Here are a few, now if only you could get Ben Stein to read them...
"It\'s so hot.... ouch"
"Now, THAT\'s a spicey bottle of stuff"
"Yo Quierro burnt rectum"
"Ow, my mouth"
"Warning!!... Just kidding, it\'s safe"
"Don\'t try masturbating with this."
ps - these were supposed to be bad.