Germany is once again trying to take over Poland, and the Polacks are having a big problem with this. The Germans decided to work out a deal with the Polacks. The smartest guy from Germany and the smartest guy from Poland will meet in the main square of Warsaw. There will be an impartial judge who will ask both of them questions and whoever gets more right wins. The Polacks agree to this, and when the big day arrives everybody in Poland gathers to watch this event. The judge asks the first question. "Poland, you go first. What is 2 + 2?" The guy from Poland looks at the judge and says, "4". The Polish crowd becomes outraged and starts yelling "GIVE HIM ANOTHER CHANCE!"
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why does auburn university have natural grass on their field?
so their cheerleaders can graze at halftime.
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why dont vanderbilt football players get mad when tenessee beats them year after year?
because they know that someday the UT players will be working for them.
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how does a blonde turn on the light after sex?
opens the car door.
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What\'s the best thing about AIDS?
It turns fruits into vegetables
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guy says "I wish that me and all my Mexican brothers were back in Mexico happy and free to live how we live".
The genie claps his hands, it is done.
The African American guy says "I wish that me and all my African American brothers would return to our motherland and be happy and free".
The genie claps his hands, it is done.
He turns to the white guy who is sitting there looking confused and says "what about your wish".
The white guy says "so, you mean to tell me all the niggers and spics are out of America?"
"Yes"
"Then, ummm, I guess I\'ll have a coke then".
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A rich white man in Georgia decided that he wanted to throw a party and invited all of his buddies and neighbors. He also invited Leroy, the only black guy in the neighborhood. He held the party around the pool in the backyard of his mansion.
Everyone was having a good time drinking, dancing, eating shrimp, oysters and BBQ.
At the height of the party, the host said, "I have a 10 foot
man-eating gator in my pool and I\'ll give a million dollars to anyone who has the balls to jump in."
The words were barely out of his mouth when there was a loud splash and everyone turned around and saw Leroy in the pool!
Leroy was fighting the gator and kicking its ass! Leroy was jabbing the gator in the eyes with his thumbs, throwing punches, doing all kinds of shit like head butts and choke holds, biting the gator on the tail and flipping the gator through the air like some kind of Judo Instructor.
The water was churning and splashing everywhere. Both Leroy and the gator were screaming and raising hell. Finally Leroy strangled the gator and let it float to the top like a K-mart goldfish.
Leroy then slowly climbed out of the pool.
Everybody was just staring at him in disbelief. Finally the host says,
"Well, Leroy, I reckon I owe you a million dollars."
"No, that\'s okay. I don\'t want it.", said Leroy.
The rich man said, "Man, I have to give you something. You won the bet. How about half a million bucks then?"
"No thanks. I don\'t want it.", answered Leroy.
The host said, "Come on, I insist on giving you something. That was amazing. How about a new Porsche and a Rolex and some stock options?"
Again Leroy said "no!"
Confused, the rich man asked, "Well, Leroy, then what do you want?"
Leroy said, "I want the name of the mutha****a who pushed me in the pool!"
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how was copper wire invented?
-two jews fighting over a penny
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why do chicks have tits?
-to keep the water from splashing in their face when they wash the dishes
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What do you call two chinese, a mexican, and four black people standing in a row?
A Sprinkler . Chink chink... spic... nigga nigga nigga nigga
(you have to know how a sprinkler sounds to understand this)
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theres a mexican guy and a black guy in a car, whos driving?
the cop!
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what do you call four white guys in a white mercedes? white power
what do you call four black guys in a black mercedes? black power
what do you call four mexican guys in a brown mercedes? grand theft auto
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what do you call a blonde with two brain cells?
pregnant
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A pregnant Redneck woman is involved in a car accident and falls into a deep coma. Asleep for nearly 6 months, when she wakes up she sees that she is no longer pregnant and frantically asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma\'am you had twins! a boy and a girl. Your Uncle from West Virginia came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh No, not my Uncle... he\'s an idiot!"
She asks the doctor,"Well, what\'s the girl\'s name?"
"Denise."
"Wow, that\'s not a bad name, I like it! What\'s the boy\'s name?"
"Denephew."
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why do spics drive low riders?
so they can cruise and pick lettuce at the same time
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how do you know adam and eve weren\'t black?
ever try and steal a rib from a black man?
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How do you fit 100 Cubans in a shoe box?
Tell them its a raft.
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