More Funny\'s - How To Be The Funniest Man On Earth!

TOP 10 WAYS TO BE THE FUNNIEST MAN ON EARTH

10. Keep telling the same person they have bad breath even if they don\'t, and then punch them in the face.

9. Announce in a meeting that you have AIDS. After everyone gives the sympathy remarks, tell everyone you were joking and call them a bunch of queers.

8. Before a meeting, fill your mouth with custard. In the meeting pretend you\'re hacking up a greener, spit it into a glass and hand it to the person next to you and say "Beat that ya b*ll*cks".

7. Inform a male colleague that he would make a great rent-boy, then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good shag up the a$$.

6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and one hand down the front of your trousers.

5. Answer every question with "F**ked if I know...", then call the person a "f**king c*nt."

4. Brag about the fact that you have an STD.

3. Run around the office with your pr1ck out spraying pi$$ everywhere yelling "It wont stop! God help me it wont stop!" Then when it does, look down and go "Oh! It stopped."

2. Ask to borrow a colleague\'s expensive pen - take it to the toilet and stick it up your rectum - return it to the person and tell them that it smells bad and tell them to smell it. When they say that it smells, say "It should - I had it up my a$$"

1. $hit on your office floor and when someone comes in and sees it tell them it\'s the fake rubber kind. When they try to pick it up and realise that their hand is full of real $hit - laugh and embarrass them in front of everyone

I apologise for the rude nature of this post.

[Bobs_Hardware]

ok, see now Video.. you need to take down notes from this guy.. now this was hilarious

award for you my man, for making me laugh

Originally posted by The_Rickster
7. Inform a male colleague that he would make a great rent-boy, then piss in his coffee and tell him he needs a good shag up the a$$.

Hehe, my personal favorite!

rofl...i wouldlove to see someone do number 1

[videoholic]

Originally posted by Bobs_Hardware
ok, see now Video.. you need to take down notes from this guy.. now this was hilarious

award for you my man, for making me laugh

Hmmm, I was just about to say how I thought these were stupid and just gross.  There is nothing funny about shoving a pen up your ass and then giving it to someone.  

Have you ever given one of the pens back that you shoved up your ass?

yeah, maybe this is just euro humour
cause i dont think a single one of em is funy

[nO-One]

Originally posted by The_Rickster
2. Ask to borrow a colleague\'s expensive pen - take it to the toilet and stick it up your rectum - return it to the person and tell them that it smells bad and tell them to smell it. When they say that it smells, say "It should - I had it up my a$$"

I actually tried that once.......sadly the pen got lost in the process

Originally posted by mm
yeah, maybe this is just euro humour
cause i dont think a single one of em is funy

You are probably right mm, funny that how we over here find things really funny yet you dont, never mind!!

Im gonna have to try number one. Thats funny.

[Bobs_Hardware]

Originally posted by Videoholic


Hmmm, I was just about to say how I thought these were stupid and just gross.  There is nothing funny about shoving a pen up your ass and then giving it to someone.  

Have you ever given one of the pens back that you shoved up your ass?

they were hilarious.. could you imagine a person going into work and thinking "hmm... ohh.. I know what will make them laugh!  shoving a pen up my ass"

hilarious because its so stupid    i find the subtleties of such blatant humour to be hilarious    if you understand what i mean

merely shoving a pen up your ass isnt funny (unless the pen is like... ENORMOUS or something ) the situation is, the how it was told..

some people just dont get it.. others are luckier  

man bob your a nerd

Originally posted by kopking
rofl...i wouldlove to see someone do number 1

I just did a numer 2.  Got any glade?

6. Always walk around with a big smile on your face and one hand down the front of your trousers.

My favorite.
lol

[CHIZZY]

Ways to Annoy Your Public Bathroom Stall-Mate
> > > >
> > > > Stick your open palm under the stall wall and ask your
> > > > neighbor, "May I borrow a highlighter?"
> > > >
> > > > Say, "Uh oh, I knew I shouldn\'t have put my lips on
> > > > that."
> > > >
> > > > Cheer and clap loudly every time somebody breaks the
> > > > silence with a bodily function noise.
> > > >
> > > > Say, "Damn, this water\'s cold."
> > > >
> > > > Drop a marble and say, "Oh no! My glass eye!"
> > > >
> > > > Say, "Hmmm, I\'ve never seen that color before."
> > > >
> > > > Grunt and strain real loud for 30 seconds and then drop
> > > > a cantaloupe into the toilet bowl from a height of six
> > > > feet. Sigh relaxingly.
> > > >
> > > > Say, "Now how did that get in there?"
> > > >
> > > > Say, "Humus. Reminds me of humus."
> > > >
> > > > Fill up a large flask with Mountain Dew. Squirt it
> > > > erratically under the stall walls of your neighbor\'s
> > > > while yelling, "Whoa! Easy boy!"
> > > >
> > > > Say, "Interesting... more floaters than sinkers."
> > > >
> > > > Using a small squeeze tube, spread peanut butter on a
> > > > wad of toilet paper and drop the wad under the stall of
> > > > your neighbor. Then say, "Whoops, could you kick that
> > > > back over here please?"
> > > >
> > > > Say, "C\'mon Mr. Happy! Don\'t fall asleep on me now."
> > > >
> > > > Fill a balloon with cream corn. Rush into the stall
> > > > with your hand over your mouth and let out a lengthy
> > > > vomit impression while you squeeze the balloon and
> > > > splatter cream corn all about. Apologize profusely and
> > > > blame it on the fettucine alfredo you had for
> > > > breakfast.
> > > >
> > > > Say, "Boy, that sure looks like a maggot."
> > > >
> > > > Say, "Damn, I knew that drain hole was a little too
> > > > small. Now what am I gonna do?"
> > > >
> > > > Play a well known drum cadence over and over again on
> > > > your butt cheeks.
> > > >
> > > > Before you un-roll toilet paper, conspicuously lay down
> > > > your "Cross-Dressers Anonymous" newsletter on the floor
> > > > visible to the adjacent stall.
> > > >
> > > > Lower a small mirror underneath the stall wall, adjust
> > > > it so you can see your neighbor and say, "Peek-a-boo!"
> > > >
> > > > Drop a D-cup bra on the floor under the stall wall and
> > > > sing "Born Free."

lol those bathroom ones were funny as hell.