Oh. My. Goodness. Someone already made a thread of this one, but hid it so I\'d write all this nonsense for nothing. I\'m gonna post it anyhows, I\'ve had a boring afternoon and below you can see the result of me getting bored.
Damn you Chrono. And me for not spending enough of my time on the \'net.
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"You\'ve never played a fighting game like this before. Martial arts moves are nice, but it\'s so much better if you can bend your opponent over and spank her. Or tickle her silly, or steal her bikini top and leave her powerless to fight!" So a big hello to you one-handed surfers browsing these boards, you\'re gonna love this one. Unless you\'re female. But of course you could be a female that
really likes girls in bikinis. But considering the amount of females registered here, and their preferences in mates, that\'s highly unlikely. Be whoever ye be, what lies ahead might frighten you, disgust you, excite you, or make you dig out your handy little can of lube you hide in your jacket pocket.
My long-time favourite site (SomethingAwful.com) has always kept me pretty aware of some of the worst multimedia around, but this little gem they\'ve yet to cover. I decided to do a little searching of my own for bad games and in no time at all, I found something very disturbing. Enter
Bikini Karate Babes.
Bikini Karate Babes, as described by the words of it\'s creator, Travis Riggs, is
"A parody of sorts of the common trend of diminishing clothing on female videogame characters in fighting games". The first thing I saw of the game, was the trailer, which I let download while I was in the sauna. I was shocked, to say the least. "This has got to be a joke...", I said to myself. But, alas, it seems pretty real after all. It would work as a parody, if that little 2 minute 52 second video clip was the only thing carrying the BRB title, but the "game" part of this all makes it sort of sad.
After the trailer, I wanted to learn more... In no time at all, I had found a
developer interview at GamersHell, and loaded up the game\'s homepages. The interview didn\'t hold my attention for long, but I managed to find some interesting snippets on the characters; to quote :
TIENWU: A hard-core fighting machine! If Bruce Lee had been an attractive woman... with mad skills... and, er big boobs... this is what it would have been like!
ISIS: In the rare cases where she is losing the battle, she is able to rejuvenate herself by pumping her breasts.
VENUS: She can shoot a heavy stream of fire from her boobs by gyrating her hips and taking aim of her boobs with her hands.
How\'s that for hot steaming flaming breast action! If this game was japanese, the title would probably read "Lovely Bleast Fight Simulator". This interview actually made a bit up for the fact that SA hadn\'t been updated yet.
And the game\'s WackyWhackWebsite, then. Surprisingly good, really, nothing fundamentally wrong there. Except for semi-amateur looks and the "BKB-amateurs" gallery section. Yes, this section is dedicated to beautiful women from around the world (block?) who love to give their lovely bodies and faces to be used to endorse this beautiful game. One of them lovely ladies probably being some family-friend\'s daughter wearing a promotional T-shirt, and the other pictures snipped from various adult live-show commercials and sites. Do not worry, all the pictures that would otherwise be obscene, have been rendered totally harmless by a well-placed "BikiniKarateBabes.com" text layer with a standard PhotoShop drop shadow, or some other ingenious way of stopping the amount of young boys corrupted by the evils of the \'net from increasing. The art scetches are pretty OK, actually, especially the comic book demo (synopsis of single-page story:
"OMG! U got b1gr b00bz than I!" "Haha!" "I k1ll U!" "Haha! Got ur bra!"). Oddly, some of the screenshots seemed really badly photoshopped.
It\'s too bad I wouldn\'t touch this game with a 10-foot pole attached to another 10-foot pole with a condom on the head of the further pole to protect it from dematerializing of shame, as some experience with the game might make this a more educational post. If anyone is interested and brave enough to download the playable demo, it\'d be nice to share your enlightening experiences with the game. I\'m sure some of you would fancy trying to make a hot babe bend over and shoot confetti out of her butt.
Anyway, if you\'d like to see bikini-clad women with large naughty pillows doing backflips and kicking each other\'s butts in fight sequences that have been choreographed by the head designer\'s 7-year old son (just a guess, but I can\'t go much wrong here), and a pretty standard looking game in the same clip, then do yourself a big favour and download the
Trailer, and for more gelatinous fun, head over to the
game\'s homepages for behind-the-scenes looksies and game/live-action action footage (which are probably the most entertaining things related to this product). It turns out in some interviews that many of the girls have no previous martial arts experience. Good thing it doesn\'t show. Or just head over to ZeroGravity\'s videos to see some REAL martial arts action! That\'s what you wanted to see? Right? Anyone? Damn boobies...
It all seems horribly... japanese? Doesn\'t it? At least it\'s nowhere near the hideousness that is Battle Raper : HYPER REALACTION (a 3D hentai-fighting game). There were a total of 65 people involved in making Bikini Karate Babes happen, in a timespan of two years, which seems horribly much for such a rotten idea. In Japan, that\'d be totally normal (what with all them perverted things that have happened there for decades), but coming from the innocent-sounding state of Virginia, USA, it seems odd. Surely, this sort of thing has happened before (weird, pervy games by westerners, mainly one-man, one-hand projects), but the scale of this project took me by surprise. There\'ll be at least 3 localized PC versions available, for the USA, Russia and Japan, and they also have plans for the XBOX, so it\'ll be BIG. When they find a publisher that is. As of now, the game is only available through their web site.
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Tien Wu\'s leg explodes while Persephone feels the effect of digesting month-old shrimps.
Holy incompetent crew Batman! You can so clearly see that Tien Wu and Aphrodite weren\'t filmed on the same day or at least under similar lighting conditions.
"Boobality!" Eh? Don\'t ask me.
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And with this, ah\'m out.
Topic: Bikini Karate Babes, Hawky\'s take on the subject. (Read 1212 times)