yup. i guess if you are lucky, you will not get molested at all or at such a young age where its likely you will get a fuck up penis. i guess i get fucked-up penis mostly because my pee pee is still very premature that time.
i remember having stretch marks on my lower back maybe the first time i notice it might be when i was 10 or 11th years old. and i remember around 12 years old when i first started 7th grade not long, like for a few days in P.E. in middle school. some physicians check the students body. i remember outside the locker room, either before dressing up for P.E. or after dressing up for P.E., some physicians have the students line up for body check-up.
They told the students to take off the shirts, so they can inspect the body like front and back. and i remember some student guy in front of me has no stretch marks on his lower back while mine does. i remember the physician touch the stretch marks on my lower back and asked me what are these. i wasn\'t even sure and i didn\'t say anything and she just let me go and i went to p.e.
so, i guess the infections on my fucked-up penis spread to my balls, and to my entire body - arms, legs, torso, neck, and head too. the weird thing is i don\'t have tuberculosis shown on my face. you know like goosebumps pimples on my face like it does to my entire body. not only that, but i also get stretch marks between my legs, and on my lower back too. i guess as i grow up, the infections somehow affect my body like my back and between my legs where i get stretch marks. the saddest part must be the infection affect my brain where it affect my emotions. like you know how people get goosebumps when they get emotional. not only that, but it also makes me very unstable too at times and it affect my self-esteem like self-worth.
i remember a social-worker in a psych hospital asked the patients something like this, "does anybody here felt like they don\'t deserve it when good things happen to them." i remember raising my hand.
that time i didn\'t really think much about tuberculosis, but now that i think about it lately in this past few months, i guess its quite dangerous when it affect your brain because it messed up with your emotion and self-esteem. say like when somebody is nice to me, i felt like i don\'t deserve that person to be nice to me. that\'s why its best not to have any kind of infection on the private area where it affects your brain, especially at young age.
i guess the social worker seen or known how miserable i was, and known what i been through. she also knows i wasn\'t able to make decisions for myself too and i let other people make decisions for me. not only that, but when good things happened to me like it go my way, i felt like i don\'t deserve it. that\'s probably how she realized something and asked a very good question.
