A guy in a mask bursts into a sperm bank with a shotgun.
"Open the ****ing safe" he yells at the girl behind
the counter.
"But we\'re not a real bank" she replies. "We don\'t have
any money; this is a sperm bank".
"Don\'t argue!..........Open the ****ing safe or I\'ll blow
your head off"
She obliges and once she\'s opened the safe door the guy
says "Take out one of the bottles and drink it".
"But it\'s full of sperm!" she replies nervously.
"Don\'t argue, just drink it" he says.
She takes the cap off and gulps it down.
"Take out another one and drink it too" he demands.
She takes out another and drinks it as well.
Suddenly the guy pulls off the mask and, to the girl\'s
amazement, it\'s her husband.
"Not that ****ing difficult, is it?"
-----------
The National Science Foundation announced the following study results on
corporate America recreation preferences:
1. Sport of choice for maintenance level employees: BOWLING
2. Sport of choice for journeyman level workers: FOOTBALL
3. Sport of choice for supervisors: BASEBALL
4. Sport of choice for middle management: TENNIS
5. Sport of choice for corporate officers: GOLF
CONCLUSION:
The higher you are in the corporate structure, the smaller your balls.
-------
A man wakes up early one morning and decides to go duck hunting.
He tells his wife, "You\'ve got three choices; you can go duck hunting
with me, or I\'ll do you anally, or you can give me a blow job. I\'m gonna
load up the truck and get the dog out. Make up your mind before I get
back."
Hubby returns twenty minutes later and says, "Well what\'s it gonna be?"
She says, "There is no way I\'m going duck hunting, and you are not
going to do my ass, so I guess it\'s a blow job."
A couple minutes later she starts choking and spitting and says, "Damn,
you taste like ****."
"Oh yeah," he replies, "The dog didn\'t want to go duck huntin\' either."
----------
A young playboy took a blind date to an amusement park. They went for a
ride on the Ferris wheel. The ride completed, she seemed rather bored.
"What would you like to do next?" he asked.
"I wanna get weighed," she said.
So the young man took her over to the weight guesser. "One- twelve,"
said the man at the scale, and he was absolutely right. Next they rode
the roller coaster. After that, he bought her some popcorn and cotton
candy, then he asked what else she would like to do.
"I wanna get weighed," she said.
He really latched onto a square one tonight, thought the young man, and
using the excuse he had developed a headache, he took the girl home.
The girl\'s mother was surprised to see her home so early, and asked,
"What\'s wrong, dear, didn\'t you have a nice time tonight?"
"Wousy," said the girl.
