:13 PM »
im not jewish or french.....and....i duno   you would be a bum if ya were
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Offline jinxx
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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #13 on: January 11, 2003, 07:30:40 PM »
yes, that joke was to quote Project86 "...worth a haha"  And if you were all those nationallities then you have some ****ed up lineage
I never wanted to change the world, i only wanted the simple things, if this is my stage i hope you can hear me screaming, i dont want this shit anymore......

Offline fastson
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God went to the Germans and said...
« Reply #14 on: January 12, 2003, 01:39:11 AM »
Last month, a worldwide survey was conducted by the UN  
-- The only question asked was:  
"Would you please give your honest opinion about solutions to the food shortage in the rest of the world?"  
The survey was a HUGE failure.  
In Africa they didn\'t know what "food" meant.  
In Eastern Europe they didn\'t now what "honest" meant.  
In Western Europe they didn\'t know what "shortage" meant.  
In China they didn\'t know what "opinion" meant.  
In the Middle East they didn\'t know what "solution" meant.  
In South America they didn\'t know what "please" meant.  
And in the USA they didn\'t know what "the rest of the world" meant.
\"Behold, my son, with how little wisdom the world is governed\"
-Axel Oxenstierna 1648

 

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