From the mouth of Peter Kay...

From Peter Kay (an english comedian to those who dont know). Some are worryingly true.

1) Triangular sandwiches taste better than square ones.

 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.

4) You\'ve never quite sure whether it\'s ok to eat green crisps.
 
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80\'s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

6) Reading when you\'re drunk is horrible.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You\'re never quite sure whether it\'s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

10) Nobody ever dares make cup-a-soup in a bowl.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
 
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
 
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

21) Old women with mobile phones look wrong!
 
22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

23) Driving through a tunnel makes you feel excited.

24) You never ever run out of salt.

25) Old ladies can eat more than you think.

26) You can\'t respect a man who carries a dog.

27) There\'s no panic like the panic you momentarily feel when you\'ve got your hand or head stuck in something.
 
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

29) Despite constant warning, you have never met anybody who has had their arm broken by a swan.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

31) People who don\'t drive slam car doors too hard

32) You\'ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.
 
33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

34) Bricks are horrible to carry.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

[Kurt Angle]

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80\'s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

True dat!:D

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

I never win.

[Titan]

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80\'s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

We still do that today. I\'ve shown it to people and they are like "damn"

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.

Its true. I have no idea how to describe it. It smells bad.
 

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.

We had something run into our school but it wasn\'t a dog. We had a huge fat rat run in. About a week ago, there was a bird that flew in.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

True dat. I did that so often when I was little. Actually only a few times. But when someone else did it, we always got on his ass.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.

True dat. I\'m undefeated
 

28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

I\'ve got so many its not even funny. I don\'t know where the hell they came from.

33) Everyone had an uncle who tried to steal their nose.

My uncle still has mine
[/B][/QUOTE]

[Cerberus]

Originally posted by Rick
From Peter Kay (an english comedian to those who dont know). Some are worryingly true.


 2) At the end of every party there is always a girl crying.

3) One of the most awkward things that can happen in a pub is when your pint-to-toilet cycle gets synchronised with a complete stranger.
 
5) Everyone who grew up in the 80\'s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

8) You\'re never quite sure whether it\'s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

11) You never know where to look when eating a banana.

12) Its impossible to describe the smell of a wet cat.
 
13) Prodding a fire with a stick makes you feel manly.

14) Rummaging in an overgrown garden will always turn up a bouncy ball.

15) You always feel a bit scared when stroking horses.

16) Everyone always remembers the day a dog ran into your school.
 
19) Some days you see lots of people on crutches.

20) Every bloke has at some stage while taking a pee flushed half way through and then raced against the flush.
 
28) No one knows the origins of their metal coat hangers.

30) The most painful household incident is wearing socks and stepping on an upturned plug.

32) You\'ve turned into your dad the day you put aside a thin piece of wood specifically to stir paint with.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

All those are true, especially  number 3. That has to be the most uncomfortable feeling known to man.......... no hang on, the most uncomfortable feeling has to be going into a public toilet for a crap, sitting down, and the toilet seat is still warm.

Originally posted by Rick
. 18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
 .

looks like i may have a new Sig .

[§ôµÏG®ïñD]

Originally posted by Rick
From Peter Kay (an english comedian to those who dont know). Some are worryingly true.

5) Everyone who grew up in the 80\'s has entered the digits 55378008 into a calculator.

Boobless rulez.

7) Sharpening a pencil with a knife makes you feel really manly.

nope, it\'s the stabbing part that makes me feel manly.

8) You\'re never quite sure whether it\'s against the law or not to have a fire in your back garden.

not against the law here.

17) The most embarrassing thing you can do as schoolchild is to call your teacher mum or dad.

.. nope, more like farting when there\'s complete silence.

18) The smaller the monkey the more it looks like it would kill you at the first given opportunity.
 

 so true.. They\'re devils the little ones.. evil i tellz ya.

22) Its impossible to look cool whilst picking up a Frisbee.

 It\'s impossible to look kewl using one.

26) You can\'t respect a man who carries a dog.

u can if it\'s as big as the man.

35) In every plate of chips there is a bad chip.

can\'t have the good without the bad.

rofl, some of these are soo funny..... there are to many great ones to quote