"A duck\'s quack doesn\'t echo, and no one knows why." - That\'s about as good an excuse as any to give the US gov\'t 200billion dollars. I don\'t think the cow fart study is panning out like we had planned.
"On average, 100 people choke to death on ballpoint pens every year." - If God hadn\'t of intended us to eat Ball Point pens, then he wouldn\'t have made them so damned tasty.
"Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants." - And 40% of which are wearing strap on "bombs" filled unknowingly with shaving cream and blue ink which splatters the guy in bright blue when he attempts to detonate it. It\'s all being caught on hidden camera for Al-Jazerra\'s new hit comedy "Osama\'s Funniest Home Videos".
"It\'s possible to lead a cow upstairs... but not downstairs." - Exceprt taken from Tom Arnolds recently released biography, "Don\'t eat me".
"Women blink nearly twice as much as men." - Yeah, I\'ve heard you tend to blink more when you lie.
"It\'s physically impossible for you to lick your elbow." - I\'m sure if god had put our penis\'s on our elbows, someone would find a way.
"The Main Library at Indiana University sinks over an inch every year because when it built, engineers failed to take into account the weight of all the books that would occupy the building." - Indiana University was jus recently named the #1 party collage in America, as reported by MSNBC. Coincidence? I think not...
"A snail can sleep for three years." - Big deal, so can I.
"Our eyes are always the same size from birth, but our nose and ears never stop growing. - SCARY!!!" - It\'s actually a scientific fact that the hair men loose from their melons is directly proportionate to the hair we gain on our backs, feet, knuckles, nose, and ears.
"All polar bears are left handed." - 4% of our paychecks last year went to find that out. God bless those wacky scientists.
"TYPEWRITER is the longest word that can be made using the letters only on one row of the keyboard." - Good god.. we\'ll never hear the end of it if the conspiracy theorists ever find this out.
"If Barbie were life-size, her measurements would be 39-23-33.
She would stand seven feet, two inches tall." - Thas a HUGE bytch!
"A crocodile cannot stick its tongue out." - Which probably explains the rapid decline in crocodile lesbianism.
"The cigarette lighter was invented before the match." - Gotta love how technology advances. Did you also know we invented the 357 Winsor engine before the wheel? Amazing.
"Americans on average eat 18 acres of pizza every day." - and they spend 1/3rd of their lives on the toilet crapping it all back out. Sounds like a lot, but really it\'s not much when you consider that number raises to 4/5ths once you cross the US border into Mexico... or live within a 1 square mile radius of a Taco Bell.
