Proof that Santa is dead

WELCOM TO LAST YAER!!!S

We all know Santa\'s fake. Now the Easter Bunny, that\'s a whole different story.

[videoholic]

SO you just found out last year?

•   Santa\'s society of elves has at least five hundred uninterrupted years to evolve- socially and intellectually.

•   Their understanding of physics and engineering exceeds our own.

•   To deliver presents in a single night, Santa and elves would have researched a means to create more "time" - recognizing that time itself can be stretched like a rubber band, that space itself can be squeezed like an orange, and that light itself can be bent (based on general relativistic principles).

•   It is thought that the first breakthrough came when they learned how to control time, how to control space and how to control light. They would have created “relativity clouds.”

•   In contrast with Santa\'s five hundred years of understanding general relativistic principles, our understanding spans less than 100 years - and it\'s incomplete. We haven\'t unified the electrical and gravitational forces, nor resolved issues associated with wave-particle duality, nor examined singularities and other dramatic curvatures of space-time that could be used to manipulate space-time.

•   Relativity clouds are controllable domains (volumes) within which space-time is controlled. An observer inside a relativity cloud perceives time, space and light differently than an observer outside the relativity cloud.

•   Inside the relativity cloud, Santa has months to deliver presents. Santa sees the world frozen and only hears silence.

•   Upon returning to the North Pole, and leaving the domain of the relativity cloud, only a few minutes go by.

•   The presents are truly delivered in the wink of an eye.

Originally posted by PS2_-\'_\'-_PS2
that was in "the metro" on friday i think, a free newspaper on publice transmport, i think it may just b Glasgow dunno, anyway it was the same thing only shortened.

Nah

We have that over here in Queens, NY. Something to read while on the bus/train.

Originally posted by videoholic
SO you just found out last year?

No, hence the plural tense.

[Paul2]

3 years ago, I was in Geometry class, my highly trained math teacher read this out to us too.

[Evi]

Originally posted by Cyrus
•   Santa\'s society of elves has at least five hundred uninterrupted years to evolve- socially and intellectually.

•   Their understanding of physics and engineering exceeds our own.

•   To deliver presents in a single night, Santa and elves would have researched a means to create more "time" - recognizing that time itself can be stretched like a rubber band, that space itself can be squeezed like an orange, and that light itself can be bent (based on general relativistic principles).

•   It is thought that the first breakthrough came when they learned how to control time, how to control space and how to control light. They would have created “relativity clouds.”

•   In contrast with Santa\'s five hundred years of understanding general relativistic principles, our understanding spans less than 100 years - and it\'s incomplete. We haven\'t unified the electrical and gravitational forces, nor resolved issues associated with wave-particle duality, nor examined singularities and other dramatic curvatures of space-time that could be used to manipulate space-time.

•   Relativity clouds are controllable domains (volumes) within which space-time is controlled. An observer inside a relativity cloud perceives time, space and light differently than an observer outside the relativity cloud.

•   Inside the relativity cloud, Santa has months to deliver presents. Santa sees the world frozen and only hears silence.

•   Upon returning to the North Pole, and leaving the domain of the relativity cloud, only a few minutes go by.

•   The presents are truly delivered in the wink of an eye.

Wha...?

[Titan]

First time I read that and very interesting.

... wait

so santa isn\'t real? :eek:  

No, he\'s real.

Just, dead.

-Dan

[clips]

you do know what santa really stands for right?..satan! he was created by the white man to take away the tru meaning of christmas  ...which is the birth of jesus christ...s**t this santa claus puts too much pressure on parents during the holidays :evil:  

[GmanJoe]

Originally posted by square_marker
... wait

so santa isn\'t real? :eek:  

St. Nicholas was the Bishop of Myra in the 4th Century. Though the Catholic Church is skeptical of his actual existance. He was known to give gifts to children. His most famous and legendary act was hearing about a young woman about to be sold, by her parents, into prostitution because they did not have enough money for her dowry. Back in the day, no dowry for the groom\'s family, no marriage.

So, St. Nicholas snuck into their home and left some gold coins in their stockings, which were left to dry by the fireplace. Why the stockings? Well, if thieves happened to sneak in after him, they wouldn\'t check the stinky socks, would they?

Anyway, apparently the daughter had enough dowry and was married off.

Germans took this tradition and played it out during Christmas. In German, Saint = Sinter. Nicholas = Klaus. Sinter Klaus.

See? He may have existed. Oh yeah.....the Romans crucified him, I think.


EDIT - no, he wasn\'t killed by the Romans. He was jailed by them but later freed by Constantine, the Roman Emporer who switched to Christianity.

Twas the night before Christmas
Old Santa was pissed.
He cussed out the elves
and threw down his list.

Miserable little brats,
ungrateful little jerks.
I have a good mind
to scrap the whole works !




I\'ve busted my ass for damn near a year.
Instead of "Thanks Santa" what do I hear?
The old lady bitches cause I work late at night.
The elves want more money--The reindeer all fight

Rudolph got drunk and goosed all the maids.
Donner is pregnant and Vixen has AIDS.
And just when I thought that things would get better
Those assholes from the IRS sent me a letter,
They say I owe taxes--if that ain\'t damn funny
Who the hell ever sent Santa Claus any money?

And the kids these days--they all are the pits
They want the impossible--Those mean little shits
I spent a whole year making wagons and sleds
Assembling dolls...Their arms, legs and heads
I made a ton of you yo yo\'s--No request for them! ,
They want computers and robots..they think--I\'m IBM !

Flying through the air...dodging the trees
Falling down chimney\'s and skinning my knees
I\'m quitting this job there\'s just no enjoyment
I"ll sit on my fat ass and draw unemployment.

There\'s no Christmas this year,
now you know the reason,

I found me a redhead.
I\'m going SOUTH for the season!

Originally posted by theomen
does this study take into account...MAGIC!?

Exactly….

Everyone knows that Santa has power over TIME & SPACE making the one night trip to deliver presents entirety possible.
He also know when you have been Bad or Good too… Thanks to a network of secret CCTV’s across the globe.

[clips]

haha..very funny guar!...