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Author Topic: Things that make ya go Hmmm....  (Read 679 times)

Offline luckee
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Things that make ya go Hmmm....
« on: November 08, 2001, 11:08:10 PM »
If people from Poland are called Poles, what are
     people from Holland called?

     "I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the
     English language. Could it be that "I do" is the
     longest sentence?

     Why do we say something is out of whack? What\'s a
     whack?

     If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled?

     Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It\'s just
     stale bread to begin with.

     When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and
     you put your two cents in, what happens to the other
     penny?

     If you take an oriental person and spin him around
     several times, does he become disoriented?

     Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money
     called a broker?

     When cheese gets it\'s picture taken, what does it say?

     Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist
     but a person drives a race car not called a racist?

     Why isn\'t 11 pronounced onety one?

     If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
     doesn\'t it follow that electricians can be delighted,
     musicians denoted?

     If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it
     Fed UP?

     Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks?

     I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible
     a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on
     me . . .they\'re cramming for their final exam.

     I thought about how mothers feed their babies with
     tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do
     Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks?

     Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
     Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why
     don\'t they just put their pictures on the postage
     stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they
     delivered the mail?

     If it\'s true that we are here to help others, then
     what exactly are the others here for?

     Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The
     mime next door went nuts.

     Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites?

     Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things?

     If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose?

     Whatever happened to preparations A through G?

     If soybean oil comes from soybeans, and olive oil
     comes from olives, and peanut oil comes from peanuts,
     where does baby oil come from?

     No one ever says "It\'s only a game", when their team
     is winning!
\"Booze, broads, and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?\"-Harry Caray

Don\'t cry over spilled milk., It could have been Whiskey.-Me

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.-George Washington

Offline SER
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Things that make ya go Hmmm....
« Reply #1 on: November 09, 2001, 02:56:46 AM »
If people from Poland are called Poles, what are
people from Holland called? - Europeans

"I am" is reportedly the shortest sentence in the
English language. Could it be that "I do" is the
longest sentence? - No, both have the same amount of words.

Why do we say something is out of whack? What\'s a
whack? - It\'s called slang.

If a pig loses its voice, is it disgruntled? - Pigs don\'t talk, so they don\'t have a voice.

Why do croutons come in airtight packages? It\'s just
stale bread to begin with. - To keep the freshness and keep it from rotting, molding, etc.

When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and
you put your two cents in, what happens to the other
penny? - It\'s just a saying.

If you take an oriental person and spin him around
several times, does he become disoriented? - Same thing happens to a western person.

Why is the man (or woman) who invests all your money
called a broker? - Why is a person that heals you called a doctor? .... That\'s just how they named it.

When cheese gets it\'s picture taken, what does it say? - Cheese doesn\'t talk.

Why is a person who plays the piano called a pianist
but a person drives a race car not called a racist? - Racist was already had another meaning probably.

Why isn\'t 11 pronounced onety one? - The person who named them just named it that way.

If lawyers are disbarred and clergymen defrocked,
doesn\'t it follow that electricians can be delighted,
musicians denoted? - WTF?

If Fed Ex and UPS were to merge, would they call it
Fed UP? - Sure, why not?

Do Lipton Tea employees take coffee breaks? - No, I heard they take lunch breaks.

I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible
a whole lot more as they get older, then it dawned on
me . . .they\'re cramming for their final exam. - I guess so.

I thought about how mothers feed their babies with
tiny little spoons and forks so I wondered, what do
Chinese mothers use? Toothpicks? - WTF?

Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why
don\'t they just put their pictures on the postage
stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they
delivered the mail? - Because alot of people to go the post office to pick up their mail.. Thus, they might get a galance at those pictures.

If it\'s true that we are here to help others, then
what exactly are the others here for? - For them to help us.

Last night I played a blank tape at full blast. The
mime next door went nuts. - WTF?

Why are a wise man and a wise guy opposites? - Because they are two different sayings.

Why do overlook and oversee mean opposite things? - That\'s just how it is.

If a cow laughed, would milk come out her nose? - When pigs fly.

Whatever happened to preparations A through G? - WTF?

If soybean oil comes from soybeans, and olive oil
comes from olives, and peanut oil comes from peanuts,
where does baby oil come from? - Babies? lol

No one ever says "It\'s only a game", when their team
is winning! - I do.

hahaha, dude I was really bored. :D

Offline videoholic

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Things that make ya go Hmmm....
« Reply #2 on: November 09, 2001, 03:12:05 AM »
I don\'t think Serran has ever heard of a pun.
I wear a necklace now because I like to know when I\'m upside down.
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Offline luckee
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« Reply #3 on: November 09, 2001, 04:16:17 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by Videoholic
I don\'t think Serran has ever heard of a pun.


I strongly agree :D
\"Booze, broads, and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?\"-Harry Caray

Don\'t cry over spilled milk., It could have been Whiskey.-Me

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.-George Washington

Offline Toxical
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Things that make ya go Hmmm....
« Reply #4 on: November 09, 2001, 08:32:30 AM »
Why do they put pictures of criminals up in the Post
Office? What are we supposed to do, write to them? Why
don\'t they just put their pictures on the postage
stamps so the mailmen could look for them while they
delivered the mail?


LOL good one.

Offline CygnusXI
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Things that make ya go Hmmm....
« Reply #5 on: November 09, 2001, 08:40:18 AM »
Why does "shipping" go by truck, "Cargo" by boat and "freight" by plane?

Why are they called "buildings" when they\'re already built?

Why is it a TV "set" when you olny get one
:mad:
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Offline luckee
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« Reply #6 on: November 09, 2001, 08:45:30 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by CygnusXI


Why is it a TV "set" when you olny get one
:mad:


ROFL:D
\"Booze, broads, and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?\"-Harry Caray

Don\'t cry over spilled milk., It could have been Whiskey.-Me

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.-George Washington

Offline Ashford
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Things that make ya go Hmmm....
« Reply #7 on: November 09, 2001, 09:34:57 AM »
If "pro" and "con" are opposites, what is the opposite of "Progress"?

Why do "fat chance" and "slim chance" mean the same thing?

Why did kamikaze pilots wear helmets?

Why are there interstate highways in Hawaii?
July 2002: If you had bought $1000.00 worth of Nortel stock one year ago, it would now be worth $49.00. Enron, $16.50 left. Worldcom, $5.00 left. If you had bought $1,000.00 worth of Budweiser beer one year ago, drank it all and turned in the cans for the 10 cent deposit, you would have $214.00. Based on the above, my current investment advice is to drink heavily and recycle.

Offline SER
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« Reply #8 on: November 09, 2001, 04:39:59 PM »
Well, actually.. I have heard of a pun.

It\'s just that I had the answers to those questions. :rolleyes:

Offline Bladez

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Things that make ya go Hmmm....
« Reply #9 on: November 09, 2001, 04:53:20 PM »
How does a CD/DVD player work?

Do you think humans hide behind masks?(emoitions)
Hail to the king--Avenged Sevenfold

Offline Proud To Be
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« Reply #10 on: November 09, 2001, 11:19:37 PM »
If pychiatrists are supposed to talk to and examine crazy people, who examines and talks to the pychiatrist?
...

Offline Jar O Pickles
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« Reply #11 on: November 09, 2001, 11:43:32 PM »
if an undefeated sports team loses a game are they deundefeated?
\"If Christopher Reeve were alive today, I\'m sure he\'d be the first to say, \'Blue M&Ms? Are you fucking kidding me?\'\"
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[PPPS:] I feel fantastic and I\'m still alive.
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Offline SER
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« Reply #12 on: November 10, 2001, 04:52:00 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by jaropkls
if an undefeated sports team loses a game are they deundefeated?


Technically, yes.

:)

Offline luckee
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« Reply #13 on: November 10, 2001, 04:59:19 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by serrano007


Technically, yes.

:)


there u go again....Mr. No concept of sarcasim or a pun ;)
\"Booze, broads, and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?\"-Harry Caray

Don\'t cry over spilled milk., It could have been Whiskey.-Me

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.-George Washington

Offline ooseven
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« Reply #14 on: November 11, 2001, 03:13:16 PM »
Why do women ware stockings ?..... have you seen what it dose to a bank raiders face ?
“If you’re talking about sheep or goats, there could be some issues,” [/color]

 

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