My cat Camelot: You aren\'t SUPPOSED to remove a cat\'s BACK claws too! *rub rub rub* Ack, this is just making the itch worse! I\'m going to kill that surgeon...
My cat Setsuko: Where did they get that stupid name from?
Plastic chair I\'m sitting on: Why do I always get blamed for the gas releases?
Battery-powered car: I\'m efficient and leave less polution.
Big mac truck: Oh yeah? Nerd... *beats up smaller less-popular car*
Man walking into joke shop: *falls into ocean on other side of fake building*
Delete key: I am the most over-used button on this board.
Guy thinking up names for constellations: Pass me the joint, hey that looks like a bear!
Patient: I really wish you wouldn\'t write down everything I say to make me seem even more crazy.
Psychiatrist: I see *writes in clip board*
Hitler: Was I REALLY that bad?
Guy next to him: You killed millions of people based on race alone!
Hitler: Oh, right.
Phone: riiiiiiing! (Translation: I am here to interupt whatever person you were just talking to because I am more important.)
Software Pirate: Well, you see I think that taking software without paying and passing out free copies of it to other people who didn\'t pay actually helps the companies out!
Boogie Bass: *singing* Put me in the water!
Software Pirate: I\'m glad you asked. By doing this, we can make the product popular and thus have lots of people decide to pay for it.
Boogie Bass: But, the product could easily get well-known anyway, and then they would also have the money you would have paid as well as the guys who downloaded it from you. Not to mention if these guys get the info about this product from someone who pirates, they aren\'t exactly going to be willing to pay for what their friend got for free. Then, the company sees a huge drop in profits and stops making upgrades to that product.
Software Pirate: What?
Boogie Bass: Um, I mean, *singing* I use batteries not gas, I\'m the funky boogie bass!
Wiken: Any spell you cast comes back times 3, that\'s why we only cast good spells.
RPG Nut: So, you cast spells based on personal gain? Besides, that only works if you cast a spell on three targets with reflect status.
TV: And now, from the people who brought you Deadliest Car Chases 6, we bring you "Catholic Confessions".
Man: Well, sir, um, its hard to say.
Father: Go ahead, I\'m here to help.
Man: Well, lately I\'ve been covetting my neighbor\'s wife.
Father: And has she, "covetted" you back?
Man: Well you see...
Father: I\'m sorry, could you lean forward and, tip to the right slightly?
Samwise: No, these in fact are not implants.
Dolly Parton: Really? Neither are mine. *checks bosom* HEY! COME BACK HERE WITH THOSE!
Abraham Lincoln: Yes, that is my picture on the $5 Bill
$5 Bill: I\'m Legal! And Tender!
: I\'ve been bouncing for MONTHS PLEASE LET ME REST.
Aaron: Rules are rules, follow them or I\'ll delete your HOUSE and ban your CAT.
Jack Torrance: I\'ve been having these urges lately, you know?
Hannibal Lector: Is that so? Let\'s go out for a bite to eat, and tell me all about it.
San Diego Chargers: We will win this year!
Chargers fans: Yeah! Maybe even twice!
Harry Mason: Mr. Monkey, have you seen a little girl around here?
Clyde: I see no human girls. And if you call me Mr. Monkey again, I\'ll disembowel you with a spork.
Harry Mason: Ha, I\'ve been through that entire town, I\'ve seen much worse than spork disembowelment.
##RaCeR##: Shut up, that\'s disgusting. You are gay.
Regent Weber: Silent Hill is awesome.
Jumpman: Silent Hill SUCKS! How could anyone like that piece of crap? Jesus, you morons need to go read a book on how to like games!
:nerd: : Come sex me!
