You sure do take your time writing these out. LOL. You bored or something?
I do sit around and watch porn frequently...whoops, i just admit it. But who doesn\'t watches porn though? And I do like those music that you consider "gay", although "My Heart Will Go On" is just an all right song.
12: Rethink your entire attitude. Don\'t think "oh I like gay music but that\'s fine"...NO, IT IS NOT FINE. Being a gay little bitch fails to get you chicks. Lic is right, women desire confidence over all else. They dislike watching you prance around. Stumbling and talking about stupid things like Celin Dion hurts too. Talk about how confident and healthy you are. Women seek mates who can live long and support their child. Be like hey I don\'t smoke, I work out, barely been sick in my life, I just do and it get done.
Don\'t be a little faggot like poli, be a grown ass man. Pretend, act, whatever.
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Who is this anamoly we call Jumpman? How is he able to do what he does and still survive after years of torment? It seems he feeds on the hate, growing with an intense passion to put unassuming members in their place.
Celine Dion is not really my type of artist, she has an amazing vocal for sure. But I prefer other artists more, usually one that are more contemporary.
I will just go with the flow in life. I don\'t know if I will get confidence, strong, or healthy. But its all right. But I am not going to pretend to act like I am healthy and confidence. Too much work and I am not good at pretending.
You really don\'t want laid, do you? I mean, we\'re here, giving you tips. And you keep digging yourself a bigger hole. Don\'t mention Celine Dion as a vocalist. Don\'t mention being strong or healthy. Just act like its nothing.
You\'re a year younger than me. You know when I lost my virginity? I was 15, banging away on a 25 year old. This should be you. You should be, right now, banging away on some chick.
Spitting on your hand and pretending it\'s a blowjob only lasts so long, man. Eventually, you gotta sink it in.
13: Make the first move. If nothing else, look at it like this. Go up, ask a girl if she wants to fuck. Most likely, she\'ll say no. You ask enough girls, one will say yes. Bingo, you just got laid. If this is what it takes, then do that.
If that doesn\'t work - try this. You think a girl is into you? Just walk up, smack her on the ass. I mean, be sure she is into you - if she is, she\'ll find that hot. It never fails. If she isn\'t into you, you may get smacked. Just make sure she is into you.
Need a real life example? A girl I work with recently was hanging outside of my office, I had a rolled up magazine in my hand. I walked behind her, smacked her on the ass and winked at her. You know her response?
"That was kind of hot..."
Yeah, see..That\'s how it works. I knew she was into me, I took a chance, smacked her on the ass, showing her my sexual desire for her and she responded. It\'s that simple. I now know, from that brief interaction, that I can go further and pursue things with her.
14: There is a reason rappers / rockers get all the chicks. Because they make women sexual. They make it obvious what they want. To dominate them. Women dig that shit. It makes them feel good about themselves, knowing that you want to defile them in every possible way.
15: You don\'t need a large penis. I have an average / sorta small one. Just make it clear you have other talents and enjoy demonstrating those talents. Fuck, make a joke about your small dick. It makes women curious just how small you are and then, they\'ll wanna fuck you. By the time your pants is off, they\'re gonna pity fuck you at the very least. I\'m serious man, this shit works. I\'ve used it so many times. You make them curious, they\'ll do fucking anything short of letting you go R.Kelly on \'em.
16: Separate sex from emotions. This is the hard one. You\'ll fall for the first girl that really rocks your world. Don\'t , man. It\'s just sex. There doesn\'t have to be an emotional attachment. In fact, if not for the whole modern civilization nonsense, we wouldn\'t even have fuckin\' marriages and monogamous relationships. We\'re animals. We are meant to spread our seed to everything possible. How do we do that? By screwing every chick that walks by us. SEPARATE SEX FROM EMOTIONS !!! I only mention this rule, because , provided you do take our advice and do get laid, I know what will happen. You\'ll fall in "love". That\'s not what the goal here. The goal here is just to get you close enough to a girl, that she\'ll let you dip your hotdog in her bun.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2009, 01:40:22 PM by Living-In-Clip »
Watch the video Paul. Fucking memorize it man. Kissing is the single most crucial thing. If you can\'t kiss, you are going to have problems making it past that first base.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2009, 01:10:09 PM by Living-In-Clip »
You need a "fuck buddy". Every guy needs one. Married men, need one. Single men, need one. Homosexual men, need one. Fuckin\', preachers need one.
Just be aware of the fact your "fuck buddy" probably has other "fuck buddies". It happens. You just have to get over that mental block. It\'s rough, trust me. Just don\'t focus on it - when you\'re about to do her. Don\'t compare yourself to them, just be yourself. Do your thing. And if you\'re smart about it, you\'ll also have other "fuck buddies" or a wife - whatever works in your situation.
Paul, I\'m going to teach you the game. You just got to get your gear on and want to play it.
« Last Edit: January 11, 2009, 05:37:03 PM by Living-In-Clip »
I\'m not really sure what Tropic Thunder had to do with this. But I support the clip!
We need background info, Paul. Ever been with a girl? If so - how far?
You do like girls, right? If you\'re gay, that\'s fine. Just tell us and we\'ll stop this rescue mission.
What\'s your type? Skinny? Big? Small? Tall? Glasses? Blind? Black? White? What\'s your type, man? For example, I prefer a skinny, young brunette with glasses. However, I\'ll hit anything that\'s female with a pulse. That\'s my general rule. I prefer those brunettes with glasses, but I\'m not gonna pass up the ugly chick also. She is a means to an end, you know? You gotta have a type. What\'s your type, man?
What\'s your plan? Every guy has a plan for that big moment. What\'s your plan? Just stick it in and get it done. Or maybe lick around the center a bit? Plan man. What\'s your fuckin\' plan?
And I just want to say this..
I am disgusted by this board! We have all been around each other all these years. Helped each other through relationships and now, you guys are fuckin\' turning your back on Paul. Help me, help him!!! Some of you fuckers are married, give the boy some tips. Some of you are total players - give the boy some game. Fuck, I\'m here trying to help him. [/b]
« Last Edit: January 11, 2009, 06:08:40 PM by Living-In-Clip »
Damn will the real LIC please stand up?...This thread is hilarious.....classic "LIC" fo sho!!...to be honest it\'s hard to follow anything LIC has stated, because he\'s nailed everything. Paul, Don\'t believe that garbage about how women like their men to be sensistive softies and cater to their every whim....women actually hate that.
In truth they want to somebody that exemplifies confidence and has exceptional swag to boost..ahem "like yours truly"...:fro:....and LIC is right when states let the girl come to you...you can go after her, but only if you know the vibe is there. I\'ve told the story of how i met this chick that looked like that short haired blond chick from the 90\'s show "melrose place"....i was just minding my business and she came up to me and generally stated she wanted to go somewhere and "chill". She was from sweden and fine as hell...i caused a catastrophy up in the cave that night.
If you\'re a good looking guy that also helps..."chicks like to rub on my bald dome"..both of them by the way......if anything else,..even if you\'re an ugly lookin\' dude at the end of the day you must have confidence...how do you think the ugliest guys that DON"T have money still be with the hottest chicks you\'ve ever seen?...yep they mind-fucked those women that previously no one would\'ve ever thought to have tried to talk to,...
Remember it\'s good to be yourself, but confidence is big...and a little bulls**ting doesn\'t hurt either. If you work in inventory stock for walmart, just say you\'re a "shipping and receiving specialist contractor for walmart"...:fro:...don\'t worry Paul, we\'ll have you giving these chickenheads some stiff backshots and have them screamin\' your name and sayin "LAWD HAMMERCY" in no time!!!!....:thumb:
« Last Edit: January 12, 2009, 06:43:40 AM by clips »
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knowledge, wisdom & understanding..these are the basic fundamentals of life
if you can\'t amaze them with brilliance, baffle them with bullsh*t....
Yeah, Clips is right. Man, don\'t be sensitive and all that shit. Save that for when you wanna get married.
Example? I was texting some young girl right recently (Not Dateline / Chris Hanson young tho!) - telling her about all the shit I\'m gonna do to her next time I see her. None of it\'s G-rated man and she likes that. She likes the fact I\'m confident enough to just come out and tell her, "hey, I\'m gonna fuck ya silly".
I ain\'t exactly handsome or built, but you just gotta roll with it, man. You just gotta make her think she\'s privileged to stick your dick in her mouth. That\'s the key man. That\'s all it is.
Oh and since Clips mentioned being bald. Dude, for fucking love of all that is Holy, shave your pubes. Not only does it make the tree look bigger (no forest = tree look bigger, simple math) it also encourages your lady friend (god, I hope its a lady) to go down on you. No woman wants a big mouth of hair, but all women want a mouth of pecker. Well, most, of course there are the ones who are sort of like guys (SEE: Sara, our resident lesbian - which is hot ).
Let me tell you a story.....Just sit down and relax. I work with a dude who is older than me, he is 27 I believe. He never ever tells his "fat girl" story. You know, the story that every guy has, that begins with "just how fat was she?". We\'ve never seen him with a chick. But we know he\'s not gay, because he stares at women in an almost creepy manner. So, being the brilliant group we are , we have deduced he is a virgin.
So, as a friend, I invite him to an out of town concert. I figure this is a good chance to get the boy laid. Now, my original thought is I am going to pay a hooker to suck his dick. On the way there, I make it clear, that being the good friend I am, that I will do this for him. He turns me down. He continues to ramble about how he doesn\'t need a hooker... We arrive at the venue early and all he keeps talking about is wanting some beer. No one else is there, except this one chick. She\'s kinda chunky, has a heat rash between her breast (She had big breasts). She\'s wearing fishnet stockings and is totally doable... She talks to us both, I make it clear that I\'m not single and that he is. She talks to him - tell hims she has beer in the car and asks if he is interested in going back to her car. He pulls, what I now call a "Paul". He tells her no. He fucking says he doesn\'t drink. WTF?
She continues to talk to us and this point, I tell him to fuck her or I\'m gonna fuck her and that I was just being polite and passing her down to him earlier. He starts chain smoking, he does everything possible to avoid the girl and she loses interest in him. Now, I\'m not going to tell you who ended up fucking her, as it should be obvious who ended up fucking her (hint: not the guy who is scared).
You know what though? This mother fucker had the nerve to ask if we could stop at the strip club on the way back. Honestly, what the fuck? He wants to pay to look at fucking boobs, go home and jack off in his mother\'s fucking basement, when he could of been fucking some girl in her car before a concert (and she wasn\'t *that* bad). Guess what? I\'ll never take this mother fucker anywhere, ever again. I mean, fucking seriously - he passed up pussy and wants to stop at the strip joint? Don\'t let that be you, Paul.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2009, 08:19:03 AM by Living-In-Clip »
Read the article, Paul. Don\'t let this part be you.
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But it can be a problem if you are regularly masturbating in preference to sharing pleasure with your partner (assuming they would like to share it with you) or, if you have no partner, in preference to following up any opportunities there may be to develop relationships with other people. Then you could be said to be hooked on masturbation, addicted to it.
I mean, I stroke it a lot, even when getting laid. Hell, I done it twice yesterday, once today and I\'m still getting laid. It\'s a way to pass time, ya\' know? But, come on. I\'m still taking the whole fishing pole and throwing it in the pond, ya\' know?
What state you live in, Paul? Cruise the personals man. Fuck, post a personal. Be honest, say you\'re a virgin. Women eat that shit up. Be the first one to properly fuck you, man, you\'ll get a ton of requests. I\'m serious dude. You have an ace card , a get out of fuckin jail free card. Use that card.
« Last Edit: January 12, 2009, 08:25:32 AM by Living-In-Clip »
LOL. I am all right. I am not complaining you know. I am not as fortunate as you are, but I am okay with it.
You touch yourself a lot, don\'t you?
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\"Gee, I dunno. If I was a chick, I\'d probably want a kiss (or more) from Durst, too.\"--SineSwiper 9/23/03 (from another forum) Originally posted by Seed_Of_Evil I must admit that the last pic of her ass will be used in my next masturbation. She\'s hot as hell, one of my
But who doesn\'t watches porn though? And I do like those music that you consider "gay", although "My Heart Will Go On" is just an all right song.
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..classic "LIC" fo sho!!...to be honest it\'s hard to follow anything LIC has stated, because he\'s nailed everything. Paul, Don\'t believe that garbage about how women like their men to be sensistive softies and cater to their every whim....women actually hate that.
