Wow I have a lot of experience in these matters. Though I am a Principle Transportation Planner now, when I first got out of college I wrote automotive insurance policies.
First off glad your mother is OK.
Now on to the topic at hand:
Your cars damage has to exceed apprx 60 percent of its value for an insurance company to total it. Your lapse in coverage does not affect you since it was his fault - though you could get a ticket for having a lapse in most states.
The most important issue regarding a claim is the company you are dealing with. The major insurance carriers are usually pretty good ie. State Farm, USAA, Prudential, Hartford etc. Watch out though if the company headquarters is in a strip mall - they will fight you every step of the way.
IF they repair your car you are entitled to diminished value. This means that you are entitled to the difference between what the car was worth right before the accident and what it is worth after it is repaired. The best way to do this is go to a Honda dealer and ask him what the car is worth and give him a copy of your repair list. I was hit by some 16yr old girl last October and I was driving a 2001 Jetta GLX and received $1500 in diminished value alone. Do not sign off on the claim until you get this!!!!!!
Also don\'t sign off on the claim when your car comes out of the shop. Drive it for a little while to make sure there are no leaks, electrical probs etc. Insist on certified Honda parts. Don\'t let them refurbish anything.
Bug the crap out of your claims representative. If they are not wanting to pay for something keep on them, they will eventually give in. My car was damaged *also* by the towing company when they put it on a flatbed. Scratched the hell out of 1 of my 18 inch rims on the opposite side of where I was hit. The towing company denied responsiblility so I threatened the claims rep with legal action. A day later they paid for my rim.
Pain and suffering is only viable if you have an injury that is noticable. A broken bone, stitches, dismembered body part, whatever... if you have some mild whiplash you won\'t get much if anything at all. Twenty years ago you could have gotten $15K for minor whiplash, today you hardly get a thing.
Anyway this is getting long, if you want any advice just PM me.