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Author Topic: Yes...more useless info.  (Read 721 times)

Offline luckee
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Yes...more useless info.
« on: March 10, 2002, 06:33:05 PM »
In case you needed further proof that the human race
> is doomed through stupidity, here are some actual label instructions
> on consumer goods.
>
>On a Sear\'s hairdryer:
> Do not use while sleeping.
> (darn, and that\'s the only time I have to work on my hair).
>
>On a bag of Fritos:
> You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
> Details inside.
> (the shoplifter special)?
>
>On a bar of Dial soap:
> "Directions: Use like regular soap."
> (and that would be how???.)
>
>On some Swanson frozen dinners:
> "Serving suggestion: Defrost."
> (but, it\'s "just" a suggestion).
>
>On Tesco\'s Tiramisu dessert (printed on bottom):
> "Do not turn upside down."
> (well.duh, a bit late, huh!)
>
>On Marks & Spencer Bread Pudding:
> "Product will be hot after heating."
> (.and you thought????.)
>
>On packaging for a Rowenta iron:
> "Do not iron clothes on body."
> (but wouldn\'t this save me more time?)
>
>On Boot\'s Children Cough Medicine:
> "Do not drive a car or operate machinery after taking this medication."
> (We could do a lot to reduce the rate of construction accidents if we
> could just get those 5-year-olds with head-colds off those forklifts.)
>
>On Nytol Sleep Aid:
> "Warning: May cause drowsiness."
> (and. I\'m taking this because???.)
>
>On most brands of Christmas lights:
> "For indoor or outdoor use only."
> (as opposed to. what?)
>
>On a Japanese food processor:
> "Not to be used for the other use."
> (now, somebody out there, help me on this. I\'m a bit curious.)
>
>On Sainsbury\'s peanuts:
> "Warning: contains nuts."
> (talk about a news flash)
>
>On an American Airlines packet of nuts:
> "Instructions: Open packet, eat nuts."
> (Step 3: maybe, uh. fly Delta?)
>
>On a child\'s superman costume:
> "Wearing of this garment does not enable you to fly."
> (I don\'t blame the company. I blame the parents for this one.)
>
>On a Swedish chainsaw:
> "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
> (Oh my God. was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)
\"Booze, broads, and bullshit. If you got all that, what else do you need?\"-Harry Caray

Don\'t cry over spilled milk., It could have been Whiskey.-Me

A free people ought not only to be armed and disciplined, but they should have sufficient arms and ammunition to maintain a status of independence from any who might attempt to abuse them, which would include their own government.-George Washington

Offline Fayded
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Yes...more useless info.
« Reply #1 on: March 10, 2002, 06:39:18 PM »
The chainsaw one made me laugh most.
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Offline Luke
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Yes...more useless info.
« Reply #2 on: March 10, 2002, 07:59:27 PM »
see bob now those are funny!
Helloski.

Offline jinxx
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Re: Yes...more useless info.
« Reply #3 on: March 10, 2002, 08:09:46 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by luckee
>On a Swedish chainsaw:
> "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
> (Oh my God. was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)


Well i have heard people claim they have balls of steel, but to actually try to prove it.......:laughing:
I never wanted to change the world, i only wanted the simple things, if this is my stage i hope you can hear me screaming, i dont want this shit anymore......

Offline theomen
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Yes...more useless info.
« Reply #4 on: March 11, 2002, 12:22:36 AM »
so there was a warning on that chainsaw, well there went my lawsuit!

Offline PSX_J
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Yes...more useless info.
« Reply #5 on: March 11, 2002, 01:51:22 AM »
Holy sh*t, this stuff\'s hilarious. :laughing: Where did u find this?
It\'s only funny until someone gets hurt...then it\'s hillarious.

Offline SonyFan
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Yes...more useless info.
« Reply #6 on: March 11, 2002, 02:36:01 AM »
"On a Swedish chainsaw:
> "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands or genitals."
> (Oh my God. was there a lot of this happening somewhere?)" - Luckee

Ya know what\'s sad? Someone actually must have ATTEMPTED this for them to have put a warning label on it. Anyone wanna take a guess at what that poor sap\'s BAC was when his buddies bet he wouldn\'t do it for 5 bucks?









Hmm.... the label never said anything about not attempting to stop the blade with my buttox though!
Please Bleed.. so I know that you are real.
Please Bleed.. so I know that you can feel the damage that you\'ve done.
What have I become? To myself I am numb. ~ Ben Harper
Plane Crash <-- moe. (Listen to while staring at Heat\'s Avvy.)
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Offline Samwise
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Yes...more useless info.
« Reply #7 on: March 11, 2002, 02:39:14 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by PSX_J
Holy sh*t, this stuff\'s hilarious. :laughing: Where did u find this?
Looking at all those >\'s indicates an email.
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRAPETIME!
(thanks Chizzy!)

Offline kopking
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Yes...more useless info.
« Reply #8 on: March 11, 2002, 10:39:02 AM »
lol, i love useless facts!!!
The drunken, Liverpool supporting, bad spelling, Simpson loving, known as the drunkest of the spaminators, from England
without
alcohol, life would suck! pray for Mojo
beer,solving all your problems & helping ugly people have $ex since 1862.

 

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