Oldy but goodie.

[GmanJoe]

Learn Chinese in 5 minutes...(You MUST read them out loud)

1 ) That\'s not right ............................... Sum Ting Wong
2) Are you harboring a fugitive?..........Hu Yu Hai Ding
3) See me ASAP................................ Kum Hia Nao
4) Stupid Man .................................... Dum Fuk
5) Small Horse .................................. Tai Ni Po Ni
6) Did you go to the beach? ..............Wai Yu So Tan
7) I bumped into a coffee table ........Ai Bang Mai Fa Kin Ni
8) I think you need a face lift .............Chin Tu Fat
9) It\'s very dark in here ......................Wao So Dim
10) I thought you were on a diet .......Wai Yu Mun Ching?
11) This is a tow away zone ...............No Pah King
12) Our meeting is scheduled for next week ... Wai Yu Kum Nao?
13) Staying out of sight .......................Lei Ying Lo
14) He\'s cleaning his automobile .......Wa Shing Ka
15) Your body odor is offensive .........Yu Stin Ki Pu
16) Great .............................................Fa Kin Su Pah

ohhh I know I know~~!!



but no matter how I look at it its still english~~





wait...did I do that somewhere else already?

[GmanJoe]

hush boy.

lol...thats a classic, how bout some mistranslations, mostly japanese (not surprised)

This is my favourite:
In a Japanese hotel:
"You are invited to take advantage of the chambermaid."

------
In a Tokyo Hotel:
"Is forbidden to steal hotel towels please. If you are not a
person to do such thing is please not to read notis."

In a Bucharest hotel lobby:
"The lift is being fixed for the next day. During that time we
regret that you will be unbearable."

In a Leipzig elevator:
"Do not enter the lift backwards, and only when lit up."

In a Belgrade hotel elevator:
"To more the cabin, push button for wishing floor. If the cabin
should enter more persons, each one should press a number of
wishing floor. Driving is then going alphabetically by national
order."

In a Paris hotel elevator:
"Please leave your values at the front desk."

In a hotel in Athens:
"Visitors are expected to complain at the office between the
hours of 9 and 11 A.M. daily."

In a Yugoslavian hotel:
"The flattening of underwear with pleasure is the fob of the
chambermaid."

In the lobby of a Moscow hotel across from a Russian Orthodox
monastery:
"You are welcome to visit the cemetery where famous Russian and
Soviet composers, artists, and writers are buried daily except
Thursday."

In an Austrian hotel catering to skiers:
"Not to perambulate the corridors in the hours of repose in the
boots of ascension."

On the menu of a Swiss restaurant:
"Our wines leave you nothing to hope for."

On the menu of a Polish hotel:
"Salad a firm\'s own make; limpid red beet soup with cheesy
dumplings in the form of a finger; roasted duck let loose; beef
rashers beaten up in the country people\'s fashion."

Outside a Hong Kong tailor shop:
"Ladies may have a fit upstairs."

In a Bangkok dry cleaner\'s:
"Drop your trousers here for best results."

Outside a Paris dress shop:
"Dresses for street walking."

In a Rhodes tailor shop:
"Order your summers suit. Because is big rush we will execute
customers in strict rotation."

Similarly, from the Soviet Weekly:
"There will be a Moscow Exhibition of Arts by 15,000 Soviet
Republic painters and sculptors. These were executed over the
past two years."

A sign posted in Germany\'s Black forest:
"It is strictly forbidden on our black forest camping site that
people of different sex, for instance, men and women, live
together in one tent unless they are married with each other for
that purpose."

In a Zurich hotel:
"Because of the impropriety of entertaining guests of the
opposite sex in the bedroom, it is suggested that the lobby be
used for this purpose."

In and advertisement by a Hong Kong dentist:
"Teeth extracted by the latest Methodists."

In a Rome laundry:
"Ladies, leave your clothes here and spend the afternoon having
a good time."

In a Czechoslovakian tourist agency:
"Take one of our horse-driven city tours - we guarantee no
miscarriages."

Advertisement for donkey rides in Thailand:
"Would you like to ride on your own ass?"

In a Bangkok temple:
"It is forbidden to enter a woman even a foreigner if dressed as
a man."

In a Tokyo bar:
"Special cocktails for the ladies with nuts."

In a Copenhagen airline ticket office:
"We take your bags and send them in all directions."

In a Norwegian cocktail lounge:
"ladies are requested not to have children in the bar."

In a Budapest zoo:
"Please do not feed the animals. If you have any suitable food,
give it to the guard on duty."

In the office of a Roman doctor:
"Specialist in women and other diseases."

In an Acapulco hotel:
"The manager has personally passed all the water served here."

In a Tokyo shop:
"Our nylons cost more than common, but you\'ll find they are best
in the long run."

From a Japanese information booklet about using a hotel air
conditioner:
"Cooles and Heates: If you want just condition of warm in your
room, please control yourself."

From a brochure of a car rental firm in Tokyo:
"When passenger of foot heave in sight, tootle the horn. Trumpet
him melodiously at first, but if he still obstacles your passage
then tootle him with vigor."

Two signs from a Majorcan shop entrance:
"- English well talking."
"- Here speeching American."

LOL funny sh!T

[Titan]

^ Ditto to that. I\'m printing this shit out Today is a good day.

hehe, funny =]

[Kurt Angle]

These are super!

u want more?

[Titan]

Hell yeah

We arent getting any more though

[Kurt Angle]

Maybe someone should start a "written humour thread" to put these in. Then we have one for text/jokes and one for pictures.

Bwuahahaha, just saying it outloud makes me laugh.

herez more!!

One day Mrs. Jones went to have a talk with the minister at the
local church. "Reverend," she said, "I have a problem, my
husband keeps falling asleep during your sermons. It\'s very
embarrassing. What should I do?"

"I have an idea," said the minister. "Take this hatpin with you.
I will be able to tell when Mr. Jones is sleeping, and I will
motion to you at specific times. When I motion, you give him a
good poke in the leg."

In church the following Sunday, Mr. Jones dozed off. Noticing
this, the preacher put his plan to work. "And who made the
ultimate sacrifice for you?" he said, nodding to Mrs. Jones.

"Jesus!", Jones cried as his wife jabbed him the leg with the
hatpin.

"Yes, you are right, Mr. Jones," said the minister. Soon, Mr.
Jones nodded off again. Again, the minister noticed. "Who is
your redeemer?" he asked the congregation, motioning towards
Mrs. Jones.

"God!" Mr. Jones cried out as he was stuck again with the hatpin.

"Right again," said the minister, smiling. Before long, Mr.
Jones again winked off. However, this time the minister did not
notice. As he picked up the tempo of his sermon, he made a few
motions that Mrs. Jones mistook as signals to bayonet her
husband with the hatpin again.

The minister asked, "And what did Eve say to Adam after she bore
him his 99th son?"

Mrs. Jones poked her husband, who yelled, "You stick that
goddamned thing in me one more time and I\'ll break it in half
and shove it up your ass!"

"Amen," replied the congregation.

LOL:laughing:There is no mistake in this one.