>Here are some conversations, from Microsoft\'s Help Desk, which
>had actually taken place between customer support people and
>their customers:
>
>Customer: "You\'ve got to fix my computer. I urgently need to
>print a document, but the computer won\'t boot properly."
>Tech Support: "What does it say?"
>Customer: "Something about an error and non-system disk."
>Tech Support: "Look at your machine. Is there a floppy inside?"
>Customer: "No, but there\'s a sticker saying there\'s an Intel
>inside."
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Tech Support: "Just call us back if there\'s a problem. We\'re open
>24 hours."
>Customer: "Is that Eastern time?"
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Tech Support: "Ok, now click your left mouse button."
>Customer: (silence) "But I only have one mouse."
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Tech Support: "I need you to right-click on the Open Desktop."
>Customer: "Ok."
>Tech Support: "Did you get a pop-up menu?"
>Customer: "No."
>Tech Support: "Ok. Right click again. Do you see a pop-up menu?"
>Customer: "No."
>Tech Support: "Ok, sir. Can you tell me what you have done up
>until this point?"
>Customer: "Sure, you told me to write \'click\' and I
>wrote\'click\'."
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Customer: "I received the software update you sent, but I am
>still getting the same error message."
>Tech Support: "Did you install the update?"
>Customer: "No. Oh, am I supposed to install it to get it to work?
>"
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Customer: "I\'m having trouble installing Microsoft Word."
>Tech Support: "Tell me what you\'ve done."
>Customer: "I typed \'A:SETUP\'."
>Tech Support: "Ma\'am, remove the disk and tell me what it says."
>Customer: "It says \'[PC manufacturer] Restore and Recovery
>disk\'."
>Tech Support: "Insert the MS Word setup disk."
>Customer: "What?"
>Tech Support: "Did you buy MS word?"
>Customer "No..."
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Customer: "Do I need a computer to use your software?"
>Tech Support: ?@#$
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Tech Support: "Ok, in the bottom left hand side of the screen,
>can you see the \'OK\' button displayed?"
>Customer: "Wow. How can you see my screen from there?"
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Tech Support: "What type of computer do you have?"
>Customer: "A white one."
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Tech Support: "Type \'A:\' at the prompt."
>Customer: "How do you spell that?"
>
>---------------------------------
>Tech Support: "Is your computer on a separate telephone line?"
>Customer: "No." (clicks the button to log on to our service)
>Tech Support: "Well then we can\'t-"
>Customer: "It says \'no dial tone\'."
>Tech Support: "That\'s because you\'re on the line with me right
>now. You need to-"
>Customer: "No, that\'s not it. It does this all the time. I just
>have to try a few times, and it will let me through."
>Tech Support: "No, ma\'am. It\'s not even trying to dial right now
>because you\'re on the phone with me."
>Customer: "It must be busy. I\'ll try again later."
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Tech Support: "What\'s on your screen right now?"
>Customer: "A stuffed animal that my boyfriend got me at the
>grocery store."
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Tech Support: "What operating system are you running?"
>Customer: "Pentium."
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Customer: "My computer\'s telling me I performed an illegal
>abortion."
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Customer: "I have Microsoft Exploder."
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Customer: "How do I print my voicemail?"
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Tech Support: "What does the screen say now?"
>Customer: "It says, \'Hit ENTER when ready\'."
>Tech Support: "Well?"
>Customer: "How do I know when it\'s ready?"
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Customer: "I have a long distance modem."
>
>---------------------------------
>
>Customer: "I don\'t have a space bar."
