hey guys, well this is whats happened.
I\'ve been with my gf for about 10 years now and
We’re building a house together; when it was finished I was going to ask her to marry me. I thought everything was going good. She recently split from me telling me she loves me but isn\'t IN love with me.
I\'m having trouble moving forward because all I can do is think of her and what went wrong. She never spoke to me about the problems she was having with me but told other friends that she tried. I know I’ve made big mistakes and took advantage of her, asking her to do things that I could have done, but she didn’t say no. I didn’t realize it was such a big issue. I also did things for her too.
What I’m struggling with is the she\'s broken up with me 3 times now. First time when we were young she called me and asked me to come over to her house and if I didn\'t, I didn\'t love her. Of course I got upset and went straight to her house.
A few years pass and everything was going great, I go around to her aunts house and she’s crying in the driveway telling me that she doesn\'t love me anymore, which gets me upset and she turns around saying why didn\'t u tell me how u felt and again, we get back together. (I tell her I love her every single day)
The last time we go to Philip Island to a motel and there\'s a spa bath that’s dirty. She got upset about it and I cleaned it thinking that would be good enough for her. In hind sight I know now I should have complained to management because that’s what she wanted. Anyway, the rest of the weekend I thought went ok and we get back to home. A few days later she\'s upset telling me she not in-love with me anymore but she still loves me, during this she\'s crying and I’m thinking how she can possibly believe what she’s saying while crying. A week passes and she turns around and says forget about last week, that she was just emotional and that she does love me still. We start to build a house together; She tells me that she doesn’t feel butterflies anymore when we kiss, I always thought that happens only during the courting stage of a relationship and as time passes. It becomes much deeper, a partnership, bond etc.
Anyway i’m thinking everything is going great. I\'m waiting at her house waiting for her to come home so we can go out for dinner. She walks in basically telling me again, she’s not in love with me and its over while still being upset. I couldn\'t feel anything, but at the same time I felt everything.
She\'s been talking to a mutual friend finding out how i feel, if I’m ok but at the same time she\'s just as upset as I am. I can’t understand how are even at this point when I love her more then anything in the world and she must be feeling the same.,
I know I’ve done things wrong and she has too. Example would be if I was going out with mates I’d ask her if she minds, she\'d say no go for it. But I felt she did mind and yet still went... All she had to say to me was no, and I would have stayed with her. She’s had lots of problems in her past which I won’t go into and I’ve stayed with her the entire time. Most guys would have run for the hills. She’s asked for time to think things through, she’s moved out of her home to get away from her family (or so i\'ve been told) and has cut communication totally off from me. I’m finding it the hardest thing in my life to cope with. I miss her; I can’t touch her, talk to her. It’s almost like she’s dead and I feel there’s nothing I can do to get her back, when all I want to do is fight to get her back I’m finding it hard to think, even when I walk I feel like I’ve been hit with a sledge hammer and I’m always in a dazed state. If I could turn back time I would change everything. I just need that chance from her to prove it. My family is part of the reason this happened and so is hers.
I just wished they all stayed out of it and left us alone. So now i\'m going to be in debt after the house gets sold. The worst part of all of this is lisa never even gave me a chance to make up for whatever i\'ve done. She didn\'t even try. Her father told me to give her space and let her figure out herself but she\'s emailed me messages saying its over and at the same time, was talking to our mutural friend as if she was trying to patch things up.. As far as i\'m concerned she\'s cheating on me and is to gutless to face me or her father and tell the truth.
Signs of this were she cut her hair, her attitude totally changed from being lisa to a totally different person, she complained that i didn\'t try to have any involvement in building the house and when i started she got upset saying that i could piss off the builders and they\'d get angry and stop building.. it was over temp fences which weren\'t up..
we both decided that when the frame was finished i\'d call if there still wasn\'t a fence done.. She then turned around and asked why i wasn\'t sitting close to her, so of course i pulled her close to me. I just can\'t understand whats going on, she wanted space and i did sms and email her a lot, not giving her that space, so she may have just got angry and replied with those breakup emails.. I donno, i\'m giving her her space but without her communicating to me at all tells me that shes already moved on and is most like rooting someone else behind my back.
any ideas?
