Please don\'t flame me if you\'ve seen this before, I have short-term memory problems... (I wonder why... :thepimp: )Next time you have a bad day at work...think of this guy. Rob is a
commercial saturation diver for Global Divers in Louisiana. He performs
underwater repairs on offshore drilling rigs. Below is an E-mail he sent to
his sister. She then sent it to The X, 103.2 on your FM dial in Ft Wayne IN,
who was sponsoring a "worst job experience" contest. Needless to say, she
won.
Hi Sue,
Just another note from your bottom-dwelling brother. Last
week I had a bad day at the office. I know you\'ve been
feeling down lately at work, so I thought I would share my
dilemma with you to make you realize it\'s not so bad after
all.
Before I can tell you what happened to me, I first must bore
you with a few technicalities of my job. As you know, my
office lies at the bottom of the sea. I wear a suit to the
office. It\'s a wetsuit. This time of year the water is quite
cool. So what we do to keep warm is this: we have a diesel
powered industrial water heater. This $20,000 piece of
equipment sucks the water out of the sea. It heats it to a
delightful temperature. It then pumps it down to the diver
through a garden hose, which is taped to the air hose.
Now this sounds like a darn good plan, and I\'ve used it
several times with no complaints. What I do, when I get to
the bottom and start working, is take the hose and stuff it
down the back of my wetsuit. This floods my whole suit with
warm water. It\'s like working in a Jacuzzi.
Everything was going well until all of a sudden, my butt
started to itch. So, of course, I scratched it. This only
made things worse. Within a few seconds my butt started to
burn. I pulled the hose out from my back, but the damage was
done. In agony I realized what had happened.
The hot water machine had sucked up a jellyfish and pumped
it into my suit. Now since I don\'t have any hair on my back,
the jellyfish couldn\'t stick to it. However, the crack of my
butt was not as fortunate. When I scratched what I thought
was an itch, I was actually grinding the jellyfish into my
butt. I informed the dive supervisor of my dilemma over the
communicator.
His instructions were unclear due to the fact that he, along
with 5 other divers, were all laughing hysterically.
Needless to say I aborted the dive. I was instructed to make
3 agonizing in-water decompression stops totaling 35 minutes
before I could reach the surface to begin my chamber dry
decompression.
When I arrived at the surface, I was wearing nothing but my
brass helmet.
As I climbed out of the water, the medic, with tears of
laughter running down his face, handed me a tube of cream
and told me to rub it on my butt as soon as I got in the
chamber.
The cream put the fire out, but I couldn\'t poop for 2 days
because my butthole was swollen shut.
So, next time you\'re having a bad day at work, think about
how much worse it would be if you had a jellyfish shoved up
your butt.
Now repeat to yourself, "I love my job, I love my job, I
love my job..."
