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Author Topic: Real Records NOT found in Guinness  (Read 1146 times)

Offline Tom
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« on: April 28, 2002, 12:18:01 AM »
World records that you wont find in the Guinness Book of Records...

MOST SEMEN SWALLOWED
Michelle Monahan had 1.7 pints of semen pumped out of her stomach in Los Angeles in July 1991.

 

LONGEST PUBES
Maoni Vi of Cape Town has hair measuring 32 inches from the armpits and 28 inches from her vagina.

 

MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.

 

ZITS
In July 1987, Carl Chadwick of Rugby, England, squeezed a zit and projected a detectable amount of yellow pus a distance of 7ft 1inch.

 

WORST DRINK
The most horrible drink to be considered a beverage and safely drunk is Khoona. It is drunk by Afghani tribesmen on their wedding night and consists of a small amount of still-warm very recently attained bull
semen. It is believed to be a potent aphrodisiac.

 

MOST OFFENSIVE COCKTAIL
This is available from a few select bars in New York. It contains tomato juice, a double shot of vodka, a spoonful of French mustard and a dash of lime. It is not mixed, but served with a tampon (unused) instead of a cocktail umbrella and is known as a \'C*nt Pump\'.

 

GREATEST DISTANCE ATTAINED FOR A JET OF SEMEN
Horst Schultz achieved 18 ft 9 in with a \'substantial\' amount of seminal fluid. Healso hold the records for the greatest height (12 ft 4in) and the greatest speed of ejaculation, or muzzle velocity, with 42.7mph.

 

LONGEST TURD
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a \'staggering turd\' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms
in his state.

 

MOST PROLONGED FART
Bernard Clemmens of London managed to sustain a fart for an officially recorded time of 2 mins 42 seconds.
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Offline Seed_Of_Evil
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #1 on: April 28, 2002, 12:26:13 AM »
:laughing:

Nice records, I know now why they aren\'t in the official world record guinness :D
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Offline luckee
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #2 on: April 28, 2002, 12:32:38 AM »
heehheh..I\'ve seen that before somewhere or another..made me laff then..made me laff now.
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Offline kopking
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #3 on: April 28, 2002, 08:34:17 AM »
let me guess you got a email with this in it??!!!!!! saw this ages ago
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Offline Halberto
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #4 on: April 28, 2002, 08:38:50 AM »
Geez, whoever wrote that sure likes cum. :surprised
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Offline Bobs_Hardware

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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #5 on: April 28, 2002, 08:39:04 AM »
Greatest.  Thread.  Evar!!11!1~~!``
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Offline KillaX
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #6 on: April 28, 2002, 10:23:32 AM »
I believe the longest fart got beat by some guy who went on howard stern.



:hat:ScottyJ:hat:
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Offline SonyFan
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #7 on: April 28, 2002, 03:32:45 PM »
Quote
LONGEST TURD:
The longest dump ever verified was produced by an American, who produced a \'staggering turd\' over a period of 2 hr 12 mins which was officially measured at 12 ft 2in. The offender is banned from 134 washrooms in his state.


God bless America!!!! *Salutes*

Quote
MOST CAVERNOUS CROTCH
Linda Manning of Los Angeles could, without preparation, completely insert a lubricated American football into her vagina.


Bah, that\'s not too impressive. I have a video on my PC of a chick who\'s got a 3 foot long 3 inch diameter rubber dildo crammed all up inside her. Oh, and another one of a baldheaded dude shoving his whole head up in one chick.. I mean, right down to the middle of his neck...but I think that one\'s been photoshopped.

I love CJ\'s!!!
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Offline Bozco
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #8 on: April 28, 2002, 03:38:49 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Bobs_Hardware
Greatest.  Thread.  Evar!!11!1~~!``


As Emperor Rob would say-

WORD
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Offline Tom
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #9 on: April 28, 2002, 04:43:55 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by SonyFan


Bah, that\'s not too impressive. I have a video on my PC of a chick who\'s got a 3 foot long 3 inch diameter rubber dildo crammed all up inside her. Oh, and another one of a baldheaded dude shoving his whole head up in one chick.. I mean, right down to the middle of his neck...but I think that one\'s been photoshopped.

I love CJ\'s!!!


Now that\'s what I call giving head!!!:D
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Offline nO-One

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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #10 on: April 28, 2002, 05:10:32 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by SonyFan


Bah, that\'s not too impressive. I have a video on my PC of a chick who\'s got a 3 foot long 3 inch diameter rubber dildo crammed all up inside her. Oh, and another one of a baldheaded dude shoving his whole head up in one chick.. I mean, right down to the middle of his neck...but I think that one\'s been photoshopped.

I love CJ\'s!!!


Yeah, I have both of them aswell, along with one (which is over 10 minuts long I might add) where a woman with almost a 1 meter long dildo (it has the thickness to go with it) insterts it into some guys a-hole. She emptied about two cans of lubricant to be able to get that thing in. It was huge I tell ya.
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Offline SwifDi
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #11 on: April 28, 2002, 05:40:39 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by KillaX
I believe the longest fart got beat by some guy who went on howard stern.



:hat:ScottyJ:hat:


No, that guy just broke the record of most consecutive farts in 5 minutes... He did 542 I believe.
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Offline KillaX
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #12 on: April 28, 2002, 05:42:14 PM »
thats right......that is one hell of a record tho.......


:hat:ScottyJ:hat:
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Offline -____-
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #13 on: April 28, 2002, 05:49:33 PM »
Quote
Originally posted by Vapor Snake


No, that guy just broke the record of most consecutive farts in 5 minutes... He did 542 I believe.


howwww?????????!!!!!!
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Offline Ashford
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Real Records NOT found in Guinness
« Reply #14 on: April 29, 2002, 09:15:11 AM »
Quote
Originally posted by -____-


howwww?????????!!!!!!


By sucking air through his cheeks and expelling it back out.
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