that sucks that you still have depression. if its go away completely for good in the future. maybe you should stop taking it so you don't have to worry about a very small chance of getting side effect and having to remember to take it every day.
i have a mild case of social anxiety disorder, paranoia, pervert disorder, and narcissm disorder though because of the very strong ear pulled when i was a kid by another kid. eventually i had surgery remove from the head scar on my upper left side of my head to get rid of the pain and anger of where the scar was. the kid that bullied me when i was a kid pulled my left ear so hard that the left side of my head stretched out and i got a scar there on the upper left side of my head that gave me a stroke on where the scar was.
removing it completely rid of the pain and anger. i had 3 surgeries to remove the scar completely. he didn't surgically remove the scar completely on the first 2 surgeries. on the 3rd surgeries i had, i think he over remove the scar that he probably remove the scalp that has hair on it too. because of a misunderstanding. he over removed the scar and a little of the scalp on my head too. then 3 days later after the surgery, my nephew touched the scar that has stitches on it and the pain come back somewhat. and whenever i have pain on where the scar is and any pain on my head, i got angry easily. but overall, its much, much better than not getting surgery to get rid of the scar at all which got rid of the stroke that i had.
i also got a lump on the left temple of my face too because of the left ear pulled that gave me pervert and narccism order. like over 14 years later after the ear pulled, i acupunctured the lump on my left temple by myself and discovered it rid of my narcissm disorder. it took 5 days to see results. like 2 or 3 weeks later, the lump grew back and the narcissm came back too but the narcissm is a bit less severe though. then a little over 4 years later, i acupunctured my left temple again and this time i paid attention to see if it also rid of my pervert disorder too and it did rid of it completely. its also took 5 days to see result. again, about 2 to 3 weeks later, the lump on my left temple grew back and pervert and narcissm disorders come back too. but overall it rid of the pervert disorder a little bit though i think.
oh yeah, the lump on my left temple also gives me mild social anxiety disorder and paranoia too. acupuncture it reduces my mild s.a.d. (social anxiety disorder) and paranoia a lot but like 3 weeks later when the lump grew back. the s.a.d. and paranoia come back too. overall it's a bit less severe compare to before the acupuncture. i think i need like a surgery to remove the stretch out skin on my left temple and stitches the skin together to get rid of the lump so in hoping to rid all the mental disorders i had but i am kind of worry to do it. i am afraid the surgeon might not give me a proper surgery.
the medication zyprexa i take also reduce my s.a.d. and paranoia but not completely though. it also reduces my pervert disorder a little to somewhat too. narcissm is still somewhat the same though. 2 nights ago, i can feel the medication works where i can feel it repair brain cells on the scalp of both sides of my head. the good news is my s.a.d. and paranoia disorder is somewhat reduce. the bad news is that its not completely gone though. hopefully one day, the medication rid of it completely.
i remember over 3 years ago my previous psychiatrist prescript me escitalopram because i told him i have social anxiety disorder. maybe because i didn't know what s.a.d. called in vietnamese, he probably though i get scare around people which is also the case. anyway, the medication escitalopram that he prescript me gave me a very mild to mild pedophilia's disorder i think. it took like 2 to 3 weeks taking it to get that disorder. i didn't realize that was the case until another month or 2 later to realize that. the cool thing is, the psychiatrist off that med for me when i talked him on the phone again on the day i had appointment with him even though i didn't tell him that it gave me mild pedeophile disorder.
then about another year and half later, in around mid 2024, he prescript me trazodone to help with my sleep because of the sleep problems i have. like some days, i sleep okay, and then some days, i couldn't sleep at all or not enough that another some days later, i oversleep to make up for it. because i told him that, he prescript me trazodone and like another month pass iirc, i still have sleep problems, and he double the strength of trazodone, and i still have sleep problems. so like another month after that, i told him i still have sleep problem, that he up the dose 3 times from the 2 times that he already increased it which total 6 times the strength of the normal dose he gave me 2 months prior.
late that night, about half an hour later after i took that strength of med, i start having a mild heart attack on and off. i regret taking this med and at this strength. the mild heart attack didn't go away completely until sometimes in the morning maybe 6 or 7 a.m. is where it went away completely. i texted him that, and not long later, he called me on the phone, he said he will off this med and prescript me a different med. i said i don't want to take any other meds except zyprexa because of their side effects. he said he can't do that because i have sleep problems and if i don't take med for it then he will close the file on me and i don't have to see him anymore and told me to see a different psychiatrist which thanks to my mom's help i did see a different psychiatrist.
i learned that the hard way, no matter what, i will take zyprexa only and no other medications since august 2024 because of their side effects. not only other meds don't help but it give me unwanted side effects except zyprexa.
around may 8 of 2025, i think the very mild to mild pedeophile disorder is gone completely i think. again, escitalopram doesn't reduce or rid of my s.a.d. but it gave me a mild pedeophile disorder that can get me in trouble.
so far, i been doing pretty good especially the zyprexa seems to help me somewhat with my s.a.d. and paranoia lately. its also reduces my pervert disorder somewhat too i think.